“A Hint of
the Barrel”
– 18 January 2012
What goes into death?
Everything but breath:
Every bone and oil,
Every muscled coil,
Every tendon drawn,
Every fusion bond
On every jigsaw plate
Of every skully crate
Around every liquid crib
Over every neural web,
and every rounding rib
(affixed, to flow and ebb
with every sudden start
and quiver of the heart),
and every bend of skin,
and every cilium-pin,
and every hairy trail,
and every milky nail
that crowns a finger tip
or caps a calloused toe,
and every pit and bow
of every limb and lip
and ridge and flap and dip
that used to send a spark
back inward to the dark
through trellised ganglia
to something – less of a
part in us beasts than air –
left traceless in the stare
of eyes death came to find.
Does it ever taste the mind?
Online Dating – Poems of the Week:
(16 April 2012)
"Red Flags"
Her profile says, "I believe in
strength
In the face of adversity" -
Which means she thinks that her life is
hard
and cruel consistently.
And if I said back, "You're fine,"
she'd think,
(he doesn't know my pain).
For admitting, somewhere, her world is
bright
Means her paradigm's in vain.
(30 April 2012)
"At the Other End"
Roommate broke up with his girlfriend yesterday,
Went into his room and started to play
"Chariot," like now he had the time to be
Here with his musicality.
But he'd played that song so many times before
He met her, and it had always sounded more
Half-lunged than it did as he howled it now:
"Oh Chariot, I'm singing out loud..."
He comes home, every day now, tells me about
His life: how it's good, unhitched, “No doubt,”
He says, “it was the right move,” but –
Still, sings: "Give me your strength, Oh chariot."
Roommate broke up with his girlfriend yesterday,
Went into his room and started to play
"Chariot," like now he had the time to be
Here with his musicality.
But he'd played that song so many times before
He met her, and it had always sounded more
Half-lunged than it did as he howled it now:
"Oh Chariot, I'm singing out loud..."
He comes home, every day now, tells me about
His life: how it's good, unhitched, “No doubt,”
He says, “it was the right move,” but –
Still, sings: "Give me your strength, Oh chariot."
(7 May 2012)
"Self-reporting"
I always drive at the speed that the
freeway
SHOULD be.
And I never complain unless someone
is doing things wrong.
I've never been dumped
(if I was – she was wrong for me).
And I'll always make sense,
provided you can follow along.
I'm sensitive, and clever, and a man –
a manly man – so
I'll tell you to "buck up"
when you need
a shoulder to pour on.
And that's what any sensible woman
would want. No?
You're totally gonna love me,
unless you're a moron.
I don't understand why more girls
don't write back to me
When I tell them that I'm so awesome
and then say "U so hot."
Am I hidden, like a god, by my
incomprehensibility?
Or do they see (much more than me)
all the things that I am not?
“Hold”
(a song)
– 11 March 2012
You're gonna die some day.
That link will break away.
So while you're down on the ground,
here …
Hold someone.
My one-trick dog knows “stay” –
Quivers in his house for days.
But if I sit on the lawn, humming
softly …
He'll come out and play.
The girl downtown thinks coffee makes
time
& swallows her food whole when she
dines.
But when she sits by the pier watching
ships crawl, …
Her breath starts to unwind.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
The booth boy at the carnival goes
To the gym each night and sweats
through his clothes
dreaming all that cotton candy melts
away from him …
As he grabs that bar and rows.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
She ignores it as the sun falls, but
then
The Ferris wheel's too bright not to
win.
So he hands her a ticket, “Angels
free.” She thinks …
(nice arms). My God, amen.
You're gonna die some day.
That link will break away.
So while you're down on the ground,
here …
Hold someone – hold someone.
“Eaten”
(Maurice Sendak spur)
– 8 May 2012
Found it.
In the kitchen, like
It was supposed to be –
Eaten.
But mother said that
Such things meant aches for me.
Still I
Couldn't help but touch
The leaf or spider or –
Ink stain,
Small and beautiful.
I knew what it was for.
Cherish
Even food, they say.
For all joys are born to –
Perish:
fading, scattering,
Tickling young boys' tongues(
You do).
JK's most commonly used Principles:
– 23 May 2012
*
See a need; fill a need.
Leave it as good as you
found it.
(Everything else is extra
credit.
But if you move a piece of trash, consider it yours.)
But if you move a piece of trash, consider it yours.)
Everybody dies.
(This, my antidote to
embarrassment.)
Say 'thank you'; show
'sorry.'
Everything
is fuel.
(For
un-clinging to things.
A
distillation of William Blake's “Ride your cart & your plow
over the bones of the dead.”)
Why
walk when you can run?
My
life is a balance of excesses.
You
can learn something from everyone.
Better
a dog than a devil.
Make
all decisions from your deathbed.
Unless
we are discontented, we will never change.
*
To me, the poem "At the Other End" created a message stating that even if something is going wrong in one’s life, there is always an escape, something that a person can delve into in order to release their pain. In this case, a man recently “broke up with his girlfriend yesterday” (Line 1) and although he always says to his roommate that “‘it was the right move,’” (Line 11) to me it seemed like he still was not totally accepting of the break up since “he'd played that song so many times before/
ReplyDeleteHe met her, and it had always sounded more/ Half-lunged than it did as he howled it now” (Lines 5-7). The fact that the roommate who went through this “traumatizing” experience sang the song more richly, seems to me that he is trying to mask his sadness by focusing more on his singing than the breakup. He constantly tells his roommate that he is okay and that this happened for the best, but the readers can see that this is not true since he “Still, sings: ‘Give me your strength, Oh chariot’” (Line 12). Although it seems like the reader might be strong by not focusing on the breakup, I think that he is actually very weak and trying to find his strength through the song, hence the quote. I connected the heartbroken boyfriend with a songwriter or singer since they both may take out their emotions by singing. Also, after the breakup he sings “Oh chariot, I’m singing out loud…” (Line 8). The words like “singing out loud” gives the allusion that he is crying out for help through this song. Again, presenting the idea that the song is reflecting the heartbroken roommate. The periods at the end of this quote seem like nobody is answering him, maybe reflecting his present feeling, like nobody can help him. I really enjoyed the simpleness of the poem, and the flow that it created while reading since there is little punctuation. Because of this it gave the poem a nice flow, which to me reflected the lonely point of view through the monotonous tone from the sad roommate. Lastly, the rhyming scheme is AABBCCDDEEFG. The pattern is all the same throughout the poem, but the last two lines are not rhyming. To me, this reflected the roommates emotions and that nothing is really falling into place after his breakup. To him, it feels like his whole world is falling apart.
Well, he's in a happier relationship now, so you don't have to worry about him too much -- he made it out all right.
DeleteI think I'm gonna have to call you on this sentence, Cate: "there is little punctuation. Because of this it gave the poem a nice flow, which to me reflected the lonely point of view through the monotonous tone from the sad roommate" ...
{little punctuation} --> {nice flow} --> {sad, lonely monotony}? ...
and one might argue that 5 commas, 3 colons, 2 periods, and 1 ellipsis over three sentences is more than a little punctuation. But well-read, otherwise.
Oh, and the last two lines are a subtle rhyme -- intended to shape the reader's emphasis of an otherwise unstressed syllable:
"He says, ... , BUT –
Still, sings: ... , Oh chari-UT. "
The message that I received from the poem “Hold” was that everyone should take advantage of life in every way possible, as we all have a limited time on earth and should spend our time doing the things we love and enjoy. Each stanza describes a different person in a different situation. To me, the person in each situation was doing what he/she feels he is expected to do, instead of what he actually takes pleasure in doing. The dog described in the second stanza “quivers” from the owner’s commands, but enjoys his humming. Because he is a “one-trick” dog, staying is all he knows how to do and thinks it is what the owner expects of him. What he really enjoys is playing with the owner, which directly goes against his one trick, revealing how the things that make him happy go against what he feels he is expected to be doing. Also, he will only come out when the owner is humming, demonstrating how hard it is for him to allow himself to do what he really wants. In the third stanza, the girl described is obviously very busy, and does not even take enough time for necessary everyday activities, like eating a meal and sleep, as she “thinks coffee makes time”. Despite all of this, one of the things she enjoys most is the peace she receives from sitting and watching. Even though the images in the first two lines of the third stanza characterize her by her activeness, calm and relaxation are the things that give her joy in life. Similarly, the boy at the carnival is not taking what he wants. He desires the “cotton candy”, yet forces himself to exercise instead of indulging himself. Ultimately the “cotton candy melts away” and it is too late for him to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, for he has restrained himself from them for too long. The opening and closing lines of the poem are repeated, which reveal their importance to me. These four lines shared the message that everyone must take the time to enjoy what they like, and to not solely do what they feel they are expected to. Because life is so short, it is important to take a break once in a while to indulge and love life, and be with the people and things that you love, revealed by the line “So while you’re down on the ground, here .../ Hold someone”.
