Murder me with “extra” cheese
Shackled in double plastic,
Blind me with three-sixty screens
Blinking “FREE!”
“TODAY!”
“FANTASTIC!”
Deafen me with mounted speakers
Cannon-blasting a concession hall,
Numb my thumbs
with console games
and pay-pads
wall-to-wall.
Slice me through with radio-waves
And cook my brain on a phone;
Choke my air with
wi-fi hot-spots,
Billboards,
crowd lines,
drones;
Melt my teeth with bleach-white
Flour,
sugar,
citric acid,
Salted
syrups,
powdered
spirits:
Saturate me passive.
Fill my mouth with taglines
And empty my bowels with quips,
Plunge my veins with panic, fervor:
“SALE!”
“APOCALYPSE!”
Pour me
wide-eyed
into engines.
Feed me
smiling
through machines.
Shape me,
use me,
end me—
Just don't
ask me
what it means.
"Bernie Sanders rocked it at the Democratic Debate yesterday—he had a great moment at around 1:36:50, where he pointed out that the whole “Democrats and Republicans hate each other” notion is just a folk-myth in the media that distracts from the real issue: a handful of companies have the legal ability to fund politicians, address congress, push legislation, and buy elections. Yup … I really hope you take the presidency, Bernie."
ReplyDelete– 18 January 2016
By using aggressive and active language, the speaker of this poem effectively paints the image of a polluted and tainted world, poisoned by the processed food industry with its wasteful packaging, overwhelming advertisements, booming audio projection, suffocating use of technology, and dangerous byproducts in nutrition. The speaker is very concerned about all of these things and the whole poem seems to be teeming with annoyance and displeasure. The tone is boisterous and seems to be ringing with the thundering sound and hustle of capitalist America. The poem is even named “Capital offense” which, along with the rest of the poem, criticizes the country’s consumer nature and utter disregard for the harm on the environment and chaos it may cause.
ReplyDeleteThis poem validated the material obsession our society has and how detrimental it is to our character as human beings. One of the initial images (the screens that blink with words like “free” and “fantastic”) was reminiscent of how we walk around in a world controlled by the ad industry and dictated by the superficial; we constantly want more and that desire isn’t helped by an industry that projects the importance of objects in our lives.
ReplyDeleteThe words used to describe what the world will do also have a very intense connotation: murder, blind, deafen, slice, and saturate for example are extremely impactful and carry an intensity with them that emphasizes just how far the world has fallen. The diction also speaks to the regression of our planet away from the natural. “Citric acid” and “syrups” replace the unprocessed foods from years ago, and the kindness and care of humanity before is interchanged with pointless “taglines” and “quips”.
The ending stanza, shaped in an S-curve, spoke directly to this idea that our shallow society is so engrossed in the need for material wealth that we let huge corporations and industries mold us to fit their needs; we become desensitized to the innate feelings of humanity and let the world push us around until its needs are satisfied. We become the objects that we so passionately want.
"If you want money more than anything,
Deleteyou will be bought and sold.
If you have a greed for food,
you will become a loaf of bread.
This is a subtle truth.
Whatever you love, you are."
- Jalaluddin Rumi
I was drawn to this poem not because of the image above it, but because of the image that is created with the words below it. I love how you used technology being harmful in our society and molded it with a specific structure that is full of gaps. To me, these gaps were the parts that I was able to fill with my own thoughts and opinions on the matter of what I felt towards technology. As you talked about wifi hotspots choking you and your teeth being melted by acid, I could practically feel the hatred beneath the words and see the gaps where the hatred was allowed to breathe.
ReplyDeleteThe structure of this poem is curvy yet it also has sharp edges. To me, I imagined these edges were technology and other material obsessions putting you back on a track of uniformity until finally that last stanza is completely uniform. While many people try to move away from their obsession of material things, most times those obsessions keep you on a harmful path that only leads to unhappiness. Soon the words “apocalypse” and “sale” will mean almost the exact same thing because people will be so consumed by getting whatever something is for a lower price that they will forget real human attributes of empathy and companionship.
I feel like the last stanza is so important for the overall message you are trying to portray in that it feels so uniform—like you are finally brainwashed into the system of things—yet it is also so empty on the inside…literally and metaphorically. While we can see the stark change between that stanza and the rest, the blanks make it still feel a part of the poem as a whole and complete the message that maybe, even if we conform to society’s obsessions, there will still be a part of us willing to let those things go and fill the void with a new, intangible substance so that we may become whole again.
