Children beg to play
In fields made of pits
And stitched with sharp sticks.
So parents shudder, “Aaayy!!
Be careful, love...” as
The light lows and thins.
But the children laugh. For
Their hands can break a blade
Of grass.
Their feet can unlock the bonds
of sucking mud. Their tears
Can make giants kneel—in love.
Parents fret, freshly remembering
Their own quiet losses onto
These brakeless creatures
Who are finding, first-hand,
The world's sudden
Nature.
But old, slow persisters—
Wrinkled so their scars
are hidden,
Warmed by gray
mittens—laugh;
Loose throat-skins
Catching on their breaths,
They ask:
“Now, how did You
learn
What it takes to survive?
First your bone broke,
Then your friend died.
Remember that?
Stumbling on
To where life has its ends.
So let them rip,
And heal. Let them
Drop, and feel.
Let them go,
And come:
Too Fast,
Too soon,
Too Confident,
Too dumb.
Let them own that
Pain past the edge.
That view off the ridge.
That bitter smell,
disbelieving.
That ache-sick-sinking
feeling
Of loss and preciousness:
Let them find out every
Now is an end begun.
For owning that—owning
that.
Owning that is
freedom come.”
"Once again, I return to the mantra of accepting the inevitable waste of growing—the off-turns, the distractions, the uninformed trials and overconfident injuries, the fearful back-steps and hesitantly missed opportunities, the disregard for what is delicate and valuable, the too-late desire to nurture back what has faded away. This time, I'm casting that idea as the image of youth going out to play, and of three generations' perspectives on that activity … for all its dangers, necessary. And inevitable."
ReplyDelete- 3 November 2015
This poem caught my attention as soon as I read the first stanza. Children think that they are invincible and parents try to protect them because they know that they are not. I find it especially interesting that the experiences that we must go through in order to learn “what it takes to survive” are taken to the extreme, with a friend dying. What was your intention with writing about two extreme moments, breaking a bone and then a friend dying? Growing up, I also thought that I was invincible and I feel glad to not have been protected from understanding that I am not. I never broke a bone, nor lost a friend, but I can understand that we must go through hardships in order to learn how to get through them. A part of me wants to protect my future children from everything that I will go through and the mistakes that I will make, but this poem helps me realize that “owning” our pains and losses is the only way to overcome them.
ReplyDeleteI think you answered your own question :) I choose extreme images because its the quickest way to make a point: the alternative is to craft a nuanced logical argument that people will feel comfortable arguing against (because it would be emotionally gray; it would have no feelings attached). So I wrote the argument in feelings: scenes that help you realize the universal process of growing up.
ReplyDeleteYou may never break a bone. But you may (as I've done) lacerate your hands, or some other intense injury. And you will lose friends, some of them perhaps unexpectedly. And those losses will help you to savor what you still have in this world ... what a wild ride we're on :)
This poem touches upon the idea of growing up. As adults, parents tend to try and make their children grow up without even being aware of it. In your poem, you show this physically with the images of the children playing in dangerous areas and the parents worrying about their safety. But for me, I’ve noticed this in the negative reactions parents give to the things their children say. When I was younger (and still to this day) I have always been extremely open about my life and said whatever I was thinking. I don’t think there’s even one thing in this world that not a single person knows about me. Sometimes, I would say something about my life and my mother would look at me and make me feel embarrassed for being so open. I would start to feel more self-conscious in front of people because I thought they were judging for something I said weeks ago. I think children need to figure out what they should and shouldn’t say on their own… there is such a rush to grow up, especially in Manhattan Beach. Everyone strives for their children to be called “mature” and “wise.” People don’t let children be children anymore. Though parents don’t want to their children to get hurt, pain is inevitable, and it’s important to let children be careless and learn while they still can. I love how your poem really showed the difference between parents and children: kids don’t care about the sharp sticks because they haven’t learned that they can hurt them yet; parents care because they already know the damage they cause. It’s so important to allow children to be children and be free because sooner or later, they are going to grow up and be another adult.