ReplyDeleteYou can't just skip a stanza in your analysis!!!
Delete"She ignores it as the sun falls, but then / The Ferris wheel's too bright not to win./ So he hands her a ticket, “Angels free.” She thinks / (nice arms). My God, amen."
That's the happy part! The BEST part!! Be happy!!! (Oh, and cotton candy is not worth going back to childhood for -- that stuff is NOT as good as I once remembered.)
“A Hint of the Barrel”, January 2012, October 7, 2014
ReplyDeleteI know you told us not to do this, but I really enjoyed this poem. The title was slightly confusing, probably a result of my ignorance, but to me it either was referencing a “barrel of whiskey or a barrel of a gun.” Rhythm of the poem was arranged in a seemingly terse rhyme, probably representative of impending death, either way the way it was structured made me feel as though my mortal career was about to be terminated. It would seem that whoever wrote this, had a fair command of anatomy. The rhyme I didn’t feel was in any particular order. Often, it ranged from ABBA or ABAB, in that sense, it mimicked a potential confusion regarding mortality itself? The ending I thought was particularly interesting, as he is describing such detailed sensory perceptions he ends it with a remark questioning whether the brain was sufficiently cognizant of these physical sensations. It should also be noted that many of the descriptors the poet uses are quite gruesome, as one would would expect. In addition, the poems composition is heavily monosyllabic, which again could connote an expedient end.
1) Don't worry, dude - everybody's doing it ;)
Delete2) I meant both (the wine barrel that leaks essence in; the gun barrel that takes essence out)
3) wikipedia will do a lot for your anatomical knowledge
4) nobody died in the writing of this poem
I believe that people constantly go through events that eventually change their perspective regarding specific things in their lives. Whether that thing is a song or a place, actions are continuously shaping the view one has of that thing by adding different elements. For example, my view of the song “Chariot” completely changed after reading “At the Other End”. I love the song and have heard it many times, but it was not until after I read the poem that I played the song and really listened to the words. I loved the sound and the emotion behind the way it was played, but I never took the time to let the words sink in (a sin, I know…). I feel like the roommate in the poem went through the same thing. He had “played that song so many times before / he met her, and it had always sounded more / half-lunged than it did as he howled it now.” Now that he has gone through a breakup, the song has a new significance. At first it was just a song he enjoyed and casually played. He knew the words, but maybe they did not sink in. After the breakup, the song becomes a release for everything he is feeling. He desires an outlet where he can gather the ability to let go and move on. I think that outlet is presented to him when he sings the words “give me your strength, Oh chariot.” The song symbolizes the strength that he wants to gain, but it also symbolizes what he once had. He sang the song all the time when he was dating the girl and when he sings it now, it still comes out with the attached memory of what it meant before. I am sort of cheating because this part from the song is not in the poem, but at one point in the song the lyrics include “cover me from bringing back more than a memory.” This may be why he is having a hard time moving on. His view of the song has completely shifted and it now includes the feelings and memories he had before and everything that goes along with the situation he is currently in. He says that “it was the right move” and it probably was. But he also says that his life is good and I think if that was true, then he would not be pouring his heart out the way he does now when he sings the song. I do not think the main point was that he found an outlet. I think the central focus is the idea that the song became an outlet because what he went through transformed his perspective of the song into something more meaningful.
ReplyDeleteIt's the rare song that's really worth listening to as poetry (but I'm picky)
DeleteI agree :) Since songs like this are rare...do you have any recommendations for songs worth listening to as poetry?
Delete"Kathy's Song" -- Simon&Garfunkel
Delete"Señorita With A Necklace Of Tears" -- Paul Simon
"That Time" -- Regina Spektor
"Naked if I Want to" -- Cat Power
"Be Yourself" -- Audioslave
I think that's a good mix ... you can add to it from there (make it your own)
“Red Flags,” to me, is a powerful statement, a complex idea explained in a straightforward manner through a mere eight lines. It puts into perspective the concept that people are not always what they seem, and that there are individuals out there who feel the need to constantly be fighting -- or at least think that they are fighting -- some abstract force in order to be content, to have something to do with their lives, to feel important.
ReplyDeleteThe anonymous woman has posted on her profile saying “I believe in strength / In the face of adversity“ (1-2), but the two lines that follow seem to invalidate her statement, the speaker believing that “she thinks that her life is hard / and cruel consistently” (3-4). This, in my mind, is indicating a sense of skepticism in the speaker who is viewing her post. Through using the word “thinks,” the speaker turns her statement into a matter of perception rather than fact; she “thinks” her life is difficult, but it may not necessarily be difficult. “Consistently” also connotes a sense of familiarity; her belief that her life is hard is not a new one, but one that she has held for a considerable amount of time. The speaker then contemplates what would happen “if [he] said back, ‘You’re fine’” (5), to which “she’d think, / (he doesn’t know my pain)” (5-6). The use of parentheses around the line that expresses her thoughts signifies a quietness, that “(he doesn’t know my pain)” is what she thinks to herself every time someone tries to tell her, “You’re fine.” Through these two lines, the speaker is assuming that regardless of whatever he may try to say to either make her feel better or convince her that she is wrong in her views, she is going to doubt him. The speaker then continues by interpreting this potential response of hers by claiming that “For admitting, somewhere, her world is bright / Means that her paradigm’s in vain” (7-8). She refuses to even contemplate the possibility that her life is not as much of a hardship as she thinks it is, because then she would have nothing to fight. She needs something to continually try to overcome in order to be satisfied, and is not happy when there is nothing to prevent her from being happy. When she feels that she is not upset, she cannot be happy, because she must have something to keep her from being happy in order to feel that she has a purpose.
Furthermore, the title of the poem is almost a warning of sorts -- people like this woman should raise red flags, because in the speaker’s mind, they may not necessarily have the ability to enjoy life as it is presented to them, instead deciding to wallow in self-inflicted misery.
The rhyme scheme of this poem -- A B C B D E F E -- provides a slow and steady rhythm, and this along with the pauses created by the dash, periods, and comma allow for emphasis on each individual concept presented in this poem; in a way, the ideas are almost able to marinate inside one’s mind, more and more meaning coming out of the poem the longer one thinks about it.
Whether or not this particular individual’s struggle with her life is legitimate may be unknown, but in my opinion, this poem is more of a generalization; there are people out there who claim to be suffering in order to either receive attention or to satisfy themselves -- or both. There are those who suffer simply for the sake of suffering, only to be able to say that they are suffering. There is no doubt in my mind that there are individuals who genuinely are suffering and who do “believe in strength / In the face of adversity,” but in my interpretation of this poem, I feel that the speaker believes that those who actually suffer would not publicize it.
Yup.
Delete(What does a brain-marinated poem look like?)
Like yours!
DeleteIn the poem “Red Flags” about online dating, I definitely was intrigued. I realized that the theme of this poem discusses how we all think we are struck with bad luck and have a hard life. This sense of entitlement that we have and need to make others believe we are always a “victim” definitely frustrates me. “Adversity” is faced by all and just because one person is going through some obstacle in life does not mean their hardship is greater than any other’s. The title “Red Flags” is a double entendre as it literally signifies the warning signs associated with using online dating websites but also metaphorically signifies the rise of victimizing ourselves in society. There is a lack of hope all throughout the poem as even the ending is pessimistic, stating that any proclamation of optimism contradicts her desire to feel unlucky in life. I, personally, agree with this poem’s message but I also believe that it generalizes our society too much as outliers will always exist.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how a poem about 2 lines on one woman's profile could possibly be "generalizing our society too much" ... one person's about the smallest sample size you can take. :)
DeleteAlso, URBAN DICTIONARY.COM -------> "Red Flag"
" a sign or warning of any impending danger, disaster or doom
when my gf called me up that day and gave me the "we need to talk" line, a red flag obviously came up and I figured I'd soon be on the outs with her. "
Does no one use that term in y'all's generation? Your the second poster who was not familiar with it... hmm.
