.JPG)
Fucking razor nose-jobs
And lip-puffs –
bow masking,
enunciation sausaging –
Goddamn Botox
forehead-freezing poison
Fucking boob-job
tissue excavating
nipple numbing
sub-dermal balloons.
Fucking … some crush
I had, or high school
I had, or high school
student body president
who really had her
shit together: who
were both smart and
confident and
impressive and
Fucking SEXY.
Goddamn. To be
A news anchor.
Goddamn. To be
a pretty wife.
Goddamn. You were.
You were.
Both of you.
So beautiful.
I said once, to a tat-
too, “Scars are art,”
for they do, they
sing on the skin;
they don't
deny what's
beneath.
I loved you
at neutral, at
plain, at “This
I was born into
and this I am
becoming.”
You were clear, like
a window; easy
to look past, like
a grass field –
beyond it, sky.
This, this they
made you – a burnt
forest, scar-puckered
and opaque of expression –
steals my eloquence,
my passion and empathy,
like does a foam cup
ageless and form-pressed ...
they own your shape; pleeease –
don't let them pour out your spirit.
from 'Explore Plastic Surgery' site by Dr. Barry Eppley – why does no one cry “racist, ethnocentric” against THIS? Because it's so endemic to the culture of cosmetic surgery that this claim of inherent aesthetic inferiority doesn't even register as an insult – fucking assholes:
ReplyDelete"Background: Changing the inherent shape of the African-American nose is one of the earliest forms of ethnic rhinoplasty in the U.S. The rhinoplasty goal is not to make it look like a Caucasian nose as this is both unnatural and often just ends up just creating an abnormal nose shape that does not fit the face. Rather the goal is to refine the nose, making it have more distinct components that enhance the face through in increased projection.
...
Case Highlights:
1) The African-American nose has a structure typified by a low nasal bridge, a wide and flat tip and and increased nostril width.
2) The African-American rhinoplasty aims to increase dorsal height and tip projection and narrow the tip and nostril width. In essence, pulling the nose forward from the plane of the face.
3) The key component of the African-American rhinoplasty is structural support for augmentation, using either cartilage grafts or synthetic materials. The thickness of the nasal skin will ultimately affect the degree of refinement obtainable."
hey man,
ReplyDeleteI really like a lot of your stuff and I think this poem gives an interesting perspective on an issue that our society knows all too well. The first stanza is almost like somebody violently shaking you awake, with the harsh use of expletives giving it a sort of pounding rhythm. As to content, I really appreciate your creation of two forms for the female of your affections. She exists in both the physical world and as an almost spirit-like entity that contains the elements of her personality. This notion is driven home by the third stanza, in which you firstly address the deepest hopes and desires of her internal self, than shift towards her superficial need to be "pretty". All the while she doesn't notice her inherent beauty both as a physical being and as a person. I kind of equate the latter half of the poem to somebody watching a horrible car accident happen. They are powerless to stop it, just as you are powerless to stop your once beautiful woman from turning herself into an abomination (an idea accented by the imagery of desolated nature). Lastly, I viewed the final lines of the poem as tying into the elipsis included in title. It is almost as if you are clinging to a last shred of hope, that despite her self-inflicted mutilation, that she can resist the conforming nature of society and can remain beautiful on the inside. I hope my interpretations aren't too far off, I look forward to hearing what you think.
-Sam S
I can't really claim I "created" them - two girls I went to high school with (you'll have your 10-year reunion soon enough, Sam ... time wormholes in retrospect).
DeleteAnd I do hope - there are some girls who, if they got plastic surgery, I wouldn't be surprised. Those don't hurt so much. It's the ones you never dream would have themselves cut into - or who you respected/admired so much that you hope they never would ... those are the ones that hurt.
All you can do is scale back that hope to allow for the new reality, and keep small-hoping for the best.
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI really loved this poem, but I'm not sure if I'm interpreting it the right way, so I apologize in advance.
In the first stanza, the blatantness of the diction immediately narrows focus on the ideas that in the stanza --the idea that people try and change themselves to be a better version of how they see themselves. This theory connected with me personally because the pressure of the city I live in makes me and others my age feel like they have to be perfect in order to succeed, including how you look.
Then, for the rest of the poem, i took it as describing a girl you had a crush on in high school and how she had changed you because you thought you had fallen in love with her (again, very relatable because i too thought i had fallen in love in high school and looking back at my past, as do many, see it as unrealistic and naive). The way you described her as an emotional, yet physical love pushed the notion that you thought you had fully fallen in love with her.
