Friday, March 15, 2024

Voices in my head ...

 
All my gods, and
                        Most of my my devils,
       Come to me with
                                               Their hair disheveled:

  With twitching eyes
                                                         And imperfect words,
    Not grand like planets
                                                                   Nor high like birds;

                                                        They get hungry and angry,
               Self-bound and distant,
                                                        Confused as they speak
                                    And lost as they listen;

                                                  Carrying old habits
                                                 That weigh them down
                                And wary of fresh thoughts
                                          Worth keeping around;

                               They get low and lonely,
                                                        Anxious and distracted,
                           With feelings de-coupled
                                                                        And faces overacted.

                                Yet some are my gods:
                                                        They teach me, despite
                                            Their own incompletions,
                               What is full, flowing, bright

                                                             In this life. And some, devils:
                                       They tempt me to chase
                                                 What is leaving them fractured,
                                                         Sunk, stagnantly braced.

                                         And I have to get so close,
                                   To see them as divine:
                                 From a distance, they simply
                                      Look like—
                                           friends 
                                                     of mine.

1 comment:

  1. I get the idea that believing in gods and struggling with one’s own problems or devils, so to speak, is prevalent in this poem, eliciting (to me) the feeling of questioning one’s own beliefs or morals and transforming through phases in life—learning one’s lessons and turning pain into wisdom, for example. In the beginning, your use of the word “imperfect” makes me think of how one’s problems and whatever one looks up to are complex, rather than black and white, and that this complexity is what makes one human (even the “gods” humans look up to can have imperfect personalities). “Confused as they speak,” to me, shows how leaders do not always know what to say or do (they can be confused in their course of action just like humans can be). To have “habits” is also very human, I think—and moving forward can be hard (being wary of fresh thoughts). I like that you added that your (or the speaker’s) gods can teach positivity, despite their incompletions. When you say, “I have to get so close, / To see them as divine” I feel that that idea is quite reminiscent of, or is talking about, how one can choose to see something (such as a deity, god, or devil) as positive or negative, and how getting close to it, or getting to know it better, can help one appreciate the positive in it, more than one does from a distance. I wonder if this is what you or the speaker means to communicate?

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