“There's nothing business about this
beer.”
I have to remind myself.
“Sometimes people just like that I'm
here,”
I have to remind myself,
“Something about this-I-am is good,
Beyond what I've come to see:
A part beyond useful, helpful;
that's
Enjoyable. Here in me.”
So I'm starting to teach myself,
As for a sullen child I might do,
“Just stop! Don't cry, don't doubt;
Say and know: who cares for you?”
Who loves you in a quiet way?
Who supports you imperfectly?
Whose smiles do you remember,
Cast toward your eyes, for free?
“Even as you doubt them, they
Wish you well. So there's a start:
Wrap their stubborn love for you
Around your stubborn heart.”
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ReplyDeleteSelf-hatred is a powerful thing, and doubt is just more weight upon the soul. That desire to not be a burden upon others is becoming a more and more common motivator with the passing of time. It takes away our happiness and joy that we receive so graciously from others. It forces us to feel guilt over every imperfect action or feeling because we cannot believed that we are loved by others. And yet we know it’s ludicrous. We are loved for a reason, accepted for a reason. We are kind, generous, and mostly good people. Yet, it is impossible to convince ourselves of this. Why? Why are we just so “stubborn”? How are we able to believe that no one loves us, when we are assured of our love for others. The whole situation is ridiculous and the speaker is aware of this, for the final phrase of the poem is a realization of this love we see from others. The statement is impactful not simply because it is at the end, but because it is the end of such a trivial controversy. The love you recieve from others, proves their love for you and it really is as simple as that.
ReplyDelete"The statement is impactful...[passive voice, no specific recipient]." Do you notice that you never mention yourself or your own feelings in this post? I do ;)
DeleteThis poem brought me back to a hard time in my life. I continually struggle with depression and one year it got to the point that I believed I would be happier if I was gone. Like the speaker in this poem I had to continuously remind myself that I had reasons to live. Everyday I felt like I had no purpose, I had no want to do anything, but then I would stop and remember all those who cared for me. When I would truly get to the point that I saw no value in myself, I would remember that there are people who I can lean on and would miss me if I was gone. Even when my self hatred and the want to slip away was so powerful, the love and support from friends and family always brought me back, and I would “Wrap their stubborn love for” me “Around [my] stubborn heart”. This poem was not the easiest thing for me to read because of those reason’s but it reminds me also of how I got past that point in my life and all the people who do care for me. Thank you for writing this truly beautiful and true poem.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome - I realized a few years back that all of my grumpy, brooding poems did nothing for me, even if I wrote them really well. It was the one's like these that came back into my mind and helps me when I was feeling low ... I'm glad they mean something to you, too: that makes one more person who's happy your around in this world.
Delete2017 November 15
ReplyDelete“A warm place…”
This piece deals with the speaker’s tendency to need to find a functionality in his presence. This pragmatism leads him to feel out of place when simply enjoying himself while relaxing or spending time with others in a friendly, non-business setting. It can be very easy to get caught up in the tasks one must complete on a daily basis that one begins to lose one’s ability to let go and live in the moment. This preoccupation with our obligations and purpose in every situation of daily life can also lead to a feeling of loneliness, as meaningful relationships become foreign to us the more we busy ourselves with work and being “useful.” The speaker begins to ask himself about the meaningful relationships in his life, indicating that although he fails to recognize their presence during his busy daily routine, those who love him will continue to “love [him] in a quiet way” until he notices. I liked the concluding idea of wrapping love around one’s heart, as it brings up an image of a shield protecting the heart and its vulnerabilities from the harsh, business-focused outside world. It reminds us that love persists even when we fail to appreciate it fully.
Reading this poem, I get a warm feeling myself; I think the moment where someone starts to understand that there is another person who cares for them and gradually begins to accept that, is beautiful. This poem in particular stood out because the thoughts and words are familiar to me, not because I have personally thought them, but rather because I have heard a similar from others who I care deeply for. At the same time, while I have not been in that deep, dark place myself, I have felt the warmth of being cared for by another, and knowing that the feeling would be multiplied by someone who receives it less often, I can only imagine the impact that it would have on that person.
ReplyDeleteThe picture used to accentuate this poem suits it really well. This poem is all about the feelings that come with receiving love and realizing that you are worth it. When someone feels valued, it’s enough to stay with them for a while. With feelings that are new to the speaker who faces moments of doubt and has to remind himself that “a warm place” exists for him, he finally understands that there is someone out there who loves him.
When I try to pinpoint what it is about me that people consider “enjoyable” or capable of being loved, I often don’t get an answer. I think I’m kind and friendly, but I don’t think those are good enough reasons to love someone. Why should I even doubt that I deserve to be loved and can actually be loved? Those are the times I would have to teach myself, “Just stop! Don’t cry, don’t doubt; say and know: who cares for [me]?” It sounds like saying and knowing is a command, not a suggestion, because of course there is someone who cares for me. I only have to see and know it. Even on days when it feels like nobody in the world can be bothered enough to care, there is someone who loves me quietly, and yet sacrificed Himself in the greatest act of love. There is someone who knows my flaws better than myself and still chooses to stay with me. That person’s smiles are cast down towards me as freely as the gift of grace was given to mankind. I know this because only a stubborn love greater than all of mankind’s doubt and fears put together is able to surpass reason; to love me, and everybody like me, without reason. So I ask myself again, “what about this-I-am is good? A part beyond useful, helpful; enjoyable, here in me?” I don’t have an answer. Or the answer is nothing. It is not me that is good, but the one who is able to love me despite my worthlessness, despite my self-pity.
ReplyDelete