JK Life Principles - This Chapter's Additions ...

Rise for the fallen; dance for the solemn.

(We are privileged—as a species, as people with homes and friends, by our money, by our education, our ...—savor it and use it well. Sometimes actively in service, and other times inwardly in grateful memory of those who can't or won't. 

                                                                  This is honor.)

Always be saying goodbye.

(I once read a study—where children were asked to rank how thankful they felt for their parents; then to write for several minutes as though their parents were not alive, and they were remembering them; then to rank their feelings about their parents again...those scores went up markedly—to imagine something gone, is to remember concretely how precious it is. 

                                                                 This is gratitude.)

Oh no! Oh well.

(Feelings of fear or loss or regret or urgency... are spiritual trampolines. Not designed as pits to sink down into, but as collectors of energy to spring off of: into acceptance or farewell or repair or transition... 

                                                                 This is resilience.)

Give what you are happy Giving as a Gift. 

(How challenging is the simple act of saying, unconditionally – “What I have here, I give to you in trust and love, may it benefit you.” 

                                                                 This is kindness.)

Don’t promise future feelings.

(And don't ask for constancy in another person's feelings. Emotion is our body's health-response system: meant to move us toward or away, into circumstances that nurture our current equilibrium. To be safe, fed, restful, connected, fully alive and engaged—requires the constant change of emotions. It can feel terribly unsafe to believe that anyone's heart can turn away from or toward any cause or place or person, at any time ... but that is also the start of letting our own heart free with its wisdom to guide us to place where we will grow and be fed, spread roots and flourish. And genuinely wish others well on that same journey to find a home that feeds their spirit.

                                                                 This is respect.)

Be kind; be real; be honest.

(Unconditionally kind ~ even painful truths and forceful actions can be delivered with nurturing hands and toward healing outcomes. Unconditionally real ~ do you know who you are? Your motives, your passions, your patterns, your addictions/ afflictions/ intensities and your interests/ superpowers/ sensitivities? Start there: know that, admit that, embrace that, and share that ~ because no one has ever needed a false smile or bullshit praise or unlikely-to-deliver promise, who would not have benefitted more from just being in your genuine company. Unconditionally honest ~ of course, first considering that other person's readiness in that moment to understand, accept, and benefit from a truth; then considering how and when best to convey that truth; and finally being silent and holding to our center until it is ripe time to express this truth—be as honest in all company as we can be. 

                                                                 This is wholeness, 

                                                                     faithfulness, 

                                                                         integrity in character.)

If it’s not worth tackling outright, it’s definitely not worth moaning about under your breath.

(There is a time to actively engage against the forces in our environment: to speak out, to raise arms, to assert a power. It is a small portion of time. All other time is for being: to commune, to learn, to appreciate and enjoy. 

                                                                 This is equanimity.)

Care, accept, understand—all of that, together, is love.

(Love is unconditional. Anyone who places conditions on their love for others, has let go one of these parts: that witnessing your true fulfillment brings a joy and peace into my own heart; that believing in your innate capacity to thrive in our world relieves me of any anxious desire to control or limit your path; that seeing how deep your spirit goes, and how little of that I truly know, fills me with a curious desire to observe and learn you better. 

                                                                 This is compassion.)

It’s not what you do; it’s how you do it.

(For god or science, on the welcome stage or in a back room, mapping the journey or making the boot straps...

                                                                 This is kinship and 

                                                                     communion.)