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[A cautionary tale. ]
This is like the sound inside:
[all] to a point: “Stick it in.”
Pull, rend, score, dig, beat,
claw – “No!” Suck a
breath. Give it back hot. Laugh.
[nothing] Huff. Roll eyes right, up.
Swallow.
“You're weak.” Shame. “Poor me.”
Stupid.
“No.” hate. Fault. Crack a neck
joint.
Apologize. Shake head. Blink.
[just] Roll eyes left. Wrist crack.
Hungry. Lick lips. No,
Thirsty. Have to pee.
Laugh at the design.
[new] Air. Hair moves, tree
moves. Sign creaks, hinged
on a traffic light bough.
Could fall.
[old] Won't. As with me, as with trees,
some
flex tips a sign toward enduring.
“Could do with
[too far] Some oil, though.” Lord, I
think sometimes elegant,
useful truths. Still I am too
stiff; I do not bring oil. I am
[& all] such a waste of me. Stick
it in.
"Bu-dum-bum-bum, feelin' groooovy" ...
ReplyDeleteJust to let you know that I'm feeling fine.
But doesn't your brain, tickled into a circle,
vacillate like this sometimes?
"A cautionary tale," this tries to be useful by trying to explain [in brackets] WHERE the mind is vacillating to-and-from: trying to think of everything (which drives us nuts because it leads us to focus on some minute point as though it wwwere everything), then getting angry at yourself for driving yourself nuts, then catching the impulse to blame it on the rest of the world, then feeling bad about that and apologizing inside. Then You just settle down and think about what is ("just / new"). And that is pleasant - but as some point, you start applying your past experiences to that reality (young wisdom - not in itself a problem ... but that it is hyper, and so) and over-reaching and severely judging and making discontentment of what should feel like peace.
So, to the hyper-thinkers, next time you go nuts ... think about which classes of thoughts evoke which feelings - and trace them back to sanity. There's too much simple, immediate beauty in this moment: don't let let the overwhelming unseen steal your senses.
A cautionary tale :)