.JPG)
There was only one way this was going
to end:
With a kiss or a cry – a kiss; a cry.
Because growing up carries up only one
lesson –
That virgins are meant to die.
“Silver-lined clouds,” “This too
shall pass,” and
“Good things come to he who
waits”
Is a lie, is a lie: everything is here,
cycling,
Embracing the raw tidal weight.
“Good friends are forever,” “I'll
always be here,”
“Some things you can depend upon”
Is a thin veneer on a ship's cloistered
lung (
past a rock, then a high wave, gone).
Let me tell you what is, and always,
and ever,
The wisdom you'll feel melting dreams
from your eye:
New skin needs
to callous, chased into chafing;
Embracing, abrading
(what's hard holds the sky).
There was only one
way I was going to come:
Up the rocks,
through the sand, over sharp branches – I
Felt the air on my
shredded skin – gasping, then laughing.
Oh! Virgins are
meant to die.
*Thanks Jonathan E. (Yosemite lake water & July 4th gold/red fireworks), Hannah G.(cliffs come to ocean – Kauai), Jessica P. (sun setting on the 101), Damian K. (tree – Flagstaff, Arizona), Melody H. (Annie – May 25th), Jomeline B. (guitar player – Venice Beach, California), Phil B. (bare the wall), Paul F. (bee on flower – Santa Barbara, California), David Seymour Chim (visitors observing statue – Naples, Italy 1952) & Joan Fontbernat (Kiss of Death {grave of Joseph Llaudet Soler}– Poblenau Cemetery, Barcelona) for making this collage full.
ReplyDelete**Stanza 1 – Here, kiss/cry is being amended, from a dichotomous set to a conflated pair. (the lesson of growing up … that women/men, beginnings/ends, planned sacrifices/incidental deflowerings are all the same things: excesses meant to be resolved. The hard difference is only conceptual, semantic; the experiential continuity – from being different sexes to having one intercourse, from being at opposite ends to feeling one state-change, from being the victim of lost purity to coming in the eyes-wide revelry of de-purification – is natural, poetic).
Stanza 2 – Always. The sum total is present, constant. Not good/bad or even near/far, just existent.
Stanza 3 – Only. The parts of the sum which are not us move surprisingly, whimsically, extemporaneously (each part is true to its nature, but all those natures are so complexly not-ours that we cannot know for certain where they will go: only the out edge, touching us, can teach us anything of their reality in that moment).
Stanza 4 – Ever. Therefore, go and touch this world. This is how we were meant to grow and learn and strengthen, to hold things up and to be of value in our station: extend by experience and deepen with time.
Stanza 5 – for example, myself: I am coming forward. My wounds [see poems prior to this for concrete examples] make me gasp; my gasps fill my lungs for laughter. {Stimulus}in-out, {stimulus}in-out: each one of those humble narrative arcs is a private conflation of growth and death; is a propulsion and a sacrifice; is poetry :)
I loved the raw imagery included in the fifth stanza. "Up the rocks, through the sand, over sharp branches". Did you intend for this to parallel with the poem's "always", "only,", "ever" structure?
ReplyDeleteI also like how in the poem you started with kiss/cry (Stanza 1) and ended gasping/laughing (Stanza 5). The parallels between the first and fifth stanza helped reinforce the uniting of the two semantic "opposite ends" to which you referred in your above comment. The + / - to - / + also established a sense of resolution that was I felt was appropriate for this poem's message.
Nice collage by the way. I appreciated how you contained the pictures of the water and dog within a sort of circular rougher boundary of rocks, shrubs, and mountains. In this way, the outer boundary sort of represents the conceptual experiential aspects of life that everyone should pursue, and the inner fillings of water and the dog represent the infiniteness/continuity that is central and inside all of these experiences. Wonderful choice of positioning the bottom two pictures of the water bodies. The collage definitely embraces both the dichotomy and true continuity of life experiences which you also mentioned above.
As of yet I have not gone though all of your published pieces, but this is definitely one of my favorites out of those I have had the pleasure of reading. Thanks for sharing!
Actually, Michelle, when I wrote that rock/sand/branches line, I was in micro-mode (thinking about crawling out of the ocean onto land) but it does link up well with stanzas 2/3/4 ... so maybe I'm smarter than I know?