ReplyDeleteMy parents have always been fairly hands off with me. I played in parks far away from my babysitter and have always been uncomfortable telling them much about my social life. But where this does resonate is the relationship I have with my siblings. My sister gave me a whole heap of incites on how to succeed in middle school. She warned me not to sit on the stairs, for example, because that happened to be where all of the nerdy kids in her class sat. But when I got there the first day, all of my friends decided the stairs would be a logical place to wait for the bell. Considering my sister’s advice to be gospel, I avoided them every morning. Soon they weren’t my friends when I really wanted them to be. It’s funny how we try to look out for people and give advice when our personal experience with something like where to wait for the bell would naturally be entirely different than someone experiencing it three years later. My sister had the best of intentions by telling my this, because she had gone through it before, but it would have turned out far better for me to enter that situation with no preconceived notions so I could learn naturally. I catch myself all the time now giving similar advice to my brother in regards to high school. I try to realize that I’m only able to understand these things because I was hurt by them myself. I hope that when I am a parent, I am able to maneuver the blurry line of keeping my children safe and allowing them to learn how to keep themselves safe.
ReplyDeleteIt's no easy dance, figuring out when to be a guide-post, and when to just sit back and be a pair of eyes at the ready. Often, if you are doing well with yourself, people in your life will ask you for guidance and insight when they are ready to hear it ... not that you asked :) But maybe that'll help you dancing with your brother.
DeleteThis poem is very relatable for me at this point in my life because I am about to graduate high school and leave for college soon. The message of the poem seems to be that parents need to let their children grow up on their own, and in order to do so, they need to experience pain and the difficult parts of life without being shielded. By experiencing suffering, people can appreciate the good parts of life even more because they realize how special the good parts are. As my family and I are nearing the end of me living with them and leaving to go live my own life in the real world, all of us are realizing the importance of independence and learning to be your own person who is responsible for your actions. As I am gaining my freedom, I do not think that I will truly understand what it feels like until I leave my home and begin my new journey by myself. This will allow me to own my freedom, as the speaker says, and learn from my own experiences and mistakes. The collage is really beautiful as it is filled with colors and a variety of overlapping images. To me, it represents the beauty of life and how all of our memories and experiences blend together to form our life story. On one half of the college is a father holding his son’s hand as he walks him to the water for what seems to be the first time. The boy cannot understand the amazingness and scariness of the water until he experiences it for himself, and his father can only help with so much.
ReplyDeleteInnocence is such a unanimously felt concept of love and hate. The world functions because people grow up, learn from their mistakes, and see all of the dark and scary parts of the world. That being said, if the world could work with people always seeing the good in others then then the world would be a better place it’s just not attainable. We all know that. This poem brings to life the dichotomy between parents and their children. There is so much fear and worry and stress that fills the mind’s of the mother or the father, while there is so much excitement, eagerness and curiosity festering in the minds of the youth. This poem’s collage shows just those two mentalities. There are moments of stress and worry and danger which illustrate the mind of the parents while there is also so much color and new life experience depicted representing the wonder that every child feels. Additionally, I feel that the take on the two sides of the parents is real and interesting. One being that they want to protect their child and worry about everything they do, while the other is excited for their kid to see the world, experience new things, and learn from it all. Every person who grows up has had countless learning moments in their life which shape us into the person we are today. Contradicting all of these ideas, the ending of the poem highlights the elderly’s perspective and how life changes us, making us weathered, tired and as life unravels, things won’t always be the same. Dealing with hard things causes a change in perspective, in understanding, and in how we go about life. Although it's hard and scary to deal with, moments of trials make us stronger and are ultimately good for us. After living through such things it can be difficult to watch others go through the same struggles yet it is so important to do just that. We need to help others grow and learn and sometimes, letting someone fail, in a kind way is important.
ReplyDelete