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| {flashback: 2015} |
If you were here,
I'd go to sleep early,
I wouldn't eat so many servings,
I'd have laughed a little more, and
been nervous about making you sad.
Been happy when you giggled.
If you were here,
I'd walk up next to you
just to see what you were doing
behind the corner.
And I'd help if I could,
not because I'm a goody-good,
but just because you'd say thanks.
If you were here,
you'd say
“don't go blind typing”
And I'd say “okay”
and think
Love you.
The speaker is speaking directly to a lost love. He explains all the things he would do if the beloved was where he is. It seems as if all the things he lists that he would do are tasks that are good for the speaker such as “I’d go to sleep early, / I wouldn’t eat so many servings, / I’d have laughed a little more, and / been nervous about making you sad. / Been happy when you giggled”. These little and simple tasks make the speaker better, in health aspects, mentally, and emotionally, and it implies that the lost love made him a better person so therefore without her, he is a lesser person. I find it interesting that the speaker clarifies that he would help his lover, “not because [he] is a goody-good”, but because he just wants her thanks. It is as if he needs to get his point of wanting to be selfless for his lover across clearly. Just doing something for the sake of being a good person is not enough for him. The reason he does anything seems to be for the happiness, gratitude, love, or any other attention grabbing reasons of the lover.
ReplyDeleteThe speaker addresses a love that in no longer in his life and explains what he would do different if his love was present. The poem presents the true feeling, that he misses her, that the speaker has towards his past lover; he proclaims that “I'd help if I could” (11) just to help her out and show that she is loved. He would do anything for her just to show how grateful he is to have her. Emotions flow through the poem, as the speaker reminisces of the love the two have. As the poem ends, the lover reminds the speaker to write with purpose, and the speaker “think[s] /Love you” (17-18). The speaker does not question his love, simply pauses on the love he has for her. Love, the main focus of this poem, is highlighted through the speaker’s attitude towards his former love.
ReplyDeleteThe speaker thinks about what he would do if his beloved was with him. He sounds almost regretful for not doing certain things when his love was around like when he states “I’d have laughed a little more, and / been nervous about making you sad” (4-5). It seems as though he would give his lover more attention, and treat he/she in a more devoted and passionate way than he had done so when they were together. The speaker expresses how much he cares when ensuring that he would help out with anything his lover needed “not because [he’s] a goody good, / but just because you’d say thanks” (12-13). This implies that he wants his lover to recognize his care, and is trying to make it clear that he will be there for his beloved to complete the simplest tasks or help out. The speaker probably had not acted this attentive and involved before, which is implied by the melancholy tone and language showing regret for not acting kind and loving sooner, which conveys his desperation for a second chance to show that he truly loves him/her.
ReplyDeleteThe speaker obviously misses a significant other. What I found interesting about this subject is the fact that the speaker determines his/her own well-being based on whether or not he/she is with said loved one. In the first stanza, the speaker mentions how he/she would “go to sleep early” and “wouldn’t eat so many servings” if the loved one was present (2-3). This implies that the speaker doesn’t seek self-improvement to improve oneself, but instead to impress someone else. The speaker argues that the source of our motivation to better ourselves lies not in our own perception of ourselves, but how we want others to perceive us. The speaker no longer feels that it is necessary to make improvements on his/her own person since there is no one that will see the results of this self-betterment.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to challenge your proposed claim ("the source of our motivation to better ourselves lies not in our own perception of ourselves, but how we want others to perceive us") on two fronts:
DeleteFirst, is this claim generally accurate? (I would say no; it's over-simplified). EG: "If my mom were here, I'd make my bed." To impress her? Maybe. But also to stop her from nagging me, and hopefully (this is in HER mind) because I begin to appreciate the neatness of my room, after she gets me into the habit of keeping it that way, and eventually because I prefer the feeling of being a neat person. It's not a "one or the other" dichotomy.
Second, is the poem actually making this claim? (No, it never directly states nor really implies that the speaker is seeking approval--only acceptance and love; not "good job [I am proud of you]" but "[I give] thanks [to you, as a helpful presence in my life]").
EG: "If you were here, you'd say “don't go blind typing” And I'd say “okay” and think Love you."
Her effect on him is not to make him more self-conscious, but to make him feel cared for. His response is not to try impressing her, but to return that affection. He doesn't think "Do you love me?" He thinks "[I] love you." :)
*that's his motivation :)
DeleteThe title has a prominent effect on the poem. Because the tone of the poem is regretful and a little bittersweet, the title helps convey the amount of thought that the speaker is putting into the situation, helping to reveal these emotions. There is evidence that the speaker felt nervous around this lover when he says "I wouldn't eat so many servings". However, this self-consciousness is a discomfort that the speaker is yearning for again. The speaker says "And I'd help if I could, / not because I'm a goody-good, / but just because you'd say thanks" and this shows the desire the speaker has of wanting to be in the life of this love. The human connection that the speaker is missing resonates with the reader because the speaker is feeling a loneliness that is unavoidable in the human experience. Also, the form of the poem, to me, represents the thoughts moving through the speaker's head as he thinks about all the "if you were here"'s, like the thoughts are coming into his head and being processed, if that makes sense?