DeleteThis poem is one of my favorites, too. I actually wrote it months prior, but saved it until the end of this blog-chapter because I knew it would be a strong finish. Glad you agreed.
Few people seem to dissect the imagery of the collages in relation to the poems (maybe because we don't yet encourage visual literacy in our society; maybe because most of my collages are too jumbled to be readable ... but either way) thank you for taking the time.
Happy 2014
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLife must be experienced, and no amount of advice can replace getting out and meeting life’s challenges first-hand. The opening stanza looks at the age-old problem of broken relationships. When a couple splits apart, it might be on good terms, but more frequently one of the parties is left “crying.” It is a difficult time, but surviving and learning from it can leave someone mentally stronger. It was interesting how you used a personal breakup to portray the universal nature of facing and learning from life’s challenges.
ReplyDeleteThere is no shortage of advice from well meaning people. You broke down the old, well-intentioned sayings, “Good things come to he who waits” or “Good friends are forever.” But, the narrator does not believe in this romantic view of coming of age. He pragmatically observes, “Growing up carries up only one lesson- That virgins are meant to die.” Virgins are used as a metaphor for naiveté. Wide-eyed innocence will be punished. All the efforts to cover up adversity are “A thin veneer on a ship’s cloistered lung.” Those happy proverbs blind you to the danger that lies lurking. Ignorance is not bliss. The narrator strongly points out the “New skin needs to callous” and embrace difficult challenges. Only when we have been scraped by rocks and branches and have had our skin shredded will we be ready to face life and its challenges.
This is about more than a potential break up; it's about the breaking point: the point where a virgin doesn't even care about pain anymore -- where they're so rubbed-raw with life that they just want release (and whether it's a relationship's beginning or just another ending ... doesn't even matter, because it's all the same: another change, a little more experience).
Delete"Wide-eyed innocence will be punished." I disagree ...innocence will *inevitably meet with reality and be challenged to grow.*
"Only when we have been scraped by rocks and branches and have had our skin shredded will we be ready to face life and its challenges." The rocks and branches are challenges; experiences preparing us for further experiences. But yes, well-paraphrased.
I took this poem to mean that to survive in the modern world; you have to lose your innocence. The poem begins with a virgin forced to make a choice: innocence or experience. Virgin carries a sexual connotation, but beyond that is the connotation of innocence. As we grow older, our innocence is destined to wither and die. As we age, we learn that our previously held beliefs in silver-linings, patience, and “true friends” are a glamorized view of life that quickly leaves us when put to the trials of adolescence and adulthood. The true happiness in life is within experience, but to enjoy the ecstasy of experience we need to willingly give up our innocence, emerge from our shells, and expose ourselves to the harsh reality of life. In the final stanza, the speaker makes his choice, but instead of declaring what he shall do, takes action into his own hands; he climbs over the rocks, the obstacles that life has placed within his path. And after he has dragged himself over the rocks and through the brush, and marveled at his scars and the wisdom he has gained, the speaker is able to understand that the loss of his innocence was nothing to fear or mourn in the first place.
ReplyDelete"The poem begins with a virgin forced to make a choice: innocence or experience." I'd say rather that it begins with the virgin accepting that he HAS no choice -- that whatever the end, it will lead from innocence to experience. But, other than that, well-said.
DeleteI see how you are using the death of virgins as a gateway for a loss of innocence and shinning light on the act as both a gory and beautiful experience of life. I like how you used water and waves as a thread that weaves together throughout the stanzas almost utilizing water as and element of change in ones life from purity to experience. I also see how you depicted the snap shot of life in the poem as one coming of age from purity and innocence to experience and passion.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Michelle in that I loved your vivid imagery and your command of language. Your sharp words added a deeper meaning to the poem and gave it a very nice edge.
Your collage is amazing and I really want to know how you made it. I love how in your collage you express the similar idea of water and the ocean and add all other elements of life to reiterate that the death of a virgin is a part of life and a part of nature.
Overall i really enjoyed reading this poem!
Glad you liked it. See the post "Special feature: collage-making 101" for insight as to how I put these images together.
