So that's the Book!
I already have a line of 10 poems waiting for the next collection (this brain sleeps precious little), but I'm going to take a break from collaging/posting for now so that I can put this book together {front/back cover already in-process, see above}. I'm only putting in the best, so if there's one you like POST A COMMENT, for gosh sakes, and I'll put it in there for you :)
I'd like to thank especially Julie P., Jessica P., Krista L., David K., Brigitte H., and the natural world in general for contributing so many aesthetic moments to these collages; Julie, Val, Ashley, Jenna, my dear friend Lilyann, Kanani, Jenny, Brittany, Riley, Jacquie, sweet adventurous Becky, Mallory, Eryn, Irena, and the judiciously vicious carniceria of actual / computer-mediated date-finding in general for spurring so much of this poetic self-medication (and growth in understanding) regarding the nature of male-female communication, the negotiation of mental/physical attraction, and the affective/philosophical construction of self-acceptance and confidence.
Since everyone so far has reacted with some variation of balloon-eyes (you know, ..oo00OO) on hearing the book title Virgins are Meant to Die, here's the back jacket-cover's elaboration. Thanks for reading, closing your eyes, and imagining with me:
* * *
To the virgins,
or their champions:
or their champions:
Before you get upset with
me,
inhale a step back from
'literally' and think
about what it felt like
growing up:
Remember your skin, when you
considered saying “hello,”
catching the air on some
sweat that you didn't feel growing
until – yeah:
there's the body your eyes
were in love with ...
And do you remember when
your crush-gods/goddesses
stopped being perfect? For
your sake, I hope you do – if they still
seem faultless, there's a
lot of dying yet ahead of you.
But No, don't worry,
love, if your skin's still soft, pre- bruised,
and thinks the ground will
be just another cloud
for falling through.
The ground will help you
stand up after
it makes you weep. Die as a
virgin,
rise a bit stronger-skinned,
and treasure
the scores that you keep.
- JK
(23 August 2013)
(23 August 2013)
The Temporary Nature of Virginity: the more PC(and therefore, far less fun) version of your title. Virginity is nothing but a lack of experience-a virgin is anyone without blemishes, unadulterated by wounds of involvement, in any aspect of life. Inexperience is not a permanent state; it’s almost impossible to remain untouched forever. And that’s the crux of the shock over the title: it’s not “Virgins Deserve to Die”, though on first reading, the actual title doesn’t seem much better. No, you simply want to point out that virgins are fated to lose their title, precisely because the definition of their title insists that it is a transitory state.
ReplyDeleteI love that the explanation is not just for the virgins, but also for their champions: those who champion virginity, who insist on prolonging it, who shame those who have lost it(this more commonly in a sexual context). A lack of experience shouldn’t be glorified OR ridiculed. “Don’t worry” is an assurance for those ashamed to still have it. For those who glorify it, they should treasure, not an intangible lack of experience, but the “scores that [they will] keep”: the experiences they will have.
In the end, the title just says “Experience is inevitable.” It may not be easy, it will bruise us and hardness us, certainly, but we can cherish it and accept it, and once we’ve managed that...well, I guess that’s what the rest of the book is going to explain. :)
An elegant and accurate paraphrase ... thank you for helping to strip my title of all its seeming shock and audacity, Stephanie (I suppose I invited that, didn't I?), though ...
Delete"The Temporary Nature of Virginity: Experience is inevitable." I hope you see why I opted for the more brazen title. ;)
This poem puts into words that strange and awkward moment in everyone's life where they suddenly begin to compare themselves to the world's expectations and their peers. This comparison evokes the curiosity of how others see oneself and how one sees others. Along with these questions come the emotions experienced in this new context that have never been experienced before. All of these new realizations define "what it felt like growing up." The poem has picked up on the nuances as grand or as small that truly illustrate becoming an adult. Not only do I feel that this poem is speaking to the loss of virginity in mature situations, but to the first moments of realizing how different you are from the person standing across from you and how that difference is perceived by you and society. From these revelations spur the feelings of shyness, excitement, and self-consciousness that are felt when "you considered saying "hello," catching the air on some sweat that you didn't feel growing until- yeah: there's the body your eyes fell in love with..." or the feelings of surprise, shock, dismay, and understanding felt when "your crush-gods/goddesses stopped being perfect." By providing a personal example that is more or less specific, you have captured the feelings that are felt when growing up. When reading this poem, I was able to relate to these emotions and identify with them; making this poem resonate with me.
