Maybe you find this, someday.
Whatever that day, I still love you.
My chest springs warm reading old, "I miss you!"s.
You always meant it there. If I could hug you,
Here, I would. If you ever want my voice again, I'll talk.
Some truths between us have turned
Distant in my mind. But my heart,
love ... my heart never forgot.
Blame and fault, they all fall away. And words we didn't
mean, or get to say – all waves I've rowed through.
Maybe you find this, someday.
Whatever that day, I still love you.
"J asked me to add him on Skpe, so we could chat online while he's in Germany. When I went on, I found that we were already connected...and then saw my ex's account, with a picture of her and me on our first solstice date as the profile-image. She hadn't been on in 10 months, or I'm sure she would have changed it – since she's unfriended me on FB five times, told me “I'm blocking your number” three times, and said definitively, “I'm done with this, take care” at least twenty times in the 2 months since I broke up with her.
ReplyDeleteI think the last round of cutting me off was for real … because she was polite about it: “Thank you for everything. I wish you the best of luck. Please don't try calling, your # is blocked, don't come by, please stay away. Take care.” So I'm preparing for that, and seeding my world with a bunch of little connections so I don't lose touch with her completely. I planned with her roommate to stay in contact in the new year, friended her mom on FB, and I'm leaving this little poem on Skype – so if she ever goes on, a year or ten years from now, she'll catch a little breeze of my voice again, and maybe get in touch."
– 23 December 2015
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ReplyDeleteFirst, starting with the title of this poem, I sensed that this poem would address uncomfortable feelings of regret while reminiscing upon past events, and the desire to go back in time and do things differently, a natural tendency that we all occasionally feel the urge to do. Consequently, I felt as though this poem could be applicable to everyone's lives, whether it relates to the speaker's situation of no longer being in a relationship, or it simply corresponds to lingering feelings from a different circumstance.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read the first stanza of the poem, I was overcome with feelings of empathy and sorrow. The line "Whatever that day, I still love you." causes me as a reader to feel for the speaker, as I can sense the heartfelt, genuine emotions that were involved in the relationship. The idea that blame and fault disappears yet feelings of love are still ingrained in a person's heart following the break-up of a relationship is a powerful and compelling message because trivial manners, such as disagreements and words that were never spoken, are meant to be forgotten, but the deeper, more effective and passionate feelings of love are intended to make a lasting impact.
Also, a stylistic element I noticed was that many of your poems have mysterious formatting, with extended space between words and unique shapes being formed with the collection of stanzas. However, this poem has a simple format with consistent two-line stanzas. Is this perhaps because relationships elicit raw emotions that are best portrayed in the simplest, most straightforward way?
I felt as though this poem was extremely honest and that the speaker expresses vulnerability and sincerity, something that can be very difficult to do with deep emotions of love.
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ReplyDeleteThe poem reminds me of how I keep all the old birthday cards that friends and family have given to me, and when I randomly find them in my room and start reading them, a rush of warm feelings come over me just like how the speaker feels happy reading the old messages of "I miss you" and reminiscing joyful memories.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard for me to connect with the speaker's feelings of heartbreak because I have not had a similar experience, but I understand the frustration that comes with not being able to say everything I want to or being misunderstood. After an argument with my mom or my sister, I think about it for hours after and realize that in the heat of the moment, I said some things that I didn't mean which leads me to realize that the argument overall was insignificant. After a while, I forget what I was angry about in the first place. I liked the image of the speaker rowing through the waves because I saw the waves as unimportant, small problems passing by but they seem large and scary when you are in the thick of it or see them building up as they approach.
I chose this poem purely on the title. For me, the title seemed desperate, I envisioned a lonely man sitting at his computer with Skype open on a woman's page, a woman who he used to talk to for hours a day and have it feel like minutes. However, now that woman has moved on, abandoned their account and the man knows that; he also knows that she will not read anything on their chat because of the lack of activity between them. The man decides to write to the abandoned account to get his feelings out there and a small part of him wishes that she will log onto her Skype and see the messages and fall for him once again. The poem gives me a sense of nostalgia and hits very close to home. I am sure the man and I are not the only ones who read through old messages to remember a time when things were good. This poem puts me back into a place where I want to go back and think about what could have been or just reminisce on the euphoria I had whenever I was talking to that person. They also say that you never get over your first love, and I think the man in the poem is talking about his. In the fourth stanza when the poet says that the heart never forgets he means that no matter how much you are trying to forget this moment, you never will. You will still feel a heaviness of your heart when you think about the bad times, or butterflies when you think about the good. Though when you think back you often try to find a reason why things ended up as they did. Stanza five displays the mind perfectly; the brain will always want to come up with a reason. Though it is not always true, you can feel like it was your fault that things ended the way they did, and you can go crazy trying to figure out what it was that you did; but at the end of the day, it was a mutual thing. Yet, the feeling of love is still there, because, in your eyes, your lover could do no wrong.