DeleteI really appreciated the organization in the poem. You first addressed the “kiss” being the soft and very tended-to way of being guided by life in the second and third stanzas. Then the “cry” being the reality and the hardship that wait to be faced and seem to only get more brutal the longer one postpones acknowledging them in the forth and fifth stanzas.
ReplyDeleteI understood the last stanza to mean that you cannot remain innocent and complacent when faced with hardship of life if you are expecting to make it through with little damage. This I think is the main message of this poem and I like that this last stanza became more personal saying “I was going to come.” I take the idea of laughing in the fifth stanza to represent and express the moment of understanding – a switch. At that moment, you can see clearly. This brings laughter because it is an understanding, which leaves you feeling foolish for not seeing the truth sooner. At that point one can no longer be manipulated by “this too shall pass” and “Good things come to he who waits” – those things, those lies, which are a complacent way of venturing through life.
My roommate shocked me with a stun-gun yesterday. It's kinda like that {gasping, then laughing, I mean}.
DeleteThis poem discusses the most commonly known loss of innocence. “The new Skin needs to callous” perfectly embodies this idea of breaking down walls and being exposed. The imagery in the last stanza is so vivid which conveys the impact of losing one’s innocence.
ReplyDeleteI feel like the narrator of the poem starts at a crossroads between stagnation and progression. This purgatory between two choices symbolizes the innocent on the verge of maturity embodied through a kiss, symbolizing corruption of purity, sexual maturity and transition from childhood into experience, and crying, symbolizing acceptance of failure and regression of one’s maturity. The second stanza reminds me of how the subject of the poem is now experiencing life for what it is by “embracing the raw tidal weight”. The subject is no longer shielded or protected from the trials and tribulations of life, but being immersed in them whether good or bad. As the poem progresses the subject realizes that all the romanticized ideals about things like a friendship and love are lies and the only thing that is genuine are the lessons you learn from experience. To live life is to “go up rocks, through the sand, over sharp branches”, to feel pain and to struggle through life is what kills the virgin.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Amy that the waves and tidal aspect is present throughout the poem. The rhyme and meter of the first stanza created a very pleasing sense to the poem that felt as though water was washing up and receding on a shore, particularly in the line "With a kiss or a cry – a kiss; a cry". I'm not sure if you did this intentionally but I thought it added incredible depth to the poem. It created a sense of tranquility and beauty that emphasized the idea developed in this poem that the death of virgins and a loss of innocence is both natural and beautiful yet unavoidable and tragic. I really enjoyed this poem--it's probably my favorite out of your poems that I've read.
ReplyDeleteI saw that this poem is, overall, stating how through life, everyone is forced to gain protection and lose innocence because of new, painful educating experiences. From the first stanza I understood that through life we will only learn that everyone loses the innocence of ignorance and mourns that loss. From the second stanza I understood that cliches on the future aren't dependable or realistic, but what I didn't understand was why come and here are italicized. Was it to stress the value on the now? Though the rest of the poem is painfully realistic on the on what is to come in everyone's future , it finally ends on a strange note because of the period after laughing. Why combine a word expected to be more light and chop off any positive expectation with a period?
ReplyDeleteTo the 1st question: yes -- the distinction between what is commonly said (that things aren't here, but will be) and what is true (that everything is always here).
DeleteThe the 2nd question: it doesn't end with a period. Laughing is followed by another line. ("La petite mort, French for "the little death", is an idiom and euphemism for orgasm. This term has generally been interpreted to describe the post-orgasmic state of unconsciousness that some women have after having some sexual experiences.
More widely, it can refer to the spiritual release that comes with orgasm or to a short period of melancholy or transcendence as a result of the expenditure of the "life force,"... The term "la petite mort" or "the small death" does not always apply to sexual experiences. It can also be used when some undesired thing has happened to a person and has affected them so much that "a part of them dies inside".") -- Wikipedia >> La petite mort.