However, at the end of the poem, I interpreted it, that she had broken your heart, but also took the personality that had made you happy with yourself out of you. In essence, that she broke what made you your idea of perfect and you are warning others not to change who you are to comply with the idea of someone else's standards.
Additionally, my favorite line in this poem is “Scars are art”. I was wondering what made you say this and if has any personal connection to your life? For me, i see scars as something that can be self inflicted or as something that has caused me pain and left a physical mark. With this in mind, it seems that the girl has literally left you broken with only a scar to reveal your past. But i was also wondering if you meant to imply both meanings with the idea that because you changed yourself to meet her priorities that your new/ changed self is an example of a scar and by describing the scar as art it is a metaphor that you have used this experience to create a beautiful piece of art in the form of the poem?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your poems,
Nikki
Actually, this is one of the few poems that ISN'T centered on me: it's a meditation on plastic surgery. The subjects in the poem are two girls from high school -- one who I was attracted to, the other who I was just impressed with -- each of whom "got work done" in the form of a boob-job and a nose-job, respectively.
DeleteThe fact that I adored them, however, is not meant to be the focus but rather the vehicle for highlighting what plastic surgery takes away from its victims:
"You were. Both of you. So beautiful. ... clear, like a window; easy to look past, like a grass field – beyond it, sky." That's how I used to be able to look at them them, from their clear surfaces all the way down to their spirits -- that was their beauty.
But surgery muddies that surface, making it hard to see the beauty below; it hides their spirits from view:
"This, this they made you – a burnt forest, scar-puckered and opaque of expression – steals my eloquence, my passion and empathy,"
So by the end, I'm just asking them, please, not to lose their souls, since their forms are already stolen ... by some fucking predatory surgeons (see the collage above for REAL images of what these asshole "doctors" do in the name of "beauty").
Oh, and that line you liked, "scars are art," was me alluding to an old poem of mine -- Tattoos -- because there I had lauded ink as a form of self-expression (putting your spirit on the skin). So I was invoking it here to emphasize the difference: tattoos can be a form of spiritual expression, but plastic surgery is ALWAYS a form of spiritual concealment -- self-denial as opposed to self-embrace.
Delete"Tattoos: Scars are art, you know.
I know you, short hair to strap shoe.
Your soul creeps skin deep.
Your shoulder says “Norwegian”:
shield boats bearing oars;
an ocean-skinned, helmet-headed, bearded
man of the sea.
Your elbow knows prison:
spider-webbed,
hiding among some colored blotches.
The free men notice.
Just one on you –
split skin shows
a green scaled forearm:
you are a dragon.
Patterns, colors,
no words,
no forms:
your skin is humming.
Your arm boasts
a large, lustful,
nubile, naked woman:
never thought of living to fifty, marriage.
Small of back:
look at my ass.
“So cute,” say your sisters
(love-my-body begging).
Roughly, a skull
nested in between thumb and pointer skin,
hand-done, ink and needle:
I am my canvas."
Okay that makes more sense now. The fact that they changed how they looked on the outside (physically changing their appearance forever), they should never let themselves change whats on the inside? Now all they have left is their personalities and their ideologies --their souls. I definitely do agree with your viewpoint on plastic surgery.
ReplyDeleteThank you for relating the line "scars are art" to physical appearances because now i not only understand the poem better, but your poem "tattoo" as well. I love the connection that even though you can change what you look like, but how even though by getting a tattoo you are technically changing your body, because it has meaning (or is suppose to) it, in itself, is a form of art and therefore self expression.
I continued to read your poem "Tattoo" and i love this one, as well -- I have always been begging my parents to let me get one. My favorite line in this poem is "Your soul creeps skin deep" because for me it implied that the tattoo is a representation of an important part of yourself and in essence a part of your soul. I love the idea that by putting a tattoo on your body, you are putting a part of yourself on view for you and others to see and always having a visual representation of a part of yourself. I do not know if this is what you were intending to imply, but that is what i took from it and it gave a new perspective and meaning to the tattoo that i want to get.
Additionally, by describing all of the different types of tattoos it portrays how everyone can have a different image inked onto themselves, but at the end of the day, they all, at their base, mean the same thing being a representation of a part of their souls.
Thank you for your response and sharing this second poem with me,
Nikki
**Remember, though - not all tattoos represent the best in a person: of the 7 tattoos described, 1-4 are reflections of personal history or personality, but 5 and 6 are reflections of youthful naivete and insecurity ... probably not something they'll want inked on their bodies 30 years downstream.
DeleteIt wasn't until I was 25 that I settled on a tattoo that really reflects who I am (make sure you know who you are -- and always WILL be -- before you commit to inking it on your skin).