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She broke along
the axle of her compass-
wheel, listening
to a song one-too-many spins
in a CD tray,
closed in,
hot with laser light,
faster than she could see.
She hated the song,
too predictably complete;
through the window
threw a piece of paper:
crossed out, slower
than she could feel,
predictably smooth,
nothing to a laser (neat).
She cried a little, like a failure
does, dreaming the world
praising what she was (
despite her not yet
having been worthwhile),
Then stopped, like a girl might,
went out to the grass (at night
cold and crunching),
bent down, brushed
& blew the paper,
still dry enough.
It made her
laugh, to tear it (more so
than that spiteful crumpling
). And a dog came over
To smell her, low.
She scratched
His pivoting ears
Just so: “I
Needed to
Feel some-
thing,”
She sang
, “I need-
ed to
Feel
So-
me-
th-
in-
g.
”
For the three pictures that came very close together, of Aurelie's mother petting a donkey, Val petting a cheetah, and Kara petting a dog on the beach. It's so obviously far beyond logic, so much more grounded than the spacey way that thinking spins: we all need to feel something.
ReplyDelete*lines 18-19: ”Dreaming the world / praising what she was” (You know – like Huck Finn got to do – I think a lot more people would off themselves if they actually believed they'd get to listen in on the eulogies.)
There is something particularly beautiful about this poem, that really makes me appreciate such relative themes and feelings caused by the poem's detailed language and structure.
ReplyDeleteI feel the girl's actions and emotions allow the reader to imagine the experience and be able to relate to those random thoughts you get while driving home at night. You have a knack for visualizing and sensitive activities of daily routine and you work is phenomenal.
The collage is also a beautiful piece of art; again, with brilliant use of color. It is almost as if it illustrates what the girl in the poem feels, and again is an aid for the reader to clearly visualize what feelings the poem is trying to evoke.
Great work!
Rebecca R
Every so often, the picture inspires the poem (rather than the poem guiding the creation of a picture).
DeleteIn this case, my friends posted these 3 pictures online within a day or 2 of one another, and those pictures got me thinking about the nature/importance of touch. Poof.
There is something so tragic and yet so beautiful in brokenness, and I love the way you portrayed the disconnection from the girl to her surroundings through aspects of life that should evoke natural connection. Music should be a source of engagement, yet once in the fierce grasp of repetition, it has no emotional effect on the girl. An image of a hot laser, a feeling of closing in, a smooth piece of paper, cold and crunching grass, the fur of a dog- all tangible experiences that should evoke feeling through touch and do not. And then the eerie, spoken repetition at the end of the poem that mirrors the mentioned repetition at the start- I really enjoyed how the repetition acts as structural “bookends” for the poem. This is a poem that begs for connection and it really spoke to me. Thank you for your work!
ReplyDelete-K Bacich
"cold and crunching grass, the fur of a dog- all tangible experiences that should evoke feeling through touch and do not."
Delete"the paper ... It made her laugh, to tear it ...
And a dog came over ... She scratched
His pivoting ears Just so ... She sang ... "
?
I have to agree with both K Bacich and Rebecca R. Their comments concerning this poem were perfectly stated. I love the artwork that is associated with this poem. The transition from dull colors on the left to bright colors on the right correlate with the transition of attitude within the poem.
ReplyDeleteI thought the way you separated the words was beautifully done. The brokenness of the words relate to the girl and her surroundings, adding a perfect touch to the poem as a whole.
All of your works are beautifully phrased and executed, this is just one of my favorites! Great work and thank you for sharing your talent with the rest of us!
Makenna K
When I read this, I think of a failure to communicate which can always be a hard thing to do for an artist when everyone around you doesn't understand. She cannot articulate ideas, thoughts, and emotions on a piece of paper as though they were that simple. She could be struggling to come to terms with something or trying to tell someone something or longing for a lost love, but either way, she tries to communicate an emotion that just can't be put into the right words until she realizes that it just has to be good enough because it will never be perfect. And when she goes out to retrieve her attempt at translating her feelings, it's then that she finds a companion.
ReplyDelete