Some places,
I'm held in the cuffs
of my image: it's either
“Same ol' Billy” or “Billy
trying to break free?”
At some point, people
decide they're done
getting to know
the real me.
So then I
shave my head. I
get a tat. Quit my job
and change my religion.
Just to keep my oxygen
on. And so people turn to
equivocating: “You're
just going through
a hard time.
You'll
find your
self again.” Myself.
Was also 3, and 13; then
people asked what my dreams
were, what I wanted to be. Then
I felt like a cradled egg, warm in a
nest, stretching out my walls, barely
contained, forthcoming. At some
point, people wrote down my ever-
changing answer, saying, “We
need to call you 'doctor' or 'pilot',
'soldier' or—or hell, even
'janitor.' We could say
that with a sorry
brow,
and still love you.”
Love? Me? Wrap your
arms around this: I've kissed
more faces, made more mistakes,
missed more passing strangers,
felt more moments of alive than I
could ever catch anyone up on. People
will never see but the crescent moon
of me. Nor I of them: to know
is to never stop re-tracing the
figure; to love is to pause
and be one with that
glowing edge.
The phrase “it’s just a phase” comes to mind when reading this poem. The constant struggle between an individual and a society that wishes to stagnate or label an individual is relevant everyday. One might even have to go to drastic lengths to outwardly show his or her independence, like the speaker says “Just to keep my oxygen/on”. In order to remain sane in the battering face of a hypocritical society that celebrates individuality at a young age, one must have the courage to differentiate true acceptance and love from just words. The speaker knows that it is impossible to imagine another person complexly, “People/ will never see but the crescent moon/of me. Nor I of them: to know/”. The speaker’s resolution to this, however, is to enjoy what aspect of another person one is apart of, to thrive in it and to change with it.
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ReplyDeleteThis poem deals with issues of identity. The pairing of the names “Same ol’ Billy” and “Billy trying to break free” (Lines 4-5) illustrate the speaker’s internal conflict between who he currently is, or who he has been in the past, and who he wants to be. Possibly, he feels that he is trapped by his history or the precedents he has set for himself, but longs for freedom from previous behaviors or patterns. By shaving his head, getting a tattoo, quitting his job, and changing his religion, the speaker is impulsively trying to make a drastic change to become what he believes is his true self, only he doesn’t seem to know exactly who that is yet. He describes that in his youth, he “Felt like a cradled egg, warm in a /nest, stretching out my walls, barely /contained, forthcoming” (Lines 25-27), illustrating the endless possibility that the world seems to hold. However, at some point, people tried to define him and box him into a certain profession, to which he replies, “People /will never see but the crescent moon /of me” (Lines 41-43), illustrating the multidimensionality of his character and his refusal to be boxed into one of society’s labels.
ReplyDeleteNot "trapped by his history or the precedents he has set for himself" but pushed by others' into phases that are, to him, outdated. Is a drastic change necessarily impulsive? Billy states these as intentional choices--like a doctor shocking a patient to get their hear going: he's not seeking his true self in these acts, just recognition from others that he is not a constant. He is still, and always, emerging.
Delete*heart
DeleteThe poem touches upon the speaker’s struggle to find a balance between evolving his own identity while also following the path society has placed in front of him. The societal expectations that have been placed upon him make him feel as though he is “held in the cuffs of my image”, thus revealing his inability to fully open up those surrounding him. This causes the speaker to no longer relinquish his control, and instead alter his decision making by shaving his head, getting a tat, quitting his job, and changing his religion. This revolt against the societal standards put in place for Billy allows his to circumvent the concept of following a predetermined path, such as becoming a pilot or a doctor, and instead create his own. Through his decision to no longer be a “slave” to society nor share his experiences, he isolates himself from those around him yet achieves the concept of fully living within the present. The speaker’s reservations with the concept of love manifest themselves within this idea, that “to pause/ and be one with that/ glowing edge”. By concerning himself with love, the speaker has to get to know another person’s “crescent moon” and cannot continue to develop his own.
ReplyDelete"reservations with the concept of love" ? What reservations?
Delete"By concerning himself with love, the speaker has to get to know another person’s “crescent moon” and cannot continue to develop his own." ? How is that a choice anyone has to make? Either know someone else or develop yourself: you can't do both? (I am so confused by this reading of the poem...help me)
This poem begins by presenting a conflict between Billy and the people around him. Billy feels as if he’s “held in the cuffs/of [his] image”, meaning that he feels bound by the character that society has created for him. Billy’s emergence from this entrapping image is exemplified when he states “I/shave my head. I/get a tat. Quit my job/and change my religion./Just to keep my oxygen/on”. In response to society’s creation of his character and disregard for the “real” him, Billy does things that are specifically disapproved of by society. By saying that he’s doing this “just to keep [his] oxygen/on”, he is demonstrating that he is breaking societal boundaries, obliterating the character given to him by society, in order to keep his true character alive and breathing.
ReplyDeleteLater in the poem, Billy, still unsure of what direction his life is taking him, listens as people insist, “‘We/need to call you ‘doctor’ or ‘pilot’,/’soldier’ or--or hell, even/’janitor.’ We could say/that with a sorry/brow,/and still love you’”. Billy’s response seems almost indignant: “Love? Me? Wrap your/arms around this: I’ve kissed/more faces, made more mistakes,/missed more passing strangers,/felt more moments of alive than I/could ever catch anyone up on. People/will never see but the crescent moon/of me”. In this response, Billy explains how, because he has not yet chosen his path, he has been able to experience a much fuller life. By rejecting the character shaped for him by society, he has had the opportunity to truly suck out all the marrow of life, and yet, all society sees is a man without direction. Society sees only the tiniest sliver of who he is, nothing more than a crescent moon. If this is all they understand of him, then how can they claim to love him?
As for the shape of the poem, I initially thought it could be a series of broken eggs, symbolising Billy emerging from the shell of a character created for him by society. However, I feel like it is more accurate to see each successively larger stanza as a different phase of the moon. The stanzas grow along with Billy as he grows to accept not what he wants to do with his life, but what he wants from life.
Hey sorry for trying to contact you through a comment post (I failed to write down your email). You probably don't remember when visiting my English class, but I'm the girl that asked about humor. You mentioned how you like one-liners and value humor in general. I happen to run an Instagram account with my best friend where we post aesthetically appealing photos of food and original, funny (at least I think they're funny) jokes beneath. It's @thee.spork and I'd love to know what you think. Best, JSD
ReplyDeleteOne-liners are hard to pull off consistently - especially when 100% of the humor is pun-based (as at Thee Spork). So with that forward: I think the pictures are consistently great (in that they make me hungry) and the comments are hit-and-miss (in that maybe 1-in-4 makes my stomach turn: the mark of a successful pun).
DeleteBut the ones y'all get right--e.g., "In queso emergency I pray to cheesus"--hell yes. More of that.
And remember: when in doubt, lead with your feelings--especially in matters of food. You had a burger for breakfast? That is head-humor; doesn't move me. "Drinking beef grease and pineapple juice, is making me re-think coffee as my go-to breakfast beverage"? That is disgusting and delicious simultaneously; that makes me smile.