Your poem “A Hint of the Barrel” caught my attention. It seems to call into question what happens to a person after death. The use of rhythm and rhyme scheme set a very methodical tone to the scientific process we know which follows the death of a human. “Every bone and oil,/ Every muscled coil” depicts the grotesque imagery of rigor mortis, and again, the physical appearance of death. The poem goes on to say that something “used to send a spark back inward to the dark” which adds to the detached connotation of mind and body as the word “spark” is generally associated with a piece of machinery. The imagery of something “left traceless in the stare” also suggests that something, like a soul, is missing and begs the question of where that spark and energy of life goes after death. The poem ends with a question: “Does it ever taste the mind?”. This use of syntax through an interrogative sentence both starts and concludes the poem giving the structure a complete cycle like a life cycle. These lines also go unanswered like the mystery of the beginning of life and the mystery after death. The final line brings up the possibility that a soul lives on and remains untouched, or untasted, by death.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading Mary Roach's book "SPOOK: Science tackles the afterlife," I felt a growing sense of worry that perhaps when I died, it would simply be a blackout of consciousness, will all of my growth and development dropping back to the starting line as if it never existed -- its echoes left only in those who remembered me.
DeleteBut then I was talking with my piano teacher about her granddaughter, who -- one occasionally hears stories like this -- was in Hawaii for vacation at 4 and started telling them about what would be ahead on the path they were hiking (a path she had never been on before): a turn and a field off to the left, and the story of a little boy who had died there, falling off a cliff. And then at one point, she turned suddenly, arms out at the horizon and cried out, "My ocean! My Ocean."
Now, my piano teacher is a Christian woman, not a cultural believer in reincarnation, but she is open-minded. And when I think of that term, "Open-minded," it gives me hope in this way: when we die, all of our mechanical parts (as listed in the poem above) sink and disperse and are reabsorbed by other living things and tactile objects; our energy, too, must go away and -- I'm beginning to think -- into other things: a new young child (or another animal, or maybe a bit into each) where it is then gradually absorbed to become part of that new life's energy. Somewhere down deep in the base, where all spirits are the same matter.
And that feels fair to me -- a balance between transience and immortality -- that both our cells and our energy spread out and recollect every time we die, into other lives, each one made of something old and shared; far greater than themselves. There is a beauty, a fairness, a poetry in that.
The first two lines of "Self-Reporting" immediately captured me, and as I read on I was struck as the speakers arrogance transformed from something that bothered me, to something that made me sympathize for him. By the emphasis placed on the word “SHOULD” (2) it illustrates that all of the claims the speaker makes about himself, that he has “never been dumped” (5) and he will “always make sense, / provided you can follow along” (7-8) are because he is trying to portray a person he feels he should be. A person he feels others expect him to be. From the very beginning you can almost tell the speaker is putting on a facade aligning with who he wants to be, but someone he is not. While the first two stanzas focus on allowing him to portray this person he would like to be, you see a subtle transformation in the third stanza. When he says “I don’t understand why more girls / don’t write back to me”, (17-18) I sense a genuine sadness in his tone. It is as if in the first two stanzas he is trying to convince himself that he is the person more than he tries to convince anyone else. This change in tone is developed further, when “incomprehensibility” (22) stands alone. In context, it displays his sense of realization that his inability to comprehend the fact that others do not want him to be this person he thinks he should be. While the word standing on the stanza alone demonstrates the effect that his incomprehensibility is the reason he struggles to find a companion and is alone. The last line is really where you fully see his true self and insecurities come through. For the first time he recognizes other’s ability to see a different side to him, and by default admitting he is not exactly the person he has tried to portray in the first two stanzas. He ends on the word “not” and by doing so leaves the word as the last thing on your mind, further emphasizing he is not the person he is trying to portray.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever venture into the world of online dating, Rachel, you WILL see these men (and they will, most likely write to you). So just remember that sympathy when you write back -- it may do more to wake them up than what they usually get (which is responses like "You're a pig" or "fuck off, asshole" ... which only presses them deeper into their ego-protecting self-image).
DeleteI've often wondered, if women responded with questions, like, "How do you think this makes me feel -- as a person who is, like you, so much more than just a fit body?" ... if any of those men might come to see themselves as they really are. That would be a great service to their future dates and to the world in general.
“Self Reporting”, May 2012, October 14, 2014
ReplyDeleteCorrect me if I’m wrong, but “Self Reporting” did not seem to have any defined structure, a few near rhymes, some lines in iambic pentameter, but I don’t necessarily think that was intentional. In my most humble opinion, the poem exemplified the stereotypical, arrogant “dude” that sees no fault within himself. In the first line, it says he drives at the speed the freeway “SHOULD be”.
(Nice use of capitalization) In other words, this man, or boy, is decently self-involved as he operates by his own moral standard, which in this individual’s case, makes the most sense. Everyone has their own version of reality. This poem, I guess one could say, “spoke to me” in the sense that it made evaluate some of my many egocentricities. Yet, it should be noted that as he is constantly praising himself, (commenting on his looks, mannerisms, talent, etc.) he laments his inability to find a true companion. He asks, “Or do they see all the things I am not.” His self aggrandizement on this level was pure posturing, for there is stark disparity between the deep, masculine man he purports to be, and the shallow “tool” he actually is. Again, I appreciated the social commentary on the all too common-place dilemma.
What might those egocentricities BE, Mr. Hands?
DeleteGiving name to one's excesses is the first step to gaining control over them.
Regarding your question, the poem actually has a very well-defined structure: each line is enjambed, to guide the reader's tempo, but if you took out those enjambements, then the poem has three 4-line stanzas, rhyming ABAB CDCD EFEF (be-me, wrong-along ... pretty strong rhyming) with 5 major stresses per line --
EXAMPLE:
I've NEver been DUMPED / (if I WAS – she was WRONG for ME).
And I'll ALways make SENSE, / proVIDed you can FOLLow alONG.
I suppose you live and you learn good sir......
Deleteme*
ReplyDelete"At the Other End", April 2012, October 15, 2014
ReplyDeleteAfter first reading this poem, the repeated word “Chariot” stood out to me. I re-read it, trying to find the complexity in the word because the poem seemed to revolve around its meaning as well as the fact that the word itself appeared in each stanza exactly once. Literally speaking, a chariot is similar to a carriage, in that it is “a two-wheeled horse drawn vehicle used in ancient warfare and racing.” It is commonly associated with ancient Roman times, and this is what I instinctively referred to first. I feel like you choose to use this word to illustrate that even though he has just been left by his girlfriend, he is going to internalize his feelings, and get back on his “high-horse” and move forward. Then in the second stanza, it seems like he is trying to ignore the pain by blocking it all out with the noise and by “howling” the song as loud as he can. As the poem continues into the third stanza, it seems like he is still ignoring it all. This becomes evident in the quotations that are used throughout these last few lines, such as “no doubt,” and “it was the right move.” These convey the fact that he is pretending everything is okay by repeatedly telling himself and those around him that. Then finally, in the last line, which is my favorite, I love how the narrator says yet he still keeps on repeating “give me your strength, oh Chariot.” I like this because of how it begins and ends with the Chariot, however, I also dislike it, because the whole time, I assumed that he would eventually confront his feelings, yet this line proves that by the poem’s end, he still is completely ignoring them.
"Chariot" is a song, by Gavin Degraw.