I was drawn to this poem because of how its theme and message directly relates to everyone today. We blindly follow orders and perform actions that can be detrimental to our health, without stopping to consider what we are doing or why. One of the points touched upon was that all the food we eat today is full of chemicals and unhealthy ingredients, yet we continue to eat it, never thinking about our health. We have accepted a standard of unhealthy and chemical-filled foods that will only hurt as time passes. In addition, we are constantly using our phones and technology, yet this also has a negative impact. Phones use up our time that we could use to do something productive and we never stop to consider how much time we are really spending on them. The same goes for the games we play using technology. They may bring us some joy at the moment we use them, but in real life they give us nothing. A third point in this poem is that in our consumerist culture, we are always seeing advertisements and buying goods. We are drawn to items that say free or discount, when we have no reason for buying them and they have no beneficial purpose. All of these messages made me feel like I should pay greater attention to to what I am doing and how I spend my time. I should ask why am I doing these things and are they beneficial?
ReplyDeleteAnother part of this poem that caught my attention was the image, especially where it says Narcotics - Why Not. We are constantly doing things for no reason besides to try them or because we are bored. Narcotics can be very dangerous for our health, yet people use them because they are bored and have no real reason for doing so. We need to start thinking more about what we are doing, rather than just living life with no purpose.
I really enjoyed this poem because I related it to the consuming culture of connectivity that I see around me. With widespread availability and access to the internet, it feels like everyone is mindlessly submerged in it—everywhere, all the time. I can say through my own experience that the dangers of this constant connectivity are particularly emphasized in teenagers and young children as they are raised with social media all around them. Every year as I grow older, it feels like apps like Instagram and Snapchat become more and more important in my life, like they are slowly taking over my identity until my physical, tangible self becomes an online photograph and my thoughts are reduced to the binary ones and zeros that program the ticking of likes on a post. And when I say slow, I mean slow—so gradual that we don’t even notice. And that’s not even the scariest part. The most terrifying thing is that, as it gradually takes our lives, our personalities, we come to crave it. The reality is that the people who develop these apps intentionally make them to be addictive, and they’re damn good at it. Just one drop of this artificiality makes us want to drown ourselves in it, so we do. The result is then passivity. We lose our individuality and we don’t care to get it back. The passivity is so easy that we can’t be bothered to ever produce another original thought and we can no longer comprehend the original dose of connectivity, how much we’ve fallen into the cycle, or the implications of this tragedy.
ReplyDeleteI was intrigued by this poem and its accompanying collage, not only because of its curved shape that is then mirrored in the last stanza, but also because it is relevant to the world today. With its title being “Capital offense” and the collage having a photo of people being arrested, I think the message is to show how the government has become more abusive of the power it holds, and then it ties in with the poem in its message of various addictions people have and the damage it eventually causes in the world. The ideas about technology stuck out to me the most in the poem. Even though I try to use technology as minimally as possible, the poem opened my eyes to how much I actually do use technology. In today’s society, it is near impossible to escape technology because of how much it can do for us and even though I try to not be on my phone all the time, I now see that my efforts to avoid extra use of technology have failed. I think that our dependency on technology has become too powerful and it will continue to tear our society apart. I feel like if our society continues to let technology dominate our lives, the barriers that we have subconsciously begun to create between each other will thicken and the world will be completely turned upside down, if it has not been already.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is an attack on modern society. The speaker notes the overwhelming use of advertisement in society, people’s dependence on technology, and the unhealthy uber-processed foods that people constantly consume. The part of this poem that really connected with me was the speaker’s comments on how technology has become a central part of our society and culture. I have seen the effects of this cultural dependence on technology first hand in my younger brother. Having grown up at a time when technology was much more developed, he always needs to be attached to an electronic device. In some ways this has had a negative effect on his education as it has taken him a much longer time to learn to read because he would rather have watched more exciting youtube videos or played the newest xbox game rather than spend time practicing his sight words. As time goes on and technology becomes more advanced and exciting, this could have a potentially harmful effect on our society as people become less connected to the real world and become more obsessed with all of the many forms of computerized innovations.
ReplyDeleteIn a circle, around the pink vinyl: the standards of beauty which society finds so much fault in. For every ambitious speaker series on loving yourself for who you are, there’s a book to read and put on the coffee table for other people to see how you’re truly a deviant from the norms of society.
ReplyDeleteThe two dolls, watching a childhood crumple under the ad pasted right above them for this special shampoo. The music, be it “Narcotics - Why Not” in a shrug of the shoulders and a few bills passed along, or a stern talking-to for those people who never really had a say anyways.