ReplyDeleteThis poem reminded me of how after I recently lost a friend, I wrote a note never intending for them to see it, but just to use it as an outlet to express my feelings of anger, sadness, and missing them. I wrote down all that I wished I could say, but that I knew I would never have the courage to actually tell them. In some ways it helped, but in others their was still a sense of leaving something unfinished.
ReplyDeleteBy leaving the message on the unused Skype it left a sort of hope that maybe the intended person would see the message, and that they would know how the speaker truly felt. I wonder if in some ways, the speaker got a greater sense of comfort in knowing that the recipient might see the message and that the speaker’s feelings might actually be known than I did by not even giving the person a chance to know what I thought.
What stood out to me about this poem when I first saw it was the fact that it is shorter in length than some of the other poems on the website. To me, this conveyed the pain of the speaker and the short message that is being told over the abandoned Skype account (as the title would suggest.) The poem reminds me of the feeling everyone has experienced of growing apart from someone, but always knowing that you love them and would talk to them if you were ever given the chance. Even though there is great sadness and loss in the poem, there is still a feeling of hope in the words. It is almost as if the speaker knows that there is still a chance that he will be able to reconnect with the subject of the poem, which left me with a hopeful feeling, rather than a sad one. It creates the image of two people being so connected at one point in time and after a falling out have decided to grow apart and live their lives separate from each other, and the pain that brings.
ReplyDeleteThis poeming was incredibly moving attributed to the fact that it makes the reader, me, feel connected and warm. There is a feeling in this poem that is present. This poem made me miss someone. Not anyone in particular, but it makes you feel like when you are looking through old texts or messages or photos, and you are remembering the times when things were simpler or better. It’s the feeling of longing, nostalgia. I like the way that it states that although situationally, things may not be the same, the heart still remembers the feeling. This poem made me feel heartbreak, but happiness, and a deep feeling of love. I like the futuristic aspect of the image because it makes you feel like in the future, down the line 40 years, feelings that were made when you were younger will never really go away. I also enjoy how the first line is “Maybe you find this, someday”. It feels as though, although this feelings or thoughts may never be aired, it is important to at least put them out there. I like that feeling of liberation, getting it off your chest. I really connected to this poem and enjoyed it thoroughly.
ReplyDeleteI was struck by this poem’s ability to capture the complexity of relationships. From his comment and the poem itself, despite this separation being old and instigated by him, I liked how he acknowledged that he continues to feel pain and remorse about being unable to maintain the connection they once had. The speaker describes the feelings of “blame and fault, they all fall away” which I thought was particularly poignant. While initially these feelings of anger, hurt, and sadness blinded him, he acknowledges his acceptance of these and with these emotions settled, he is left with a desire to reconnect. While I enjoyed this poem, I found myself newly appreciative of the poem following the author’s explanation and elaboration of the poem in his comment. The author’s hope that “a year or ten years from now, she’ll catch a little breeze of my voice again, and maybe get in touch” is something that resonated with me. To my embarrassment and unending shame, there are times where I want to reconnect in relationships but yet, at other times, am repulsed by my own betrayal of myself. The simultaneously chaotic and dull aftermath of a relationship is described perfectly by Kuntzman; chaotic in its emotional destruction and the brief periods of reconnection, and dull in its daily repetition of longing and unfulfilled connection. In my life, following a period of growing close with someone and then experiencing a fracture in that relationship, felt compulsively compelled to fill the void that the author seems much better at reconciling with. Ultimately, this poem reminded me of the difficulty and importance of letting go and making room for new relationships in life.
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ReplyDeleteI first read the poem and thought what a heartwarming poem of a man longing for that ardent love. But when I re-read after reading the author’s comment on the story behind the poem, it felt honest and real. The line “My chest springs warm reading old, “I miss you!”s makes me imagine of the author going through his old messages with his ex-girlfriend and recalling the days they were in love. The following line “You always meant it there” tells me that looking back to those moments, he had now realized she was being direct and genuine in expressing her love for him when he couldn’t. Because of that, I felt the empathy with the man in the story and saw myself following along the lines. The regret and lingering affection towards the woman in the line, “And words we didn't mean, or get to say” shows that he still wishes to apologize for his mistakenly spoken words and say what he got to say through this poem because he hasn’t rowed through those waves of regret.
ReplyDeleteI think it also felt real because it reminded me of a friend whom I can never forget and I still wish to meet her and say that I was sorry about everything. Looking back, she was the true friend who was always there for me and embraced an immature and mean 12 years-old girl with her warm heart. (I love how the poem was inspired by the profile picture of him with his ex-girlfriend.)