DeleteI read “Red Flags” because it was the shortest poem and I prefer less words with more meaning to more words with less meaning. This does not mean the other poems do not have more words with more meaning, it is just reflective of my short attention span. The punctuation divides the poem into 3 sentences, so I will divide my analysis to match. The first sentence has multilayered speakers. It starts with “Her profile says”, but changes to “I believe”, and then changes again to “she thinks”. “Her profile says” begins the sentence as an impartial fact, but “I believe” and “she thinks” branch the sentence into 2 interpretations of the same quote, “I believe in strength in the face of adversity”. While the woman reads her profile to mean she values tenacity when faced with opposition, the man reading her profile sees the quote as the woman’s view of her own efforts. This makes the quote highly egotistical, as the woman states she values the trait she believes herself to be exhibiting. The man explains this by saying “she thinks that her life is hard and cruel consistently” which I interpreted as the woman is proud of herself for overcoming difficult obstacles. The second sentence reveals that the man does not consider the woman’s life hard, and if he were to express this to the woman, she would think, “(he doesn’t know my pain)”. I am completely on the side of the man in this poem. I found it humorous that the woman considers herself to be feeling pain, but when the man consoles her by saying, “You’re fine”, she takes it as an insult and disregards him as incapable of comprehending her suffering. She seems to be wallowing in self-pity, and I imagine her as whining. She is crying out to the world, and when she elicits a response, which is the only reason she is whining, she denies its comfort by dismissing it as beneath her. This leads her to feel alone and to more pain. She is the cause of her pain, as she cyclically asks for, then denies comfort. This ties in to the poem’s title, “Red Flag” because it shows a fault in her character that many men find and dislike in women. The red flag is the woman’s want to be victimized and rejection of condolences. In a relationship, which connects to the poem if the profile is inferred to be on a dating site, the woman’s behavior would be destructive, leading only to her feeling more pain. However, the woman needs a man to respond to her statement because it allows her to blame her pain on an uncontrollable force, rather than herself. It is easy for the woman to feel accomplished with her life when she believes she is oppressed by men, but if she let herself accept the condolences of the man she would be forced to reconcile with the fact that her accomplishments may not be as impressive under normal conditions. I shouldn’t call the man’s response a condolence, for that implies he meant it to be comforting. The man could also be pointing out the woman’s behavior to her in a state of frustration by attempting to force her to see that she is experiencing no adversity. In the third sentence, the man concludes the reason the woman will not admit she has a life that is anything but one beat-down after another is because that would mean “her paradigm’s in vain”. I took this to mean, the woman’s portrayal of the stalwart efforts of women against oppressive men would be meaningless. I especially enjoyed the use of the word vain as the last word in the poem because of its double meaning. First, it is used to signify the woman’s efforts would be for nothing, but second, and more importantly, it shows the woman’s efforts would have been done to further her selfish wants, or “in vain”. Overall, the poem flowed nicely due to the enjambed lines, and the near rhyme (adversity-consistently) and double meaning of vain kept me interested.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that the word "vain" helped to keep you interested there in that last grueling line #8. You can imagine, as a reader who appreciates brevity, how relieved I was to run across the phrase "in vain" once I got to line 40 of your analysis. Really helped to get me through to the end as well ;-)
Deletetouché
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ReplyDelete“Red Flags”, April 2012, 21 October 2014
ReplyDeleteNow that online dating is becoming a far more relevant topic, the title immediately caught my eye. I felt as though the poem were conveying a rather inhuman and dissociative aspect to this type of dating. One can only wonder what inspired the author to write such a work (sarcasm)! The scheme of the poem itself, in terms of its rhyme scheme, also varied, but showed a consistent ABCB pattern where every other vowel would alternate in a similar fashion. The quote used to describe this supposed girl’s profile was accurately representative of the mundane and petty descriptions I have occasionally heard of. Furthermore, by touching upon the matter as the narrator tries to console her, he notes that it would come of as offensive considering that the nuances in his intention could not be adequately received. As well, I thought by pointing out that once one strips another’s facade, in this case the narrator strips the girl of a cemented plight that carries little weight, it reveals an exposed surface lacking an edge. Boy, this has become pretty amorphous. As for the title of the poem, I thought the “Red Flag’s” themselves indicated a need to be weary of those who are not necessarily genuine and are just seeking the attention. JK, you must have quite a bit of time on your hands, aye?
I'm not great with sarcasm and innuendo -- but I am a relatively open book.
DeleteIf I knew what you meant by "you must have quite a bit of time on your hands," I'd answer.
To analyze you in the same fashion as a potential online date, I would conclude that:
(A) based on your proud use of sarcasm, this is not intended to be a serious question, but rather a playful tease;
(B) by your inappropriate use of the word "sarcasm" (used in reference to a rhetorical question), the phrase "you must have quite a bit of time on your hands" is not likely to be a clever double-entendre implying copious mastrubation; and therefore
(C) you are implying that I have wasted a lot of time familiarizing myself with the world of online dating.
It's a good supplement for meeting people, but by no means the best means. I learned a lot about women -- especially some women's more negative attributes, and tell-tale signs for them (thus the poem) -- from my experiences there. But then I found no lasting relationships there, and met my current girlfriend at a barbecue. Construct from that what judgment you will.
Double Entendre? Me? Sir, I would never dare commit such an atrocity! I am but a naïve High School Boy as you so beautifully articulated!
DeleteThis is why sarcasm is detrimental to interpersonal communication.
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ReplyDeleteYour poem “Red Flags” caught my attention. The title sets the stage for a lesson the speaker has learned which has caused him or her to be weary of certain signs, or red flags, in a situation. The situation appears to be online dating and the speaker has been trying to find a good relationship for awhile. The poem starts off with a very ambiguous statement from a woman’s online dating profile: “I believe in strength/ In the face of adversity”. This is the first red flag for the speaker because the line is empty and rigid. The structure of the poem itself is a single block which helps portrays the lack of sincerity and truth that this woman has put on her profile. The speaker notices from this one line that “she thinks that her life is hard and cruel consistently” and that she tries to create problems for herself so that others will pity her. The woman wants attention and drama in her life to keep it interesting, which, by saying this, suggests that it is currently boring. The speaker ends the poem by saying “For admitting, somewhere, her world is bright/ Means her paradigm’s in vain”. The speaker sees through her falseness and knows that she will not admit that her life is not that bad because that would prove his assumptions about her correct. The woman has created her life around the idea that she is the victim of a cruel world and the speaker wisely chooses to stay away.
ReplyDelete"The structure of the poem itself is a single block which helps portrays[sic.] the lack of sincerity and truth that this woman has put on her profile."
Delete?
I adore the poem “Eaten” because it originally seemed so disjointed and scattered; yet, the poem in its entirety reflects a cohesive and fluid meaning. The poem seems to be from the perspective of a young, impressionable boy. The first line immediately addresses the object, literal or metaphorical, in which the boy has been searching for by stating “found it”. He believes that the object is meant to be eaten or consumed, but he is warned by his mother that “such things meant aches for [him]”(6). It is almost as if the mother is cautioning her son about the dangers of impressions or appearances. Objects, in this case food, that may seem to be harmless or that may radiate desire can end up causing “aches” and pains. In the next stanza, the boy is so tempted by the object, similar to a leaf or spider or ink spot, that he “couldn't help but touch it”(8). Despite his mother’s warnings, the boy is still overcome with curiosity; therefore, he explores the object. Finally, the last stanza illuminates how cherishing “even food”(14) is essential because in the end “all joys are born to perish”(15-16). While the message seems rather pessimistic, I believe that the agenda of this poem is actually uplifting and positive. It proves that objects or enlightenment's that may come with aches are still worth discovering. Without curiosity, bravery and a mild form of rebellion the young boy would never have been able to experience the food tickle on his tongue.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand (or rather I do, but don't agree with) why people see the acknowledgement that things don't last as a "pessimistic" message.
DeleteIf things were forever, what drive would we have to cherish them? Anything eternal is predisposed to being taken for granted. That which ends, conversely, calls out to be experienced while it still exists. We are lucky not to be here forever, if only so that we may live life as such.
I enjoyed reading "At the Other End," partly because I am a Gavin DeGraw fan but mainly because I enjoyed the overall meaning of the poem. I think it is saying that people really do not like change, even if it is for the best. We try to hide our fear of the unknown and put up a brave front, like the roommate is pretending to do by acting like he is happy to have more time to devote to another area of his life. However, our desperation for something constant is highlighted by the need to sing the same song as he did before he was with his girlfriend. When our lives are seemingly falling out beneath us, we look for something constant to hold on to, even if it is something as intangible as a song. The music gives him strength because it offers a form of stability when we are afraid to let go and embrace something new.
