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I'm waiting for you to hang me. {crack}
So far, you've only ever
choked me, slowly:
“Sounds
good!”
And then silence.
“I
can't tonight. There's ___”
Never “I
don't think so.”
“I
won't ever. It's YOU.”
You're waiting for me to leave.
I know, but I only never
do. I have to try:
“Until
next time”
Or
“How
about ____?”
And always, in a week,
back like new:
“Want
to grab a tea?”
I feel you retreating
in that space, and I
hope – more and more
That you'll tell me
{snap/ pop}
what's already understood.
But
“Sorry, I
can't tonight.
There's
a meeting,
I'm
going to see
my
family, my
friend's
in town.”
“Have
fun. Until our
next
gap.” “Sounds
good!”
("Sounds good!" came on Monday.
ReplyDeleteWe'll see how long it takes to get the straight “I'm not gonna give you a shot.”
Don't understand why they give me their numbers. Or why, in the first place, they ever write back.
Give me a chance, dears, or cut me loose:
I don't mind dying, but I hate the noose.)
One Monday hence: (paraphrased) "I'm sort of seeing someone now, ... but I'll let you know if things change. good luck!"
ReplyDeleteThat's good, right? Better on my self-confidence, anyway (more reasons exist for a girls to inch away slowly than the realization "This guy is completely nuts!"). Hooray for me!
Seriously, This made me happy.
Haven't we all had those experiences where we wait with bated breath for acknowledgement from someone we temporarily worship but who is utterly indifferent toward us? Or maybe needs us, but doesn't care about us like we care about them? It's not until some time passes where we can look at our actions and say, "I was being ridiculous"…and even then, at the back of our minds, we still may be thinking a little bitterly, "No, they're the ridiculous one." I've felt everything you described in your poem to a T (and laughed a little at your follow-up comments, too).
ReplyDelete