Why do I like an exercise ball?
Because something not still
Forces me to be still;
That's all—that's all.
When my hands are on the ground,
The ground remains unchanged—
No matter how much I
Tense, misalign, strain.
But the ball only
rocks to rest or
Smoothly rolls until here's
The pressure of my forceful
Hands, taking hold:
Then it shakes and quivers, not like
A ball at all; like a gramophone
Bell, bearing waves out of
Me—my own (
Which is to say, off-centered, too
stiff,
Undecided). The ball takes
Every back-forth of my
Soul; makes me ride it.
Nervous, I call it a joke; a toy.
But then I sit, bouncing for
rest, on its horizon: slowly
stopping, closing my eyes on—
Now I try to raise my feet;
The ball rolls out from under.
I lie on the floor, heels above
Me; the ball wanders.
I press my elbows on its top
And inch my toes back:
Arms wobble, my girdle
Tightens; the ball laughs.
My violence echoes down to nothing
In that green-rubber space, every
Time I'm pressed against
Its calm, calm face
With my tremoring muscles, my fear that
I'll fall (while out from its center
springs
One silent mantra: “You know
What never topples? A ball.”)
Most exercise balls are clear or opaque, flexible and spherical. The speaker of this poem seems to have a love/hate relationship with these aspects. In the first stanza, repetition of the same words and phrases shows the relationship between the speaker and the ball, “Because something not still/ Forces me to be still; That’s all--that’s all”. The premise of the speaker’s relationship begins and ends with the contrasting detail between itself and himself: movement. Throughout the rest of the poem, flexibility and movement are represented in the ball--its ability to change and move in its environment. The speaker begins to personify this “toy” that “shakes” and “laughs” in his presence. The final line of the poem cements the jealousy of the speaker: “What never topples? A ball.’)”. While the speaker experiences slight fear and jealousy due to the attributes of the exercise ball, the lasting impression leaves one remembering the importance of continuous change and acceptance of it.
ReplyDeleteWhere do you see signs of "jealousy" in this poem? Liking, nervousness, learning...this is a student-teacher relationship.
DeleteI can see that the poem has a very dynamic movement to it; each stanza has its own focus. In the first stanza, I can see that the man who narrates likes the contradiction between the ball’s instability and how it in fact helps him stabilize himself in an emotional way. In the second stanza, he emphasizes the last three words, “tense, misalign, strain” by putting them alone in their own line. I think he tries to emphasize any frustration he might be feeling by letting those words stand alone. As the stanzas continue, the narrator plays with the idea of the ball’s imbalance and his own imbalance, finding comfort in the paradoxical stability of an exercise ball. When the man says “The ball takes/Every back-forth of my/Soul; makes me ride it”, I think he’s trying to show that the ball makes him question and ponder his life and his decisions. I can sense that he jumps back and forth between appreciation for the ball and indifference, especially when he calls it a toy in stanza 6, but then expresses the multiple ways he uses the ball in other parts of the poem. Obviously, the ball is very useful for him in deeper ways than just as an exercise tool, for example, it brings him comfort as he says, “My violence echoes down to nothing/In that green-rubber space”. The poem as a whole jumps between emotional balance and imbalance in every stanza, but in the end the narrator makes it clear that the ball is a source of balance and comfort from his own struggles.
ReplyDeletePeople, as they become more sure of themselves and confident, become more adaptable and flexible. "Well-rounded" is the classic term. The human speaker takes the ultimate rounded teacher as his model: a ball that never topples and that is always calm, save when reflecting the student’s nervousness in “gramophone” waves.
ReplyDeleteWhen the speaker is on common ground, in his comfort zone, he doesn’t grow. Because the ground gives no feedback, the student is only forced to confront his errors when he makes too many mistakes and falls over. The ball is round and exaggerates errors of balance, forcing the student to improve his balance beyond what he could take from the unyielding earth, and is a much better teacher.
The ball only “shakes and quivers” under “The pressure of my forceful / Hands, taking hold”. It gives the speaker input he could get from the ground. The speaker talks about “my violence,” and how he is “too stiff/undecided, and “nervous.” Willingness to take up the ball, despite misgivings about himself shows the speaker is dedicated to improving, and will therefore make a good student.
When I read this poem, the message strongly resonated with me. The image of an exercise ball was extremely creative and clever, as I never would have thought about how something that is thought of as recreational as a ball could be thought of as stabilizing. As Kuntzman said, “something not still / forces me to be still” (1-2), and this is something that rings true in many areas of life. Often times, when things are going awry and changing, it is most important for you to stay true to yourself and be there for those who need it. This is what I took the poem to mean, as the ball will move and roll around and create chaos if you do not work to hold it down and keep it stable.
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