ReplyDeleteYes - and I think that those stressful times also revitalize us (think about all the break-ups that get guys to go back to the gym, or to start eating better ... not everyone benefits from sad life events, but everyone CAN take them as spurs for change and personal growth).
DeleteI don't know that music offers stability so much as catharsis: an excuse to let go and belt out words at the top of your lungs ...
I was intrigued by "Red Flags" because the title brings attention to the poem because a red flag is something you are immediately drawn to. I think this poem speaks to the technology that has replaced human interaction, but also the sense of entitlement the generation that mainly uses technology has. This poem comments on the flaws of online dating, and the facades that come with it. An online dating profile becomes almost like a resume for people to describe their qualities. This is not the whole truth, but instead just perceptions of how people see themselves. This idea is emphasized by her thinking her life is hard; when in reality her obstacles are obsolete. The response to her complaining may be that she is “fine”, because she is in a position to use technology to enhance her life. If that is the case then she has no extremely serious issues at hand. This comments on people who complain about things that are not really issues, and those who refuse to admit that there is brightness in their life. Instead of accepting happiness and joy in life, even when things are difficult, they continue to complain. If they accept this reality they are vain because they are complaining about things that are not really issues. Technology has made many aspects of life easier and therefore people should not complain about things that are not crucial.
ReplyDelete“Red Flags” stood out to me seeing how dominant social media has become in the world of love. Social media has become a “simplistic” way to meet others, but ultimately is used to paint people to portray themselves however they please. The girl who “believe in strength
ReplyDeleteIn the face of adversity” is just another duplicated, superficial mindset of the need to paint herself as a “survivor” and strong. The tone varying from slightly judgemental towards the profile, but overall addressing the vain, heartless people who litter online dating websites. The preconceived notion of love and how people fall in love has been quarantined, slowly dying with the fluctuation of social media. Social media takes away the last breath of magic of falling in love by allowing people to “meet” though the barrier of a screen. The selection of “paradigm” to enhance the effect of the robotic social mindset of an obstructed form of self preservation. To “admit, [...] her world is bright / Means her paradigm's in vain”, thus calling out her attempt to portray herself in this light.
This poem's content is not really focused on issues of social media (I don't agree that social media sites somehow collect "vain, heartless people" ... rather that social media hide the warm parts, so that we have to deduce them from hints in their writing).
DeleteOnline dating is not by any means a "'simplistic'" way to meet others -- you still have to meet them in person, and until you've done that, you haven't "met" them at all.
Eaten, 8 May 2014, November 1, 2014
ReplyDeleteLet me start off by saying how depressed I am that this will be our last “analytical” encounter! I didn't necessarily take “eaten” in a pessimistic manner, rather I took it as bluntly explaining the innate and tragic facts of life. Substantively, I wasn’t too sure what was ingested, but one would suppose it could have been some kind of pharmaceutical treating a “fatal” illness, or possibly birth control--Probably not the latter. In any case, the rhyme scheme in the beginning of the poem worked nicely (ABCEFA), as the poem progressed it’s pattern became a tad less discernable but I still noticed near rhyme etc. Freud writes about the oral stage of development--infants sensing the world with their mouths. In this manner, I thought that you were either unconsciously or consciously associating perception with oral stimulation (I’m sure it was conscious). Touch also plays a key role in the work. When he attempts to touch the “leaf, the spider, and even the ink,” it is as if he is exploring the complexities of life(i.e. rebirth/evil). The ink was also slightly ambiguous, maybe a Will or something. Later, you started the paragraph off with cherish, which was interesting. Again, I don’t find the poem to be pessimistic but rather real, so in this regard it seem to break at this point. Overall, the poem was archetypal of a work that emphasizes the curt nature of our existence. Hopefully, I have a couple good years left.
You say twice that you don't see this poem as pessimistic (which I would never claim it to be), but never coherently explain how it addresses the "innate and tragic facts of life" (which I also wouldn't claim it to be about).
DeleteI think I posted this in response to one of your classmates already, but this poem was spurred by an NPR interview with writer Maurice Sendak, re-played shortly after his death. "Terry Gross – “Can you share some of your favorite comments from readers that you've gotten over the years?” Maurice Sendak – “Oh, there's so many. Can I give you just one that I really like? It was from a little boy. He sent me a charming card with a little drawing. I loved it. I answer all my children's letters —sometimes very hastily—but this one I lingered over. I sent him a postcard and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, 'Dear Jim, I loved your card.' Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, 'Jim loved your card so much he ate it.' That to me was one of the highest compliments I've ever received. He didn't care that it was an original drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it."
“Hold” created the message that a person only has so much time on this Earth. So while someone is living, he or she should appreciate and take advantage of the things that make him or her happy because eventually “that link will break” and those opportunities will no longer present themselves.The dog in the second stanza stays in the doghouse because he has been taught to stay. But really he wants to “come out and play”. It seems like such a small thing for the dog to leave the doghouse, but dogs have limited time on Earth too. The more time they spend stuck in the doghouse, the less time they have to enjoy the playful activity that brings them happiness. Also, when the owner is humming, it’s a green light for the dog to come out and enjoy itself. The owner’s humming is something that brings him or her joy, so the dog responds by allowing itself joy as well. In the third stanza, the girl wants more time. She “swallows her food whole” because every second of chewing would be a second lost. She “thinks coffee makes time” because it keeps her up, therefore allowing her more time to accomplish the things that she wants to do like “watching the ships crawl,... [as] her breath starts to unwind”. When the boy goes to the gym to try and “melt away” all the cotton candy he’s eaten, he’s wishing that he hadn’t eaten it because now he’s spending time at the gym burning it off. He’s using up time for something that wasn’t even worth it. This adds another element to the idea of taking advantage of things that make you happy. Take advantage of things that truly make you happy rather than things that create happiness in the moment but only cause regret later. In the fifth stanza, the girl gets to do the thing that makes her happy. She ignores the ferris wheel for as long as she can but then she is given the opportunity to ride it. The line “the ferris wheel’s too bright not to win” describes how things that can bring a person happiness are very tempting and it’s hard to avoid them especially when there is limited time.Then the repetition of the first stanza in the end ties everything together. It emphasizes the small amount of time a person has linked to the Earth and how it’s really important to find the things you love and hold onto them as much as you can because they are the only things that really matter.
ReplyDeleteYep.
DeleteI really enjoyed reading the poem “At the Other End”. Overall, the poem was honest and it did not force a message upon the reader. I enjoyed the second stanza of the poem because it explained how the song “Chariot”, or music in general, can change due to a breakup. The speaker’s roommate explains how the song, prior to meeting his ex-girlfriend, always sounded “half-lunged”(7). The song sounding “half-lunged” implies that the meaning was not as apparent and not as emotional before the roommates breakup. Often, experiences can help bring meaning and depth to music, especially breakups. In the next stanza, the speaker explains that the roommate still describes his life as “good” and “unhitched”(10). The word choice of “unhitched” is particularly interesting because it refers to the roommate feeling a sense of freedom after the breakup with his girlfriend. Likewise, he no longer has to pull her behind him as a constant reminder of his relationship. Although being “unhitched” may seem like a relief, the roommate still sings, “Give me your strength, Oh chariot”(12). The speaker’s roommate may feel relieved and free but he still asks for strength to move on from his ex-girlfriend and heal after his breakup.
ReplyDeleteThe message behind “Hold” is one that I strive to live by each day. I believe the poem illuminates how we should live like we’re dying; the first and last stanzas imply that you only have so much time on this earth, so you might as well cherish the moments experienced with others before they are taken away from you. You mention to “hold someone,” but I also believe it references the fact that people should hold not only hold onto just people, but to memories, moments, and opportunities, as well. Furthermore, I enjoy how you incorporate two different stories that join together, one from the “girl downtown” (9) and the other from the “booth boy” (13). The girl, living a hectic, fast-paced lifestyle, finally slows down as she sits to watch the ships on the pier. As she unwinds, she is able to meet the boy with “nice arms.” From here, I enjoy how the story between the two of them ends, allowing the reader to interpret what happens next. But ultimately, that newfound relationship between the boy and girl references the message of finding someone to hold onto and love because life can be over in an instant. Overall, I really enjoyed the ideas behind this poem, and I believe that everyone should follow this message.
