Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Let her down (a song) ...



I buzz in to drive a pup uptown;
A man comes to drop off his dead hound (
Eyes closed, with blood rollin' off her lips).
Wife follows, sunk-eyed, behind him,
Hoping that her hand can unwind him (but
All he can feel is the truth on his fingertips).

I jump over their line of red splashes –
A black bag zips; a kennel unlatches –
And here's little Petey by his paws hanging onto me.
I nod: the man's half-a-step farther from
Broken – his pale wife's taking it harder.
I hope they can feel this Sunday morning breeze

           As I set him down (easy, child),
           And into a seat that he's never sniffed before.
           I let him whine (soon he'll find the scent
           Of my gum, of the sun, of the window's rushing roar).

I drop him off at the local adoption
“Keeping you with me was never an option.”
She sneaks up behind, about twenty minutes late.
“So sorry, a car hit me, had to – ”
“Don't worry about it, I'm really just glad you – ”
She glows in the sun while her green eyes gawk (worth the wait).

We dance in the woods. She puts on her shoes and –
taking a moment, the ground becomes loose sand –
I ask: “Just to be clear, what's you-and-me?”
She says, “Well, I'm sort of seeing someone,”
Standing so close beside (he must be a deaf-dumb one).
“Just friends for now, then,” I squeeze her (the fool is me).

                      [Instru.]

And I suppose the question becomes – right? –
in the end, when you'd rather feel sunlight,
Is it wasteful to loiter in the cool, fluorescent gloom?
I think so: as her core leaves your fingers,
let loose from the weight (so that no shadow lingers)
And hop in your car with the sweet morning breeze: make some room.

           Just set her down (easy boy:
           Not that ends are deaths or farewell such a heavy crime,
           But when a hope become just a dream,
           That end – while it rests in your hands – is the world for a time).

5 comments:

  1. * Thanks Angela A. (Woody – waiting for his new mom), Jessica P. (Luminarium ceiling), Anne E. (pastel chairs – Isibania, Kenya pre-wedding), Kanani & Jenna (rejection eyes – 2012 May & July), and Dan Weiner (MLK Jr. Hands – Montgomery, Alabama 1956) for making this collage full.

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  2. I am not sure if I interpreted this poem correctly, but were you drawing a comparison between dropping off a puppy for adoption and ending a failing romantic relationship? If so, I like your conclusion about moving on that you reached in the 2 final stanzas. The imagery you used paralleled between the two events. The image of the dog soon finding the scent of the sun and the window's rushing roar made way later for the content in the second to last stanza that you were as a general positive and hopeful message to readers.

    When I read this, I took the parenthetical insertions as a means to include a more jaded outlook on events depicted. I noticed that while the rest of the poem was in first person, the content you included in the parentheses were directed towards someone else ("child"/"boy"/reader). I was curious to hear in your words what the intent was behind adding extra lines in this format. I also was also wondering why you chose to indent only two particular stanzas, which were the only stanzas with 4 lines as opposed to 6. Are these format choices due with this being a song? Thanks

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    Replies
    1. Yep - indented lines are usually the way I differentiate choruses from verses when I write songs.

      The parentheses are another typical convention that I've adopted in my writing, as a way of differentiating words that I'm (thinking) from words that actually make it out of my mouth. Parentheses are where I place those private internal moments -- If I ever went to poetry readings, I might not even read those lines aloud ... just leave them for the readers to think to themselves.

      Some poems, like "Child Parade," are written almost entirely within parentheses -- with even a pair of {brackets} to denote a mental aside withIN that internal conversation. In this song/poem, the "someone else" the speaker is addressing is himself, inside his own head -- e.g., (easy, child) is what he thinks as he sets a squirming dog down into his car.

      And as to your first question, you're close -- the comparison is between making room in the car for a new dog (seeing an old couple dropping off their dead one and hoping they can do the same after their grief passes) and making space in one's heart for a new romance (by deciding not to loiter in the gloom of a not-really-relationship).

      ^ There's a few parentheses for you ;)

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  3. The introduction and beginning of this poem which contain a metaphor with a recently dead hound dog is a great way to subtly bring in the concept of love and relationships into this poem. The wife who “hoping that her hand can unwind” the man who is so effected by the death of his dog acts sets up the type of relationship the speaker truly seeks. Once the women and the man to remain friends rather than lovers, the lines “when you’d rather feel sunlight,/ Is it wasteful to loiter in the cool, fluorescent gloom” brings back the idea of sincere love that was introduced through the husband and wife. The two relationships act as foils as the speaker realizes that his relationship with the women is “fluorescent gloom” when “sunlight”, the love that exists between the husband and wife, is what is truly desired. Ultimately, the decision to end the relationship and let go reveals the need to free one’s self from relationships that are artificial and fake in order to search for what can bring about true happiness.

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    Replies
    1. That's the essential attitude of the poem.

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