ReplyDeleteI interpreted the title as referring to 4:30 am, suggesting that the speaker is in the midst of enduring a restless night, as they lay awake, their brain consumed with thoughts of a person they wish was laying beside them. I interpreted this person to be the speaker’s lover as I have been in this position, unable to sleep because my mind is racing with thoughts of longing to be with someone. The speaker clearly has a deep love for this person as they talk about the happiness they feel when this person is happy, which is a feeling I have definitely felt with someone I really love. The relationship is clearly beneficial to the speaker as they have a deep love for this person which brings them happiness.
ReplyDeleteI find it quite funny that we had such different interpretations of the same poem. I read the title as 4:30 in the afternoon, when you are tired from working all day and try to fight the restlessness by wandering around and finding a distraction. Being a second semester senior, I understand I am completely projecting, because when I read the poem, I imagined it as a college student living away from home for the first time. They are used to bugging their parents when they get tired of doing their work, but now they do not have their parents to follow around, get advice from, or talk to anymore. It is a process for them to learn how to function independently in unexpected ways, but one that must be learned. Maybe this is a lesson that can be learned in a separation from a romantic interest or one’s family alike. I do not know the author’s intent in writing this — most likely along the lines of your interpretation — but I think it is the universality of the lesson the speaker that is trying to learn that allows both of us to come up with such different contexts for the lesson.
DeleteLauren: Yup.
DeleteAnnika: Nope ;) but also - ("It is a process for them to learn how to function independently in unexpected ways...Maybe this is a lesson that can be learned in a separation from a romantic interest or one’s family alike") yup.
This poem is about a lost love who the speaker believes made them a better person. When the poem begins, the speaker states clearly “If you were here… ” and then begins the list the healthier and happier things he would do if only his significant other was around (1). As the poem flows down the page, there are jumps and gaps between words in the middle of particularly sad sentences, physically portraying the devastating tone of the poem. This poem reminds me of a person stuck in time, refusing to move on without the presence of their lost love. Although specific, I can imagine that people during their first heartbreak would feel the same, as if time has stopped once a partner leaves them, no matter the circumstances. This poem seems to be stuck in time, yet the message is clear and easy to relate to, as everyone will have heartbreak during some time in their life.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read this I immediately thought of someone who missed someone that they never had. It is titles 4:30, I think it is 4:30 am. This early is a time of delusion when you are so tired you are stuck in this thinking loop. Every line of this I pictured someone who just longed for someone that they could never have, like the biggest crush ever. Maybe just being a teenager I see it this way, but I kind of feel bad for this person. Clearly he or she has romantic feelings for someone and either they do not know or they do not feel the same way. I get that. It hurts, it stings, but you get through it. You put so much thought into the way you look around them, the way you act around them, the way you laugh around them, that you put it so much into your head. It is something that this person keeps thinking about and has just kept putting "what ifs" in their head, making it more devastating the more you think about it. The last part really hit me. They just want to be cared about and worried about and through that they are shown love.
ReplyDeleteI think that this poem is about the speaker who has lost a lover. The speaker reminisces on how his or her life would’ve changed in order to complement their lover’s. The poem is bittersweet because it is clear how much the speaker loved the other, and the lover clearly shaped the speaker’s life, even though the speaker would’ve ever mentioned it. It is interesting because I think that the speaker and their lover spent so much time together that the speaker knows what reaction their lover would’ve had if the speaker was doing a certain action. Even at that moment, the speaker is “blind typing” at 4:30 in the morning, and knows that the lover would’ve stopped this poem, but because the lover is not here, the result is the poem.
ReplyDeleteI think that the speaker still very much loves their ex-lover, because they think of all the ‘what-ifs.’ However, because their lover isn’t here, I think that the speaker finds it depressing to find that no matter what he does, it doesn’t make a difference to their current situation, which is that they are separated, and there is no meaning of thinking of their lover.
After reading this poem, it reminds me of my personal life as I reminisce about my loved ones who are not with me anymore. When I think of them, it gives me feelings of grief for their absence but also happiness and love as I reflect on our best times together. Just like in the poem, if my loved ones were on this earth I would be at my best mental state, grateful to have them with me. I interpret this poem as the author speaking upon someone who has died in his life or even about a past lover - it is definitely someone who the author saves a special place in his heart for. The simplicity of this poem allows the reader to apply their own life experiences to the poem, something that I personally am able to do as I connect my emotions regarding my deceased loved ones. The bright colors of the collage symbolize the author’s creative imagination and capacity to think deeply over this special someone that he wishes he could spend time with. Also, I interpret the bright colors of blues, greens, and reds to be positive which leads me to the conclusion that the author has only positive thoughts over this special someone. The statement “if you were here” is something that I say when I wear my uncle’s sweatshirt. The statement “if you were here” is something I think about when I look at the photograph of my aunt and I on vacation.
ReplyDelete