ReplyDeleteNope, just hold someone (you can't hold memories -- they change each time you access them; you can't hold moments -- they come and go by their nature; you can't hold opportunities -- they can be chased, but they are note real until you make them so. But you can hold someone.)
DeleteOnline dating these days has become so popular, whether through online sites or smartphone apps. We always hear about the “success stories” during e-Harmony commercials or through positive reviews in the app store. However, behind all of these successful examples, there are even more people who still haven’t found the one, and that is the point of view that I believe the speaker is taking in “Self-Reporting.” The speaker doesn’t understand why girls don’t seem to be interested in him. He “has never been dumped” and “always makes sense.” This confidence reflects the mindset of many people who has ever put themselves out there on social media. Girls always choose the cutest or most provocative profile picture in order to be perceived as attractive, which ultimately gives them an air of confidence as well. The speaker also feels the same way, and displays this assurance by saying, “You’re totally gonna love me, unless you’re a moron” (15-16) and “I’m sensitive, and clever, and a man - a manly man” (9-10). Nonetheless, he doesn’t understand why he can’t get any responses from women. The answer, from my perspective, is that his arrogance is the turn-off. His hubris makes him feel like he has the authority to talk to women in a demeaning tone when saying things like “U so hot.” So, to answer his question at the end of the poem - yes, women pick up on little hints and we have the uncanny ability to see many things that men can’t.
ReplyDelete"women pick up on little hints and we have the uncanny ability to see many things that men can’t. " -- ironically, that's a little prideful and demeaning, don't you think? That women can see things which men can't? That men are perhaps incapable of being made aware of their piggishness?
DeleteI know that's probably not what you meant, but it's what you've implied (if you're going to call a guy out for speaking uncritically, you obligate yourself to speak accurately and intentionally)
You're right, that's not what I meant. What that line was supposed to reference is the fact that women may feel different emotions that cause them pay attention to certain things that they have an interest for whereas men might not really care. Instead of "can't," I should have said "...that men have little interest for."
DeleteDuly noted. I feel you :)
DeleteThe message of the poem “Eaten” is to enjoy the small things in life. Each stanza blatantly develops the story of how the speaker defies the wishes of authority, his mom, to live in the moment and explore the unknown. In the first stanza, “Found it. In the kitchen, like It was supposed to be – Eaten. But mother said that Such things meant aches for me.” the speaker is referring to his childlike inquires that disobey his mother’s rules, yet are necessary to cure his case of curiosity. In the second stanza the speaker describes how he, “Couldn’t help but touch the leaf or spider or--ink stain, small and beautiful.” The speaker feels inclined to learn by doing instead of listening to the predicted outcome of his actions. In the last stanza the speaker justifies the entire purpose of the poem by providing an explanation of why he did what he did. “For all joy are born to--Perish: fading, scattering.” The speakers justifies touching “the leaf or spider or ink stain” because he knows they will eventually disappear; and he will never have the chance to again.
ReplyDeleteSelf- Reporting
ReplyDeleteIn this poem the speaker, a pompous fool in denial about his actions, blames others for his flaws and is oblivious to how others perceive him. The speaker says, “ I always drive at the speed the freeway SHOULD BE,” meaning the speed he drives on the freeway is the best speed and the actual speed of the freeway is incorrect. The speaker then says, “And I never complain unless someone is doing things wrong.” The actions of being “right” or “wrong” is solely the perspective of the one judging the situation. Doing something “wrong” in the eyes of the speaker may be the “right” thing in the eyes of the other person. The instant dismissal of the other person's point of view exemplifies the speaker's immaturity and inability to compromise with others. It is humorous that the speaker has such a condescending and unattractive attitude, yet is wondering why "more girls don't write back" to him. It is also ironic because the speaker seems as though he doesn’t care what people think about him, but he questions the lack of communication he receives from women. In the end of the poem the speaker comes to some sort of revelation and wonders if people see all the things he’s in denial about.
well-read.
DeleteHold
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this poem, I believe the two characters could have a deeper connection to each other. This would better fit the theme of holding someone worthwhile while life is still amongst us. I fail to see a meaningful connection that would make the two characters in the poem actually want to hold each other. In the fifth stanza the girl is intrigued by the Ferris wheel so she approaches the booth boy. The booth boy says, “Angels free”, (which is, in my opinion, a cliche pick up line). Yet the girl ignores his pick-up line in favor of admiring his arms. The speaker then reverts to the original phrase, “You're gonna die some day. That link will break away. So while you're down on the ground, here …Hold someone – hold someone,” insinuating that the two should hold each other. However, the interaction between the boy and the girl is superficial-- they have no strong connection other than him wanting to quit his job and live life at sea, and her finding solace by watching “ships crawl." Because of this, I have a hard time understanding why the two strangers would want to hold each other. In my opinion, the action of holding someone is powerful beyond measure. The act of holding someone encompasses an element of vulnerability because two people are trusting each other to physically support their bodies and allowing each other in their personal space. The two know nothing about each other; what true motivation would they have for holding one another? The poem could benefit from a stanza that emphasizes the potential relationship between the two, instead of reinforcing a superficial message of "hold someone." Technically speaking, the poem has a rhymed verse with a poem refrain.
I think you may be missing the message of the poem -- because you have added something to it that was never there: value judgement.
DeleteFrom the beginning you say the poem's theme is "of holding someone worthwhile while life is still amongst us," which it's not: the poem says "While you're down on the ground here, hold someone." Period.
By changing it to "someone WORTHWHILE," you have inserted subjective criteria that begin walling off the world: his pick-up line is "cliche," their interaction in "superficial." And then you challenge their motivation for holding each other.
But who are YOU to judge him for thinking she looks like an angel? Who are YOU to insinuate that her attraction to his arms is not also picking up on the dedication behind them, or the gentleness with which he wields that power as her hands her that ticket?
When you approach the world with judgments, you lock yourself into those work cubicles, those booths, those doghouses -- those pre-defined walls that pretend to be solid and supportive but really just make people lonely.
Have a little faith, Dean. Sometimes "trusting each other to physically support [one another's] bodies and allowing each other in" to that personal space ... sometimes that's just a thing you need. And if someone's willing to give you that gift, in that time when you need it, why not take it? Are you too good for a hug?
“At the Other End” portrays a speaker who is grieving a breakup. Music always has had a cathartic effect for me, and I have always felt this feeling is universal. The poem supports this idea. It mentions when he sang Chariot “it always sounded more / half-lunged than it did as he howled it now:” displaying he is now singing this song with meaning, singing to his greatest capacity. By saying he sung “half-lunged” it insinuates that while in his relationship suppressed his true emotions, or his capacity to express them. The use of the world “howled” allows the speaker to be given animalistic characteristics. By comparing the speaker to an animal, it reveals that in this moment, the speaker, like an animal is not tied to the conventions of society or expectations on how he should act or behave. Additionally, it is in a way ironic that when he sings his song he is the height of his vulnerability, and he asks for strength. Yet it is in this moment where he is fully in touch with his feelings that he actually finds the most strength.
ReplyDeleteWho says you're at your strongest when you're in touch with your feelings? Sometimes, the moment when one goes from resisting emotional truth to embracing it is the MOST vulnerable state they've experienced ... even if it leads to greater stability down the road.
Delete“Red-Flags” looks at the increasing amount of pessimism in society today. The speaker in a sense wants to be a troubled soul who has to overcome all of the horrors life has forced her to experience. While she wants to be seen as someone who has overcome her obstacles, and she says she “I believe in strength / In the face of adversity”. This is not truly how she acts, she wants to be the victim, but one who is seen as a victor. By virtue of the fact that “she thinks her life is hard and cruel consistently” the poem illustrates that she is in fact a victim, as she cannot just take the obstacles life throws at her and work to overcome them. Instead, she feels the need to talk about how she overcomes them, while complaining about how cruel life is and not just dealing with it. She realizes that if she openly says her life is not all cruelty, it will mean the pattern of complaining she has gotten herself into was all for nothing, she will not achieve a response from others which is what she really wants. She wants sympathy from others.
ReplyDelete"“Red-Flags” looks at the increasing amount of pessimism in society today ... She wants sympathy from others." I almost thought you were going to defend her.