I believe that this poem is a harsh reminder that to survive in this world, one must experience a "loss of innocence". The use of common quotes such as "good things come to he who waits" and "some things you can depend on" add a sarcasm to the poem that emphasize how repeatedly we are told positive things throughout life as if every story has a happy ending. As the text points out however, there are malevolent forces in the world that serve to obstruct happiness and success ("rocks [...]sand [...] sharp branches) and the only way to not be overcome by these forces is to face them head on and "toughen up". I also appreciate how this moral was conveyed, not in an aggressive manner, as is usually the presentation of such thoughts, but stated in a "matter of fact" way that doesn't give an air of hopelessness to the daunting obstacles that we all will face.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't call sand, sharp branches, etc. 'malevolent.'
ReplyDeleteNor would I call a matter-of-fact disagreement with popular truisms 'sarcastic' ("using irony in order to mock or convey contempt").
As you said, this is not an aggressive -- nor is it a condescending -- moral message. It encourages diligence and humility in the face of seeming losses ... which in time, may be looked back on and seen as gains.
At first, this seems to be a poem about the fact that a loss of innocence in inevitable. However upon my second reading of the poem, I believe you’re trying to say that innocence will grow into experience. It does not have to be a “loss” of innocence since that carries a negative connotation. A loss of innocence can be a positive thing because we grow through our experiences and in the end, gain useful knowledge. I especially liked the second stanza because it touched on the issue of waiting for something to happen instead of being self sufficient and chasing experiences that have always been here. I also really like the line, “The wisdom you feel melting dreams from your eye: New skin needs to be callous, chased into chafing” because it is saying that ultimately, gaining knowledge and “wisdom” may ruin one’s innocence, but they will be better off. Thank you for sharing this fantastic poem.
ReplyDeleteLilly Fabian
You're welcome. And I hope it offers some reassurance as you continue toward being an adult. The last half-decade (20-25) is, in some ways, the most important part of the battle: it's where you decide what kind of person you want to become, and how you're going to chase it. And you need thick skin to have that kind of honest conversation with yourself.
DeleteI felt like this poem connects with our youth especially in today’s standards and considering where many of us come from. Growing up in a place where it is fairly easy to maintain this level of innocence, it’s nice to find that in this work losing innocence isn’t necessarily bad its just a choice that must be made or left behind. As I think about going off to college and being on my own, this poem definitely connects with my own personal belief that “innocence” isn’t something to be held with pride if it simultaneously reflects ignorance and unwillingness to fail. This poem reminded me that experiencing what life offers is much more valuable than watching it go by with out understanding what it’s like to get your hands dirty. Sometimes being able to critically look at your self is the best way to do it.
ReplyDeleteI believe the most important aspect of life is experiencing the world in its entirety; the growth and new perspectives experiences can offer are a key aspect of individual development. Growing and changing is not a loss of innocence per say, but more so the embracing of the expansiveness and unknowns of life in order to mold oneself as a person. This poem parallels what I hold to be the best philosophy to live by: an existentialist-like identification through living and experiencing. And in addition, it offers me consolation when things my life is unfulfilling or not going well, ensuring me that becoming embracing the metaphorical wounds of life and becoming callous is simply another aspect of the complexity of human development.
ReplyDeleteThis poem installed in me an overwhelming sense of loss. The idea that “virgins are meant to die”, or that childhood and innocence are meant to be abandoned, is something that is definitely romanticized as we transition from adolescence into adulthood. But as we run towards this freedom, we become scarred by the truths of adulthood, experiencing for the first time the pain that comes along with real knowledge and understanding of reality. While the speaker intends to approach his coming of age with a proactive embrace of change, and a willingness to overcome the initial pain, I feel as though I am left behind, still clinging onto the precious simplicity of youth, and avoiding the imminent surrender to adulthood.
ReplyDeleteIt's not an either-or: things are still precious and simple. There are just a lot of details scurrying around that simple center.
DeleteSpread your branches...
I found this poem to be a very intense specifically because of the raw images and emotions expressed through the mention of virginity and violence. I also thought the water imagery that was weaved throughout the poem contributed to my understanding of the pain the speaker has endured. The first thing that caught my attention when reading this poem was the dialogue that was used in some of the lines. While reading the lines of dialogue, I was able to more closely empathize with the speaker since the lines include direct addresses to the reader. This helped convey the intensity of the speaker’s feelings and allowed me to feel directly related to the experience of the speaker.
ReplyDelete