If you really want to break me,
Be kind to me first:
Making your voice such delicious joy
That I slow-breathe and relax.
If you really want to school me,
Come learn about me first:
Getting so close to my mind, you'll
Answer just as I start to ask.
If you really want to re-shape me,
Accept me as I am:
Lulling me into such soft self, your
Hands press directly into my raw soul.
If you really want to own me,
Keep me well first:
Adding to my days such gifts and joy,
My love for you becomes a truth I can't control.
While a basic bitch bears down
On my beaten skin—
Dragging flesh forward
Until its, or her own, demise—
An alpha bitch breathes
Into my half-full lungs,
Singing so strongly
That my mind's
Melody attunes
As its
own
Sounds
arise.
Your poem presents the perspective of two people until they end up converging into one when they have gained complete control. Each phrase in the first person begins with a conditional structure which creates a connection for me between this relationship and seemingly healthy ones that have a structure of consent behind them. In healthy relationships, there must be a strong level of communication with one another to make it work, but in this case one of them is trying to utilize that to their advantage. As trust is gained through the passage of these conditional statements, the other person becomes more vulnerable. Every starting phrase for the condition sets up a notion of harm or dominance, but instead of an aggressive message being sent after the conditional, it seems kind and understanding. Through this facade of kindness, they have an increased notion of being a safe space they can resort to and be their true selves, making the controlling person’s potential betrayal more devastating.
ReplyDeleteAs I have perceived from various friendships and other relationships, indeed, most of those that evoke such a strong feeling of betrayal within another person is from someone who has formally expressed some form of kindness to them or provided what seemed like a safe space. Influence over someone indeed doesn’t come from force or dominance but through love and empathy. Lines such as, “Making your voice such delicious joy / That I slow-breathe and relax”, show their progression towards a more symbiotic relationship with each other and relying on the other in a sense of well-being.
Thus leading to the contrast between the “basic bitch” and the “alpha bitch”. The basic controlling bitch, is the person that has the more traditional idea behind someone that is controlling, someone that inflicts pain and dominance explicitly, while the alpha controlling bitch is the one that follows the lead of the speaker, acting in a manner that can be easily perceived as benevolent kindness and care. I know that for me my loving relationships provide a deeper meaning within me than those who have only done me harm, but if those that I consider loving relationships utilize their position to do me harm, it would dominate my mental state more than each of those categories on their own.