ReplyDeleteAs others have been saying, this poem's casual and direct dialogue--which is easily integrated into the stanzas as opposed to isolated--along with its second person point of view makes it feel personal. The idea is that the poem's subject is a transition that every person goes through, thus making it a universal struggle that the reader can identify with. However, the poem is not at all personal in terms of the speaker. You don't recount your own experience through these words. It can be inferred that such occurrences as "your skin[...]catching the air on some sweat[...]" have been your own, which is why you wrote them. However, the speaker's attitude is somewhat condescending, as it is much more experienced than its audience. This is shown through commands such as "Before you get upset with me," (an implied command not to get upset) and "No, don't worry, love,"
ReplyDeleteEssentially, you are transferring the focus of the poem from yourself, the most common subject of a poem, to the reader.
This poem captures the very essence of adolescence. The fear of the experiences that will blemish a faultless existence and send someone into a shameful position, leaving them vulnerable to judgment. Your causal diction makes the message so relatable and not only do you touch on virginity, but also those who champion it, who feel as though an imperfection is inferior and try to keep their purity for as long as possible. The details you include, such as the persons "skin, when you considered saying 'hello,'" remind me of your personal investment, however these details are just broad enough to allow for my own memories and emotions to connect.
ReplyDelete... if only I knew what those memories and emotions were; that would be interesting.
DeleteThis poem speaks to virginity as a person who is naïve, innocent, and hasn’t experienced, not just in the sexual connotation. This is made very clear by “literally” remembering your experiences transitioning into adulthood. The examples used draw on the reader’s five senses and allow them to recall how growing up felt on their “skin”, not just how they perceived growing up. This poem gives the idea that naïve means oblivious and believing the best. But when “your crush-gods/goddesses stopped being perfect” your expectations were crushed, you became “bruised” or hardened by experience. If you are still a virgin to these experiences, then there is more “deaths ahead” or in other words the deaths of innocent ideas and expectations. The naïve mind is one that has perceived perfection, and once this perception is broken, then experience is gained. The cloud represents the fluffy and innocent mind set of the virgin, and after they fall through that mind set, the ground along with the reality of life with be there to help them stand. “Don’t worry” addresses those who have not yet championed these life experiences; those who are virgins and have not yet been tainted by what life has to offer. The overall idea it that the death of your virginity is inevitable and once this happens, although hardened, you have gained something.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I like the way the title of the poem addresses the duality of man that the poem illustrates. In any other context, looking at that phrase would seem nonsensical yet, it gives the reader insight to what the poem is going to be about. I also think the description of the loved person is interesting in the first stanza; it seems very innocent, juvenile, and pure. This evokes the idea of virginity, which is mentioned in the title. The beginning of the second stanza is interesting because it immediately smashes the angelic and godly vision of the person that is being loved. I also think the use of the rhetorical question was strong because it doesn’t ask if the crush did, it asks when. This implicit statement reveals that for everyone, there is a time that comes, where you realize that no one is perfect; no one is a totally flawless person. I know there is significance in the spacing in the middle line of the second stanza and then again throughout the poem but I am not sure what it is. The final line of the second stanza introduces the idea of death and I interpreted it as the death of the image and fantasy of a perfect soul mate. The idea that soul mates exist is very naive to me and I feel like this poem is a coming of age story. The “death” is the degradation of innocence and the idea that the world is perfect which, is explained by the initial idea of virgins in the title. The third stanza has a lighter mood which is more reassuring and seems to show that there is a way to move past the bad times that leave marks. The final stanza, even though implying that everyone will fall, and get hurt, is reassuring in that it states there will always be a ground, a force that you can draw power from and push yourself up with. So, the second half of the title is addressing the people who have lost their metaphorical virginity and have been knocked down, yet they stand back up as champions.
ReplyDeleteWow. It's rare to see such a true and valid dissection of "growing up." This poem reminded me so much of the movie, Boyhood, as it hits home every vital aspect of being a virgin and understanding its meaning. Yes, the meaning is sexual, but it also incorporates a level of childish ignorance. Those who hold on to their purity with extreme pride do consider themselves "champions" in a sense, but what they lack is any true understanding of life at its raw core. The line, "if your skin's still soft, pre- bruised, and thinks the ground will be just another cloud for falling through," reinforces this very idea. If you hold on to your virginity for to long, you never recognize that failure hurts and that purity is meant to be temporary, not made everlasting.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I had frequent "Oh yeah! I remember that." type moments as I read it through. For example, "Remember your skin, when you considered saying “hello", brought back the often embarrassing and awkward years of middle school, where I treasured the idea of never straying from what is right and what is pure. And then as you stated, "rise a bit stronger-skinned, and treasure the scores that you keep," I could not help but remember transitioning out of my boyish, ignorant, and fearful ways and becoming comfortable with learning from everything life threw at me and not being scared of failure. Thank you for giving me this trip down memory lane I enjoyed it as this poem is remarkably relatable.
Right, because you're, what? 17? 18? ... trust me, you're still very much in your virgin years (read this comment of yours when you're 26 -- I promise you, you'll laugh :)
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