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Urns for our opinions, is how we see
new dates (both of us tired of dates),
Facing off determined smiles, at the far ends of
Shrimp and grits against a Cajun sausage omelet:
“One family tried radical honesty—
their kids had trouble getting jobs.”
“That's not from too much honesty,
I think; just too little tact.”
“Some people see tact as the polite
undoing of honesty; omitting what's true
for not wanting to offend.”
“But those people aren't admitting
that they still pick-and-choose which truths to say:
they don't walk around saying 'That flower's blue,
that old man is thin, this wall is rough and gray.'
Do they?
In the end,
being honest
means telling truth; not telling every truth.”
“Still, I think sometimes people need to
hear hard truths; it helps them grow.”
“I agree. And taking time to think:
'What will help, here and now,
for you to know?'
and
'How to to say that?'
and 'Which part to save
for a later, righter time?'—
That's
kindness,
tact; still open,
still honest—just...”
“Ahg!! I don't think I'll ever teach:
I don't have the patience to
wait for that moment;
to build that trust.”
*
“I really enjoyed this;
I'd like to see you again.”
“Okay. If
as friends;
I'm not
attracted to you—
was that
too
much?
”
The first thing that caught my eye was the image at the top of the poem, with the man seemingly in his own world of blue, while others, on both sides of him, are outside of his bubble. For me, this bubble represents how every single person has their own truth that they believe. Or let's say, a story is acted out in front of a group of people, every single person in that audience will recount that story in a different way because they have all seen little details in that story that others may not have noticed. It just proves how different people are from each other but also how, in their mind, this is their truth of how the story was acted out.
ReplyDeleteAdding the poem to the mix, I feel like being truthful is always hard. Whether it be telling someone a small truth like they have something in their teeth, or a big truth like a revelation, saying the truth to someone’s face is hard. Because saying something true means that it can't be false, adding to the finality and certitude of it all. And knowing what, when, who, where, and how to tell that truth is the hardest part of telling it. Lastly, trust needs to be given between people who tell each other the truth. I mean if some random person told me I had something in my teeth I would be embarrassed for the next hour, but if my best friend told me, I would respond with “why didn't you tell me sooner!” This weird relationship that is present between truth and trust is a hard line to balance, because when do you know if a truth is too big for a person to hear? Or when do you decide if someone needs to hear your truth, because as stated before, one person’s truth might not be the same as someone else's truth.
I think the structure of this poem mirrors the back-and-forth nature of the conversation it describes. As the dialogue on the right moves closer and closer to the dialogue on the left, the conversation becomes more and more personal, until a boundary is overstepped and the dialogue becomes more halting and tentative. I think that this tiptoeing, or the “ums for our opinions,” encapsulates the tedious caution of having a conversation with someone new. While the ritual of social interaction changes over time, I think that it still presents a barrier to connection—people are often scared of saying the wrong thing or presenting themselves in an off-putting way.
ReplyDeleteI think that the conversation about tact that occurs in the poem is notable for its discussion of honesty. Is honesty the hard and fast truth, all the time? Many would say no—but then, what is the right balance between tact and honesty? Can the two coexist? I think so, except for in situations when honesty is difficult but necessary—sometimes a brutal truth is the exception to tact.
I think that the image at the top of the poem represents the separation between two people who are learning about each other for the first time. The rainbow clouds the two individuals’ perception of each other and the interaction, allowing them to see the same situation in two completely separate ways. This idea is further demonstrated through the text at the bottom of the image. I think that this graphic demonstrates how much our opinion of others is rooted in our own worldview, and how our perspectives, which are rooted in our own beliefs and experiences, can easily allow us to be dishonest with ourselves.