“Fresh” out of a relationship,
a day or two,
You still have the echoing feeling
That someone will kiss you soon.
But then, you're not “fresh”
anymore.
Distinct from single, stable;
nor loved and bright.
“Don't tell me to get some sleep—
I've been singing that song all night.”
Thinned (but not hungry). Restless and
low.
“Fresh,” you can still taste those
words,
“I love you”—
But then nothing's by you,
and all seems above you.
"She texted “I miss you” again tonight. Probably the eighth time or so. They strike me differently each time: in the beginning, I just felt guilty, sorry for making her feel that way. And next I wanted to say it back, just to have a pair of arms around me again. And now, I just sort of feel like saying, 'I understand.'
ReplyDeleteI miss her too. Her head on my lap, her kisses on my neck, her affectionate love and adoration. I do have faith that I'll find my footing again, that I'll re-learn how to love myself when no one else is radiating care across my skin. But as for right now, this phase, I am very delicate and mercurial—a surprise even to myself, most days. And how am I still hungry? Why am I still up?"
– 25 October 2015, 1:01 AM
Post-breakup is a common song genre, and each song conveys different emotions: sorrow, vengeance, bleakness, or often a combination of the three. The spacing of this poem is interesting; it is non-linear, curving and leaving spaces in the middle, seemingly without a pattern. This reflects how the speaker is disoriented and sad after his breakup, and feels far from “fresh” despite being “fresh” out of a relationship; he feels the remnants of his previous relationship and is stressed that it has ended. I know this feeling is universal after a breakup, and you captured it well. I liked the last lines, “But then nothing's by you, and all seems above you” because it accurately shows the self-deprecation and feeling of unworthiness that occurs after being broken up with.
ReplyDeleteThe "random" seeming shape is supposed to be the silhouette of a bread loaf (looks to me like a pan bread: banana or zucchini, maybe). It's not my greatest word-sculpture ;)
DeleteThis poem is obviously describing the refractory period following the separation between two people who were together romantically. It describes the middle ground one finds himself in following a separation. That person is not romantically taken but he or she is not single either, due to the recent involvement with another significant partner. The speaker then uses pairs of word to describe the strange situation that the recently separated individual finds himself in. The pairs “Thinned (but not hungry)” and “Restless and low” are used to express the fatigue that the speaker finds himself in due to his broken romantic relationship, but also the tingling sensation that causes him to think of future potential partners. However, the speaker mainly focuses on his sense of sadness after losing his partner, as described by his sensation after realizing his “I Love You” has not been reciprocated, leading to his acceptance that he is now alone.
ReplyDeleteThe accompanying picture shows a picture of bread with a face edited onto it. This serves as a mean to personify the bread as a living person. Based on the title, the bread shown is day-old bread which can be related to the a person fresh out of relationship: not rotten but not desirable by others either.
This poem struck me because unlike most breakup poetry that focuses either on the speaker’s internal strife or their former partner’s, this poem addressed society’s unknowing influence on a person after getting out of a relationship. The described “freshness” of being free from the weight of another person struck me; when I experienced this type of liberation, I couldn’t stop laughing or tearing up in my relief that it was over. This exuberance was cheered on by my friends, and I still beam at how good I felt. With the freshness worn off, the author goes on to detail the unpleasant feelings of the acceptance of loneliness and formerly unneeded self-reliance that must regrow at the beginning of a separation. My discussions at sleepovers and at lunch unflinchingly centered around dating, and while at the beginning the “freshness” kept me immune, its staleness was at first painful as I was reintroduced to the “restless and low.” Additionally, I liked how this poem’s resolution reminded the reader of the complacent despair that the speaker continues to feel. While there’s nothing to be done about the loneliness that the speaker experiences, his anguish keeps him unable to heal fully.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Well-read.
DeleteSo, I bake bread. Instant yeast bread, pretty much whatever kinds I feel like I want to make, but mostly sourdough bread (from a starter). The image of bread is really spot on in terms of capturing the feeling of getting out of a relationship. When bread is at its complete freshest, hot out of the oven, you aren’t supposed to cut it or eat it yet. It still needs time to cook, almost like how when you immediately get out of a relationship, it’s like you still haven’t quite realized it yet, your insides are still kind of raw, and you can’t open up yet.
ReplyDeleteThen when the bread is finished cooling down, it’s delicious, and for a little while, it’s my favorite thing in the world. I saw someone else comment (Ally Kennedy on March 17, 2019?) that when you immediately get out of a relationship you feel light, and have the support of all the people around you, and don’t really have as much of a desire to get back into the relationship. While I haven’t ever really experienced this feeling myself, I can imagine it feels like a huge relief when you get out of a toxic situation. I can kind of relate though to the feeling when a year of school ends. The first week, you feel free from all your responsibilities and having to sit and wait through classes when you really just want to go home and sleep, or be doing anything else. Although to be fair I’m kind of weird in that I really enjoy school most of the time, even I feel the weight off when you complete school.
After a day or so with delicious fresh bread, the bread gets stale. You start feeling the loneliness, the lack of routine, you even start missing the things that you hated. It can still be used for other recipes, like French Toast, or bread pudding, or dishes with eggs like the one shown in the collage, but it won’t ever really be good just as bread again. Kind of like how in a relationship, you get past the point where you feel free, and get into a weird space where you don’t know if you miss the relationship, but you miss being in one. It feels like you will never be able to be in a relationship again unless it is the relationship you just left.
I bake sourdough bread, and the REALLY interesting thing is what makes the bread… bread?.. is the yeast starter, which is replenished when you add more flour. The bread is simply a byproduct of the yeast starter, and no matter how stale each slice of bread becomes, you can always bake more. I usually don’t bake another loaf of bread until the last one is gone though, kind of like how you should probably adjust to not being in a relationship with someone before entering into a new relationship. The thing with relationships, if you follow the metaphor, the relationship is the bread. Your capacity to love is the yeast. Even though the bread might be stale, the yeast is alive and waiting to be fed again. I don’t know. I really liked the poem!! I like how the words were shaped like a bread loaf! - Clairette L.
Your enthusiasm for bread is palpable ~ it reminds me of Bubba from the movie Forrest Gump, waxing poetic about all the different ways you can prepare shrimp ... bread seems to bring a comparable level of sparkle to your spirit.
DeleteI never thought to deconstruct the bread metaphor ~ but I'm willing to roll with it. The yeast of love... I like the vision of that :)