The trains in front of the city, stretching farther and farther because the urban areas are filling up fast and there’s nowhere to go but out.
And of course, where would we be without a few friendly officers, or the slightly disturbing rack of feet (they’re fake of course; everything is). The horizon’s just out of reach.
"Narcotics - Why Not ..." was a film-reel canister.
DeleteNot everything is fake. Too young to really be so jaded ~ there is beauty and genuineness in this world. It's just also important to recognize the layers that distract from that more deeply satisfying (meaningful) reality.
I feel that this poem effectively alludes to the dangers of modern society. In this day and age, we are connected 24/7 to the world around us through technology, decreasing the need for in-person interactions. We have created a culture dependent on technology, and we do not even realize it. As someone who has grown up in the digital age, I sometimes do not notice how often I use my phone and how it drives everything that I do. My phone is the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. This dependence on technology has created a culture of people who blindly follow the actions of others. If we see something that has become popularized on the Internet, we immediately follow suit because we are afraid of feeling left behind. In a way, we are currently in a technology apocalypse; similar to zombies in an apocalypse, we give little thought or concern to our actions, whether that is buying the latest Apple product or ignoring how our waste and pollution are harming the environment. We have lost our sense of independence and our ability to understand our choices or the reasons behind them. It has become so easy for us to be manipulated by technology, which is meant to move us forward, that without it we are lost, our choices meaningless and our attempts to make sense of ourselves only pushing us back.
ReplyDeleteI loved this poem. I think it is such an amazing ode to those who are willing to see and say something about the flaws of our modern, capitalistic society. I completely enjoy the way in which is flows and the aesthetic of having it form a zig-zag pattern. I think that it really shows the way in which, I believe, we as Americans buy into the trends and fads to feel technological and superior. The way in which we are letting our bodies be poisoned by radiation and chemicals in our food. Are these feelings true to the author, or was a speaker conjured for this particular poem? I love the way in which this poem is mostly satirical. In a current society where it is essential to speak up against its flaws, I think that this poem truly encapsulates all its issues. I love how the image is ambiguous, however, as the reader you can still point out parts that are incredibly meaningful such as the police men. This poem is simple, yet effective and truly made me feel connected and moved.
ReplyDeleteWhat incredible meaning do police have, for you? A genuine question...
DeleteAs a lifelong cheese-hater, this poem shocked and excited me with its first line. I believe cheese to be similar to a global hypnosis that everyone else seems under the spell of, while I simply can’t figure out the fascination. This poem, which goes on to indulge the reader in the countless ways materialism and capitalism strips humans of their humanity, is entirely unique and special in my eyes to any other poem about the same subject simply because of the first humorous observation. The imagery of the puppeteer-like qualities of society are emphasized through the sense of helplessness and overwhelmedness I observed in the author’s verbs. This unending assault is sadly accepted by the speaker as he realizes his role as a mere punching bag in this system, yet I feel that he knows that if he pursues a reason behind the chaos of materialistic inundation, he will ultimately be worse off spiritually than he is now.
ReplyDeleteThis poem seems to be a direct criticism of our modern society which is something I can appreciate. Plenty of times people think that the more modern something becomes, the better it becomes but I don't necessarily agree. I feel is Kuntzman seems to in regards to many of the topics he brought up like how we eat dairy as a part of our diets when it's intended for calves and fill our foods and drinks with added sugars and syrups to enhance the flavors or change them completely. JK's commentary on the heavy reliance on capitalism and consumerism in our culture is something I found interesting and rare. He also brings up our reliance on electronics as a source of entertainment and how that can cause us to feel "numb" and make us "choke". These words were strong in their uses but very hard-hitting and accurate. Sometimes I notice I'm using my phone or my computer way too much and then I feel an immediate need to not use it. I think this poem is really all about being trapped by technological and societal advancements and how those may not always benefit us as much as we believe they do.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't claim that my "commentary on the heavy reliance on capitalism and consumerism in our culture" is rare. Go into a park, find an old ex-businessman or burnt-out idealist, and you'll have a hard time getting them to STOP talking about the ills of capitalism (which is, ironically, it's own kind of meaningless noise). Underneath that complaint, that discontentment, however, there is a desire for meaning: and that's worth spending some time on, I think. So really, this poem lays out all the noise of the complaint as an invitation: "Look past all this shit. Can you tell me what it means to you? What has value for you?" That's a question worth focusing on.
