.jpg)
I feel like I'm on the edge
Of something good or something bad:
The last piece of air between a kiss;
The soft, rasped wood of a shelf-end.
I feel immediate: raw and numb
Like an onion-tongue, an ice-bagged
gash
On a toe. I never know when
To stop chewing, to stop wiping what
comes.
But I think what's beyond me
Is better than I've ever felt:
The smooth-gummed baby who laughs like
Maybe I did – I don't remember.
To me, this poem speaks of someone who’s on a figurative precipice in life--whichever way he ends up “falling” could result in positive or negative outcomes. I think this is made most apparent when he describes how his feelings are like “the last piece of air between a kiss.” He feels that perhaps, in this moment, things in his life are unresolved or unfinished. Perhaps there may be something great in his future (i.e. the kiss will finally happen; the lips will meet) but, at least in the moment that he’s speaking, he feels unsettled and melancholy--specifically “raw and numb.” In the last stanza, there’s a bit of regret or wistfulness. I picture the speaker seeing an image of himself as a baby (“smooth-gummed” giving the impression that he’s very young in the picture) , laughing or smiling, and noting the differences between then and now. Simultaneously he wonders, or perhaps even hopes, that some part of him is still as innocent and carefree as he was as a baby.
ReplyDeleteYes, the speaker was, did feel, and did hope that way.
DeleteWell-read...
I found it impossible to read this poem without rooting for the speaker and his success. My interpretation is that the speaker is approaching a momentous point in life and is nervous about how he will react under intense pressure. I felt as though the speaker was speaking from past experiences when he mentions the moment just before a kiss. He has been in emotionally stressful situations many times before and is displeased with some of the outcomes because of his own reactions towards them. From the line, “I never know when to stop chewing, to stop wiping what comes” I made the interpretation that the speaker puts an intense amount of pressure on himself to achieve perfect results. As a result, he has a difficult time letting go of control when need be and spends so much time on decisions that he lets the best opportunity pass. In the last stanza, however, the speaker is very hopeful about his future, “But I think what’s beyond me is better than I’ve ever felt.” He is acknowledging his own shortcomings but at the same time not letting them control the outcome of the important event that is nearing. From the last line of the poem, “Maybe I did - I don’t remember” I think the speaker is letting go of all of his past failures and making an effort to grab ahold of opportunities as they come in the way children do, without putting in too much thought.
ReplyDeleteThat last line was meant a little differently -- and actually strikes me as the most melancholy line in the poem: it's referencing that joyful laugh that babies give, and that he's sure he had inside of himself at one point ... but that was a time so long ago he can't remember it. So (A) he knows he has that potential, somewhere inside, to be joyous and happy in the moment, but (B) is also acknowledging that he has, for a long time, lost his grip on that immediacy. ...There's a lot of pressure riding along that edge...
Delete