DeleteEverybody's so quick to jump on board with the author in condemning that simple phrase. But SOOO many women include it in their online profiles ... I keep hoping that someone, someday, will challenge me on my unapologetic rush-to-judgment with a devil's-advocate sentence or two.
After reading the entire poem a few times, there’s a sense of causality in the first stanza compared to the other two. Its intriguing in that the first stanza introduces the motivation for the speaker’s roommates musicality. Also within the first stanza the speaker only introduces the title of the song his roommate is playing, “Chariot”. A chariot usually signifies an old roman battle, with the gladiators on their chariots. Almost signifies overcoming and defeating something. However, as we transition into the second stanza, the speaker describes how prior to his roommates relationship he played this song but half heartedly almost, which can be seen in the description of him playing the song “half-lunged”. It makes me think that now there's more passion of relief but then the first lyric of the song is given and the passion turns into a passion for a cry of help, as if he needs the chariot so that he can overcome the heartbreak. The third stanza is my favorite. It has such a relatability as, he was playing the music in his room alone but when he is in front of others he acts as if nothing has affected him really. But with the last lyric of “Give me your strength, Oh Chariot” the roommate is not ok, he’s still heartbroken searching for aid in a way, but he’s embarrassed at his sorrow so he isn’t going to show that to the speaker directly.
ReplyDeleteWhat I like most about “Self-reporting” is its approach to addressing the misconceptions we have about ourselves. The first stanza takes on other people, and the idea that the narrator is always right. This stanza is especially ironic, because things such as speeding on the highway or getting dumped by a girl are all very straightforward in blame (you had to have done something wrong for the action to happen) yet the narrator still says he is right and that the others just arent doing things his way. The second stanza deals with the man’s perception of himself and how he should be viewed. He is clearly flawed, as he thinks telling someone to “buck up” when they need compassion and understanding is a good way to go about helping others. By saying “You’re totally gonna love me,/ unless you’re a moron” the narrator expresses the thoughts of a large portion of the male population. Men need to feel dominant and appreciated and revered to be comfortable, and the narrator’s egotistical proclamation demonstrates that. The third stanza is by far the most important, because it shows how the narrator realizes that his approach isn’t working, even admitting that he doesn’t see all of him (mainly his own flaws). His approach to talking to girls is saddening, but even more so because it’s not only him who takes this course. The boastfulness and superficiality of mankind is widely apparent in our culture, and he sees that it isn’t working. But even as he admits the flaws, we know he won’t change, because he compares his incomprehensibility and inability to relate to others as that of a God being far superior to the others; an ultimate egotistic statement even as he reveals the flaws ego brings.
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of guys, myself included, who would take offense to your view of this man as representative of men in general: "the narrator expresses the thoughts of a large portion of the male population. Men need to feel dominant and appreciated and revered to be comfortable, and the narrator’s egotistical proclamation demonstrates that." This phrasing conflates a desire for appreciation with that of dominance and ego-feeding reverence.
DeleteWe all want to be appreciated, men and women alike. But let's be clear: this guy is an asshole -- and I'd venture to claim that "a large majority" of men are not this guy.
Sorry if this came across the wrong way. I definitely didn't mean to say that all men act or speak to the degree which the narrator does. I meant (and should have made clearer) that men hold similar ideals, if not to the same extent. I still think a large part of male culture is based off of confidence. So while the man in the poem is a very extreme example, I would still argue that there's still some of us in the way he acts.
DeleteThat, I think -- on a cultural level -- is true. It's not our destiny, but it is our societal standard (in A Clockwork Orange, for example, the author intended Alex to be the social ideal of masculinity: verbose, charismatic, pugilistic). That's why I work at redefining the words that surround us in this society ('confidence' in the poem "No Matter What", 'drive' in the poem "Impatience", etc.).
DeleteFor as short a poem as “Red Flags”, it really made me think a lot before I took away a decent understanding. I knew from the title that it would be about some form of warning sign, but even now I still don’t know what exactly the poem is warning the reader about. Perhaps from superficial hardships and from not putting our lives in perspective, such as what happens to the girl whose profile the narrator views. But even with that explanation I still feel like I haven’t quite hit the nail on the head. The message of the poem also took me a long time to pinpoint, because I came away from it with two separate, polar meanings. Initially, I favored thinking that the narrator served as a warning from jumping to conclusions without truly knowing a person’s story. In commenting “You’re fine” without knowing everything that happens in her life, he may be missing some major struggle buried deep inside of her. However, the last two lines of the poem didn’t fit with my initial understanding, and after thinking some more, I think I’ve decided that the meaning goes more towards a warning not to seek out hardships, or invent ones to fit the mold a certain mold. In this case, the mold would be that of a strong woman who has overcome great struggles to get where she is today. The message could also include being thankful for not having to face struggles in ones life, but I don’t pretend to be good at analyzing poetry so I could be completely off the mark on this and I’m still not fully decided on what I think was the true meaning of the poem.
ReplyDeleteI think you got it pretty well by the end.
DeleteOf course it's true that everyone, in their own way, faces personal struggles in life. But advertising that is ... well, is (A) focusing on the problem rather than the solution, and (B) imposing your personal struggle on everyone else (who in private all have their own to contend with).
So the question becomes: "Do you really want to date someone who leads with the statement 'I advertise my problems as a means of self-promotion'?"
I interpreted "A Hint of the Barrell" to mean that, in death, every part of one's physical body is taken away. The use of end stopped lines, with commas, serves to show the speakers ideas as (at first) reflective and contemplative. However, as the poem progresses, the phrases transition into enjambed lines, serving to show the overwhelming and and all-consuming qualities of death. This enjamed pattern repeats itself, however the speaker pauses at certain points in the poem to place emphasis on a particular phrases and parts of life that he feels are lost in death. Words like “ebb” and “flow”, in phrases that end in end-stopped punctuation, make the reader reflect and read them with a more careful and attentive attitude; viewing the words with the same tone which they dictate. At the end of the poem, the enjambed lines become more and more frequent, as the speaker becomes more overwhelmed with the destructive and overruling power of death. The speaker slows down his pace at the end, however, and begins to look for some type of resolution and security. This is indicated by the use of punctuation within the phrases, rather than ending them with a period altogether. Once the narrator finally begins to describe the eyes of a human after death he looks deeper within them, and realizes that although the eyes might be lifeless, there is a mind behind them that can never really die which gives him comfort. The use of white lettering against the dark background highlights the nothingness which death brings along with it, and the dark and lifeless realm which death brings. Does this interpretation correlate with the intended meaning of what life and death mean to you?
ReplyDeleteAlthough certainly there is an impulse for us as sentient beings to want to believe what you describe -- "he looks deeper within them, and realizes that although the eyes might be lifeless, there is a mind behind them that can never really die which gives him comfort" -- the text never states this. Rather it asks the question, Does death ever taste the mind?
DeleteSee Megan Borghi's comment on this poem for my answer to that.
In the poem “Self Reporting,” what first caught my attention was the narrator’s descriptions of his perfection, not blatantly by stating so, but rather by highlighting other peoples flaws. The speaker explains how he never makes mistakes and spends time working to correct the imperfections and wrongdoings of others. I interpreted that the narrator felt that those who disagree and find flaws within him are wrong and their opinions are irrelevant. Laws don’t pertain to him if he doesn’t deem them appropriate, therefore his life and his circumstances are only flawed as a result of the mistakes of those around him. The speaker’s use of capitalization for the word “should” emphasize that everything around him should be one way, however, the world around him isn’t able to be as it should at the hands of others. The speaker utilizes end stopped lines in the form of periods at the end of each stanza, which serve to show how set in his ways he is. At the end of the poem, the narrator is perplexed why his excessive flaunting of his perfections are not reciprocated by the girls who he is trying to communicate with. He compliments them on their outer appearance and looks, rather than their personalities. Ironically, this narrow minded approach towards addressing woman is the same one which he has when addressing the qualities and imperfections of those around him, never addressing his own potential flaws. At the end, there is a moment of reflection and consideration, unlike the very adamant and decisive tone in the beginning of the poem, where he considers that maybe he is potentially imperfect, and that these woman, which he deems beneath him, can see right through his act of perfection. Is this a similar perspective which you had while writing the poem?
