9 MONTHS UNTIL ...
“Rotten Cherry (or:
professionals and amateurs)”
We both say “I love you,” but
We mean different things.
She goes, “There's no other man like
you, for me.”
And I go, “There's never been anyone
else.”
She goes, “You have to be less
sensitive.
I've Never been with someone
where nerves was a problem.”
And all I can say
back is second-hand
scholarship:
“Sex is a reflection
of the
relationship.
Maybe it's the way we—”
And she goes, “No, it's not.
Christian and I
had a horrible relationship,
but the
sex was great.”
And I go,
“Oh—oh.”
5 MONTHS UNTIL...
“The Break (or:
feeling apart, before being apart)”
When we first started out,
I believed this was true:
“I'm just not good enough for
you.”
I was so immature
and had so much baggage;
so little experience,
and so poorly
managed.
Now I manage my tone,
I keep still, and I see
a thrash rising in you
as it's fading
from me.
You are so good in war,
but so quick out of peace;
what I needed
from you then,
now I want in you
least:
When you judge and you doubt
what I am and I give,
when you
“I just don't care”
at my “Live and
let live,”
When your name-calling cuts
meet my guard dropping down, I
feel peaceful—
like a fighter
forfeiting
mid-round.
Peace from what? From out of us;
for your fists lifted me
to such
a sharp, clear- eyed
calm—
that
I've let my
grip free.
… THE FIRST MINUTE.
“Love (the
beginning)”
I knew it when I walked out the door:
That's what being in love is like.
Not knowing how good you have it.
(That's what being in love is like.)
Feeling like you're perfect.
(That's what being in love is like.)
Because she believes you're worth it.
(That's what being in love is like.)
And thinking things could be better;
(That's what being in love is like.)
That, perhaps, we slow each other down,
together.
(That's what being in love is like.)
Saying, “Maybe we should take a break
for a bit.”
(That's what being in love is like.)
Hearing, “Do I love you too much? Am
I mean? Am I shit?”
(That's what being in love is
like.)
And trying to pretend, “I didn't mean
to say—”
(That's what being in love
is like.)
As she breathes, “Let's never speak
again, but I love you anyway.”
That's what being in love is like.
The poem’s self-described “3 act structure” shows the breakdown of two people over time, and how love can devolve into something almost unrecognizable by the end of a once seemingly happy relationship. Structurally, the poem is basically a countdown to the inevitable breaking apart of the relationship, starting from 9 months away, then 5, then “the first minute” of the separation. The speaker is in conflict with the lover in each of the stanzas, beginning with the discrepancy between how they view each other, stating “We both say ‘I love you’ but we mean different things.” The lover, who has obviously been in other relationships or been in love before, does not view the speaker as as important as the speaker views her. Whereas she says, “There’s no other man like you, for me,” he says, “There's never been anyone else.” Right off the bat, he is much more committed to their relationship then she is, and this discrepancy is one of the factors that inevitably drives them apart. The fighting increases until the “first minute”, when the speaker decides to leave, ultimately deciding that the pain and compromise and ultimate heartbreak that accompanies being with another person is, unfortunately and truthfully, “what being in love is like”.
ReplyDeleteThis poem stood out to me because of its title. The title takes something as raw, sensitive, and confusing as a breakup and makes it sound calculated, exact, and articulable. The contrast between the scenes being described in the poem and its title is intriguing and shifted my perspective before I read the poem. It almost reads as though the speaker is viewing this ending of the breakup very pragmatically or logically, as the poem is very straightforward and besides the dialogue, the poem is written in a very matter-of-fact matter.
ReplyDeleteThe diction definitely stood out to me in this poem. Across all of the words one could use to describe the ending of a relationship, “dissolving” feels so perfect, and if I had to choose one word to describe the ending being explained in this poem, I would choose “dissolving.” It shows that across the three sections that are visually separated, the relationship is slowly deteriorating.
My favorite part of the poem is probably the third section, because it shows the pain, hope, sadness, and anticipations that come with endings. Whether it be with a romantic partner, a friendship, or just a chapter of life, endings are always bittersweet. The repetition of “that’s what being in love is like” after every feeling the speaker describes almost validates the feelings one feels during a relationship, and while experiencing the end of a relationship. Love is different in every relationship, and in this one, the speaker’s descriptions of how he felt, such as “..because she believes you’re worth it,” are painstakingly sorrowful, and it hurt my heart reading it.