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I'll start with my friend's true story:
The day he met his adviser
(In an auditorium full of artists –
Hot & sharp against cool & wiser)
With that graying hair, with that eye
patch on,
Sitting so toad-like and somberly laced
That when he said, "A year ago, when I lost
My eye to cancer," with that stern, straight face
My eye to cancer," with that stern, straight face
The boy's mouth popped open: a giant laugh
That he couldn't rein back in.
But perhaps he was listening best (I think):
A somber face should
make us grin:
A crying infant? That's a funny face.
Or an old lady startled from the rear?
Or – the next time that you're on a
toilet seat –
That purple-red face in the mirror?
All honestly funny from a few steps
back
Or a few layered, fair days away
(There – when everyone was spent, and
Chaffed, and all their masks melted
away).
That's what the best-humored uprights
Drink in: the jig-carving wake of boys
gaffing.
So the funniest people seldom smile – they just
So the funniest people seldom smile – they just
Look at us straight ... while we fall down laughing.
I feel as though this poem can mean one of two things. One, it could be ironic and commenting on human cruelty or two, it may be commenting on our need for comic relief. Personally, I prefer the second interpretation. I try to live like this and I believe many will agree that sometimes laughing is just necessary. People say one should never take life too seriously because that will only make life seem miserable. So I think your anecdote perfectly demonstrates this idea. It seems to me that it is in the most tragic moments of our lives where humor is most necessary. It keeps us from falling into the perpetual hole that we know as depression. Even Shakespeare recognized this need for humor to offset his tragedies. It has also come quite apparent to me that people do not like to be pitied. It's some part of our nature that we hate to seem weaker than others and pity just magnifies our shortcomings; therefore, it is nice to have that person who is willing to laugh and treat you like nothing is wrong. This is why I agree that your friend was listening best, because he was looking past pity and treating the advisor like a person rather than a victim. Of course there are times where it may be inappropriate to laugh, but this poem reminds me that it is also O.K. to laugh at the misfortunes of life sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI strive to limit irony in my messages where possible: it's too close a sibling with sarcasm, which is sour, pessimistic, and condescending more often than not.
DeleteSo yes, laugh (sometimes just on the inside, but always keep your smile well-exercised -- for the benefit of you and the company you keep).
I love this poem. I love comedy and I wrote my personal statement about the importance of laughter in one’s life. Sometimes life can be a tragedy, and humor is our medicine. In this poem, it is funny how the man can keep a straight face about a topic so gory and out of nowhere. I enjoy people who can be very transparent about the wildest subjects while keeping a straight face, or delivering crazy information so casually. It shows how certain subjects should be more normalized. Topics such as mental health, past traumas, or family experiences are at times hard for people to bring up. However, if they were delivered with no expectations of comfort or sympathy, it could be easier to talk about. I have one friend who I can bring up a small detail of my life that may be shockingly horrible to most, but he usually responds with something casual. It ends up being more comforting than someone reacting with fear or shock. While using humor as a crutch to relieve past traumas is not always the best solution, laughter can be used as a tool to normalize typically abnormal experiences. I love making my friends laugh and the easiest way to do so is to say the unexpected with a straight face, so I find relatable aspects to this poem. Also, comedians tend to not be the happiest and it is interesting how a man who in the poem struggled was able to create the most happiness out of someone else.
ReplyDelete"I love making my friends laugh and the easiest way to do so is to say the unexpected with a straight face" ~ Will Farrell has literally been paid mansions-worth for doing essentially this. Nothing but this.
DeleteAnd I agree:
The Zen truism that “Pain is inevitable; Suffering is optional” is essentially a paraphrase of your observation that "Topics such as mental health, past traumas, or family experiences are at times hard for people to bring up. However, if they were delivered with no expectations of comfort or sympathy, it could be easier to talk about."
Keep making people laugh. Especially when they don't want to :)