ReplyDeleteWas it my perspective? -- hell no. Have I seen evidence of that perspective often enough that I thought it warranted a poetic encapsulation? -- hell yes.
DeleteWhen reading this poem for the first time, the rhyming pattern never occurred to me. I read it as a narrative with no emphasize on the final words of each line. Going back to glance at the poem, I took note of the rhyming of the first two lines (of each stanza) and the slant rhyming of the last two lines (of each stanza). This gives the poem a sing-song rhythm just like the “Chariot” song that is mentioned throughout. I view the tone of the poem to change from one of insensitivity “like now he had the time to be here with his musicality” (3-4) to one of sympathy as he understands the newfound passion in his voice “it had always sounded more half-lunged than it did as he howled it now” (6-7). I recognized that the chariot must have some significance behind it in the poem, portrayed as some sort of symbol, but I am not one hundred percent sure I am correct. I assumed the chariot, known as an instrument of power and glory, gave the roommate a sense of power after his breakup and to become resilient to his sorrows.
ReplyDeleteI personally do not agree with the message of the poem titled “Red Flags.” It associates the idea of strength in the face of adversity as a red flag, not considering it as a good thing, but instead a negative quality for a woman. I think making this aware on a public profile does not mean that people are complaining constantly about the struggles they face to live. There is nothing wrong with thinking that some aspects of life are cruel and unfair, as long as you revolt against the struggles you face and commit to live fully. This reminds me of the idea of the Absurd in Albert Camus’ novel The Stranger. I also do not agree with this poem being directed at women and stereotyping them as the gender that does the complaining. I think that people can both admit their lives contain good and bright aspects, as well as acknowledge that there are bad and dark parts, without it being cliched or frowned upon.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is not about women, nor about individuals who show strength in the face of adversity; it is about one woman, publicly proclaiming that she has strength in the face of adversity.
DeleteIf I were gay, I'm sure I would have written a similar poem about some man or other. But I'm not, so I was reading a woman's dating profile. ... And I didn't ask her out, but I also didn't write her to complain about her profile. :)
The poem “Jk’s most commonly used Principles” makes me look at the lifespan of a person for what it is. Essentially, life is short and we need to take advantage of each moment. I resonate with the message that life is a balance of excesses. There is always too much I want to do and not enough time to do it. I have found that everything needs a balance and needs focus to find each thing’s true potential. I agree that saying ‘thank you’ is important in life and thus keeping and building relationships is necessary, but having said that, there is no time for regret and so “show ‘sorry’” but do not dwell on the bad moments in life. I aim to live my life with balance and no regrets and to find some good in every situation.
ReplyDeleteThe poem “Hold” brought back memories from my time spent volunteering in an HIV and Aids clinic. With that, the poem is s little sad for me and really drives the message that all we have in the end is each other, not material items, not wealth, but human (or dog) companionship. The patients I met at the HIV and Aids clinic had the bare minimum to live off of and generally had no permanent home, or access to food or decent clothing. Still, they each looked out for each other and formed a welcoming community with the mindset that “while you’re down on the ground, here.../ Hold someone”. They made jokes and kept tabs on each other despite any differences because thats what they had to do to get through the week.
ReplyDeleteRight? Human beings at their most desperate and weak are so often also at their most real and beautiful. Thank you for this.
DeleteI thought "Red Flags" was comical because social media plays such a prevalent role in our lives and we are constantly reading into the true meanings of posts and the information people choose to give away in their profile descriptions. People like to embellish their lives online to seem more interesting and mysterious than they actually are, which is why we need to choose what is illusion and reality.
ReplyDeleteThe first thought that almost instantaneously entered my mind after reading “Self-reporting” was my fraternal twin brother, Blake. He and I are two very different individuals, as I try to live my life with a reserved amount of modesty whereas Blake makes it his duty to be as bragadocious and (do I dare say) supercilious as humanly possible. This poem spoke to me because it reminded me of the constant gratification that has been needed to feed my brother’s ego, even down to the know-it-all characteristic that oozes with vanity. It is true that my brother does not understand that the world does not always revolve around him. With luck, he will figure it out eventually.
ReplyDeleteHow ironically condescending of you ;)
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ReplyDeleteThis poem (song), "Hold", really makes me think about the little time each of us have on this earth. It is a very limited amount of time and should therefore be fully taken advantage. I do not want to look back on my life and think “Well, I sure wish I could have done that!”. No. Rather, I want to make an impact on this world, look past all of the hindering metaphors that Life throws at you. This poem reconfirms my prior perception on the world that surrounds me: full of infinite possibilities just waiting to be considered and explored. After reading this poem, there is almost an optimistic light that is telling me to get out into the world and just be the best person you can be.
ReplyDeleteI liked how descriptive the poem “A Hint of the Barrel” was, as it seems to describe almost every part of the body and how if appears after death. To me, especially from the images at the end of the poem, this poem points out how empty death leaves the body, and how frightening it is that something so full of life and purpose, like the human body to the individual, can become so useless and meaningless in an instant.
ReplyDeleteWell-said. Gave me the chills a little-- touche.
Delete“A Hint of the Barrel” really stuck with me and I would say that it most resonated when I sat back and thought about just how many intricate, minute details make up our bodies and lives, only to be extinguished at the touch of death. It’s strange to think how much importance we place in our own lives, yet death ultimately renders it all rather unimportant. The organization of the human body is actually quite miraculous, as are the things it can accomplish, yet these are so easily destroyed by death. But the question of whether or not death touches the mind is the biggest question in life, and of course will never be answered definitively by the living. So in the end, we’ll never know… but it’s sure interesting to think about.
ReplyDeleteAs I initially read through "Self-reporting," the main idea that stood out to me and drew me towards finishing the rest of the poem is the speaker's extreme sense of confidence and coexistence with his own beliefs. The last few lines were particularly resonant with me, especially when the speaker asks if his incomprehensibility is hindering other people for seeing his true self and personality and motives, rather than being completely transparent. Though I cannot relate to the speaker or his situation, I do recognize his sense of awareness and in many people around me. I feel as if this is important in gaining the self-confidence that this speaker seems to portray.
ReplyDelete“Self-Reporting” reminded me that everything is relative to your own perception. Not everyone sees things the exact same way. There have been many times in which I have been extremely angry regarding someone’s actions and I completely forgot that he/she may believe that whatever he/she is doing is completely justified. Although believing that your actions are justified does not actually make them justified it’s still an interesting concept to consider. The poem also made me contemplate the idea that my perception of myself and my opinions are always going to seem right to me and I am always going to defend my own ideas due to that realization whether my opinions pertain to dating, driving, eating, etc. This poem provoked thoughts regarding how to distinguish who has the correct perspective in any given situation and who gets to decide who is correct.
ReplyDelete“Hold” made me consider the idea that by the time a person dies, some of the little things that occurred in the past aren’t going to matter. It isn’t going to matter if someone ate a bunch of cotton candy or couldn’t resist going on the ferris wheel. What will stick with you and everyone else when you die is the love you had for someone or something. Everything else will fade away because it won’t carry on with you in death. It also reminded me that death is inevitable so one might as well spoil oneself every now and then because death is the one thing that is certain whereas numerous things in life will never be.
ReplyDelete"Hold" focuses on the importance of being present in life and understanding the time we have alive, because it is limited and not forever or permanent. The poem begins with “You’re going to die someday”, it is very abrupt and right to the point but also extremely simple. While the focus of the poem is about the importance of being present, as told in the title “Hold” and many lines saying “Hold someone”, it shows that even though life moves fast, it is important to hold onto people who mean something to you and build relationships while we have the chance to.
ReplyDeleteThe different scenarios the speaker talks about shows the different ways people pass time. The lines about “The booth boy at the carnival goes / To the gym each night and sweats through his clothes / dreaming all that cotton candy melts away from him … / As he grabs that bar and rows. (13-16)” maybe shows the personal struggles the boy goes through, how he is constantly working, and how that is the way he is spending his time. So, the speaker is saying that with the limited time we have here on earth, we should just hold onto someone or something that we hold close to ourselves and live in the moment, because nothing is forever.
I'm glad you gravitated to this one - it's one of my favorites. I remind myself of this idea a lot. Helps to keep my heart and head's priorities in the right place.
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