Immediately, the name of the poem strikes me as interesting, but I don’t fully realize the sentimental value it carries until after finishing the poem and the context you gave in your comment. When I think of a time capsule, I think of some sort of treasure trove buried in the sand, uncovered years after it was buried, and of much shock value to the discoverer. I could tell that the poem was about some past lover that you had lost a connection with given the sentimental language used, and the tone of remorse in some areas of the poem. However, the contextual comment you gave really rounded out the story for me. The poem strikes an image of someone who has accepted that he or she has to move on from something, and does so, but not without an emotional outpouring like this poem. Parts where you say if you ever want my voice again, I will lend it, tug at the reader’s heart, as if the speaker is saying, he loves his ex so much that even though they are separated, he will do anything to ensure she is safe and doing well; in essence, his care for her transcends the relationship - it is on a human level.
ReplyDeleteI also feel like the comment the poet posted gave the poem a whole new meaning. When I first read this, I knew that it was seriously addressed to someone because of the phrase “Maybe you find this, someday”. I knew that the poet probably had someone in mind, but thought the poem was more screaming their feelings out into the void… After reading the comment, I realized that the poet was not just leaving unshared feelings out to be heard by random readers; the poem seriously stands as a gesture to his ex lover. Also, I agree with your idea that his care for her is truly genuine and human. This is obvious in the fact that he expresses he will always be there, waiting to offer love and support as soon as his ex needs it. The idea that in a year or 10 years, his ex might stumble across this and choose to reconnect with the poet really does make this poem a time capsule. It stands to solidify the poet’s feelings that his love will linger for a very long time moving forward, and it will be interesting to see if these feelings stand with time.
DeleteThis poem has an extremely relatable quality to it, even though it is very personal to the poet and speaks from a specific experience. I really connected with this poem after reading, “Some truths between us have turned / Distant in my mind. But my heart, / love … my heart never forgot”. In this moment, the poet articulates the power of nostalgia, in that it seems to blur out the negativity of past relationships, which I think is the overarching message of this poem. Although I assumed that this poem would discuss the poet’s suppressed sadness or regret, it did the opposite, rather expressing how easy it is to forgive and forget with time… I think that this is why the poem feels personal.
ReplyDeleteI also enjoy that this poem is functioning as a way for the poet to reconnect with his old lover. In this day and age, the people we choose to surround ourselves with notice our presence at all times, not only in person, but on all of our many forms of social media. In a time where it is so easy to connect, and send fabricated messages to those close to us through posing and editing on instagram, there is something special about a candid poem that is intended to be stumbled upon.
The poem deals with a speaker that is clinging to a past lover. It feels as if the speaker is trying to cope with this loss of love in an unhealthy and perhaps creepy way. The speaker expresses a constant affection for the past lover, while also hinting at things that went array in their relationship and the fault and blame of them. Despite this hinting of things gone wrong, the speaker makes no gesture to apologize for their actions, seeming to indicate that they believe that any future relations they have with that person should be based purely on the love they have for each other, and mutual forgiveness should be put forth. The shape of the poem is several couplets, with the first and last one being the same. The first and last lines of the poem being the same give the poem a feeling of finality: that the speaker wrote the poem with a decided and closed mind on the issue; the poem goes back to where it started in the end, ultimately leading nowhere, merely explaining itself along the way. The collage features two welded, humanoid constructs running away from the viewer. It seems that one is chasing the other. Ahead of them is pure light, on the sides images of simple technology such as wires prevail. By making the constructs run towards the light it seems that they will ultimately reach the same place, though one currently feels the other, as the light appears to have no concept of relative space for the viewer to base location off of. Another image this invokes is one of heaven like the constructs ultimately will reach it together, but in life are separated as one pining for the other.
ReplyDeleteThis poem reminds me of old friendships that have ended and who I no longer speak to, but whose text messages I still have preserved on my phone. Their presence, which was once vibrant and a major part of my life, has been reduced to words typed on a screen. Reading back on these old texts is nostalgic, but also empty, because it does not encompass the true intimacy our relationship once had; the poem contains the line “If I could hug you, / Here, I would.” These digital reminders are just enough to evoke the memory of a loved one from my past without truly bringing them within reach.
ReplyDeleteThe poem reflects a heart-over-head mentality towards the subject. At this point, the speaker is focused entirely on their feelings of love for the subject and has let any arguments they have had or harsh words they’ve spoken to each other fall away. This reflects the idea that words (like those written in old text messages) are not a true reflection of a relationship and don’t show the actual intimacy between two people. Words are forgettable, but in the end it’s the feelings inside that count.
The collage shows a bookshelf in what appears to be a library, and two figures who look like screws in a running motion. It looks to me like one of the screws is chasing after the other; I think this represents the speaker of the poem chasing after their lost love. The library symbolizes all that remains of their relationship: words. The speaker can read old messages from their lost love, but cannot hug them or hear their voices. One possible interpretation of the portrayal of the characters as screws is that they have been “unscrewed”—they used to be connected to each other, but now they are separated and have nothing keeping them together.