DeleteI love how the poem portrays today's culture in a restrained but relatable manner. It lists references that we can easily notice but doesn't explicitly demonstrate our lives with the machines and products.
ReplyDeleteThe poem made me look my lifestyle in a different perspective. Until now, I've regarded myself as the subject of consuming plastics and using smartphones for my own comfort but this poem feels like I'm being dominated and spoiled by all these artificial products. For example, our senses like ears, fingers, eyes were being fully controlled by the electric device: blinded, deafened and numbed.
One of the interesting parts of the poem was the imagery of radio-waves slicing through us and cooking our brain. It made me imagine my brain in an oven called phone and our brain being burnt until it's colored dark black. Also, the way examples of white powders fall like a staircase makes me feel like I'm walking down the stairs that leads me to the corrupted dungeon.
I think “Just don’t ask me what it means” is a good ending to this poem because it shows that we don’t care about how our lives are being ruined by these unhealthy factors.
The poem is very enjoyable and refreshing to read because we live in a society today where the tangible things are all that matter. People can have all the money and things in the world but still be the unhappiest people in society. Money, as we have seen recently, can buy a college education at top institutions, but it cannot buy happiness. The reason this poem is so successful is because the capital offense in the capital society that we Americans live in is identifying with new technology, healthy diets, gucci bags, etc. Corporate America has control over society, and this poem speaks out against all of the things that these companies stand for. What does it all mean? The speaker of the poem cannot answer that question because in the world we live in today there is no way to predict anything. Who thought Donald Trump was going to win the presidential election when he first entered the race? Nobody did, not even himself. He was using it as a way to get more attention and look where he is now. The toxicity that exists is highlighted in this poem because the ending of the poem leaves the reader hanging. Nobody knows what is next and what the age of technology ultimately means.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this critique of our materialistic society mainly because it rings so true. The speaker is very critical of how we obsess over our electronics and how we love unnatural foods, machines and drugs. I think the allure of this poem lies in its relatability. I’d argue that most people can probably agree there are days when they too are caught up with life to step back and think about the meaning of their actions. But just because there are negatives doesn’t mean we should be so pessimistic about the modern world.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with those that take every opportunity to point out how rotten the world is becoming and how our current path will lead to inevitable doom. While there are undoubtedly several drawbacks of living in the modern age, there are countless benefits that outweight those negatives. While the speaker criticizes the unhealthy foods we eat, we are lucky to live in a place where we will never go hungry even if what we are putting into our body isn’t the best for us. Moreover, while technology is definitely not perfect, the ability to connect people across the planet, and the medical technologies we possess are surely worth the costs. All in all, we should always keep our world’s problems in perspective and not be excessively cynical when it comes to our future.
I agree that cynicism can create a kind of blindness to the resources that one has available to work with. I don't know how anyone could definitively conclude -- in this complex world -- whether the benefits "outweigh" the negatives, or vice versa. Is food convenient, if you have money? Yes. Do some people not have enough money and go hungry (including graduate students at public universities)? Also yes. Is some of that food fresh and healthy? Yes. Is some of it borderline toxic and addictive? Yes.
DeleteThat's not cynicism; that's the bittersweet balance of reality.
I just read your most recent poem about having the desire to write after reading something incredible, and this poem did that for me. Specifically the rhyme scheme, the way it almost danced, making a complicated and deep topic feel deceptively simple at first glance until you reach the end and realize it is a social commentary. Then you go back to read and you catch what the lines mean and realize their implications. I read this poem and thought I want to write like that. I don’t know when I will next write a poem because schoolwork is crazy, but thank you for reminding me for a moment how moving poetry is.
ReplyDeleteI like your use of action verbs; it makes it feel as though this speaker is facing an attack from the world, which is how capitalism can be. I can picture the Times Square billboards blaring in neon lights every product you need to buy to make yourself more perfect, more content, more special. Just like in the collage with the advertisement for “dandruff is inexcusable.” The way you’ve structured the poem is really fascinating as well; it feels as though the speaker begins to lose themselves to capitalism as the words become wavy and less structured, causing them to hold on more tightly at the end as the stanza regains its shape. I don’t know if that’s what you intended, but the movement of the words matched the flow of the song-like rhymes. Side note: I love the title.
You're welcome :) and Do it - I look forward to being moved by your poems, when you find a quiet corner to write them (loudly) in.
ReplyDeleteThis poem brings up my feelings of frustration with our modern world and the fast paced fake way it exists. Whether we are blindly or willingly subjecting ourselves to the literal over-processed foods or the garbage modern society fills our brains with, it seems everywhere you look there is no escape. You get no choice in being born into this false, unhealthy world. I think it is clever the double meanings of everything such as the food being unhealthy and our mouths spreading unhealthy speech like wildfire until everyone is consumed. It also brings up the idea of how everyone has a double motive. People are never doing things for themselves or to enjoy life, it's always about getting ahead and taking other people down. Everything is a competition. People feed unhealthy words to the completion as sabotage; no one is safe. In the collage there are images of police cuffing people and taking them away. Something else to note is the fact that there are way more police than there are normal people. I like this commentary of how now it seems like a) we cannot escape the police and b) maybe we are all slowly being turned into police. A force meant to uphold a certain set of values but they all are supposed to think and act the same. Along the same lines in the collage is the cityscape depicted. Everything is uniform and grey, just as we are becoming. All the same, no life in us. We are being sucked dry by this new outlandish society. It's almost like our lifestyles are taking all of the vibrancy and leaving us people with nothing.
ReplyDelete"People are never doing things for themselves or to enjoy life, it's always about getting ahead and taking other people down." Well...that's a bit extreme. Though I supposed I goaded the extremeness out of you, lol. There's lots of simple pleasures that people do take the time to enjoy. And lots of ways we support others in our communities. There's a lot of good in this world, alongside the shitshow circus: they both exist. We are all some proportion of both.
Delete"a) we cannot escape the police and b) maybe we are all slowly being turned into police. A force meant to uphold a certain set of values but they all are supposed to think and act the same." -- I think that is a pretty elegant and accurate definition of "Culture" :)
I found this poem a little ironic considering it is a criticism of today’s electronic and superficial world while being posted on the Internet, the main contributor of this “world,” although it’s hypocritical of me to judge since I’m sitting in front of my computer right now with my earbuds in and a million tabs open! But I really enjoyed this poem because it voices a lot of my own frustrations with today’s world. The way all the stanzas start with a command really reminded me of the way I acknowledge the issue with living in a time where everything is overstimulating and in-your-face, but I also like the ease that it gives my life. It makes me feel like we’re living in some kind of dystopian paradise, where everything is too easy and we aren’t forced to use our brains enough. The last sentence especially reminded me of this concept—we love to take advantage of all these new things that are available to us modern people, just so long as we don’t have to think critically. I’ve recently been very stressed with the state of the world, and this poem reminded me of how these issues are constantly shoved in our face and there’s no escaping it. Every day I wake up and I see some new horrible thing that happened when I go on my phone and I feel powerless to do anything about it. I really have a love-hate relationship with the internet since it lets us share art, like this, and other beautiful things, but it’s so incredibly overwhelming to look at since I feel like everything in the world is bad. But I can’t look away because if I did then I wouldn’t know what is happening around me. It’s a vicious cycle.
ReplyDeleteThe combination of satire and excellent imagery makes the bitter reality of the poem taste like a warm, delicious kind of sick American-childhood nostalgia soup going down. A couple weeks ago, I visited Europe for the first time, and the biggest souvenir I took home with me was a newfound embarrassment of being an American. This poem represents perfectly everything there is to be embarrassed about. Violent words signaling apocalyptic implications are tied to humorously unrelated–yet undeniably American objects, like cheese and video games and billboards. There is a constant implication that what is killing us, blinding us, slicing us up, and defacing our insides is a constant need for consumption, whether it’s physical consumption of terribly non-nutritional foods, or the consumption of a general verbal intensity that makes everything and anything deserving of one’s dread and fear. As my view of Americans has changed recently, one of the biggest things I’ve become embarrassed about and even ashamed of is the way Americans react so strongly to everything, jumping at everything that happens to them, whether it’s a fleeting mention of an upcoming apocalypse, or an upcoming sale. Yet, as emphasized by the final chunk of text, Americans can act like they know this. They know that the “system” is making them feel this way. However, they don’t know much more than that, and they don’t want to explain themselves either. In my eyes, the shape of the poem represents a flare or bomb, preparing to be thrown into the argument on America’s condition. Even after this, though, the flare or bomb will probably burn out and we will go back to being the same as we’ve always been. Consumption and fear have been bred to be understandable and excusable. However, don’t go thinking the same goes for dandruff.
ReplyDelete"I visited Europe for the first time, and the biggest souvenir I took home with me was a newfound embarrassment of being an American." ~ I think this may be my favorite line from the comments this year :) Perspective... is a great souvenir.
Delete