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You are, are,
un-negotiably beautiful
You. Not the girl I'm dreaming of.
You. Not the sun or the stars
or the birds or anything
Perfect I'd compare
some pretty thing too.
You: you are
beautiful
as you.
Look
closer
than you
have. Right
down to the skin.
You are fascinating,
pulsing and sweating,
red and shining and in, in,
you
there is more than your nails
or
eyes. You shine like you, reading
my
words. Make them yours, love: rise.
Whenever you have a new post, it makes my day. Thanks for sharing your work!!!
ReplyDelete- BR in the TC
This is a beautiful poem. I love the unique use of punctuation/format. I was drawn to read this poem because of the image above of the girl. It is a beautiful picture; however after reading the poem, I felt as though it didn't quite correlate with the poem. The speaker is talking so uniquely about the girl's beauty, sneering at the stupid cliche comparisons to the stars, birds, flowers, sun, and dreams that so many poets have and continue to use. He simply says she is as beautiful as herself which could be seen as a neutral comment but obviously the speaker means it as a compliment. Perhaps he suggests that the girl is the prettiest thing he sees and therefore she is compared to herself (the prettiest thing)? I love how the speaker disregards all the conventional methods of flattery of beauty and talks of the girl "pulsing and sweating, red and shining." Because of the "rawness" in which the girl is described, I would have expected a more fitting image... not a clearly beautiful girl amongst stars but rather an unedited picture of perhaps a not-so-obivously-stunning girl. For before the poem, the reader would probably judge the picture, questioning such an ordinary-looking girl and then after the poem, looking back at the image and realizing/finding beauty in it, in the simple humanity, the simple "being." This is a beautiful poem and I enjoyed it immensely and it's inventive form of flattery.
ReplyDeleteDanielle K.
Thanks for challenging the picture ;)
DeleteNotice who the girl is sharing the space (literally outer space) with: a sheep (female sheep ... so technically a ewe - pronounced "you" ... how clever am I?).
You want a "not-so-obivously-stunning girl," there she is - just as "pulsing and sweating, red and shining" pretty as the girl.
They're both beautiful, and incomparable - or as comparable - to one another as either is to the stars: they are first and foremost themselves - and fascinating and worth appreciating in that right alone.
I hope the image seems a little more fitting now.
This poem reminds me of something I heard in a movie I watched recently; "Robin [my girlfriend] is better than the girl of my dreams. She's real." I find it true that beauty should not be quantified by a comparison to some hypothetical creation. It's often considered romantic and adoring to compare a desired person to the ideal image of all that is seen beautiful in the world. And yet it creates the opposite effect as it minimizes the beauty found in that person, and rather emphasizes the aesthetics of the compared object. I admire the authenticity of your poem as the refusal to compare the girl's beauty to anything else and the repetition of "you" convey a greater intimacy and sincerity between the speaker and receiver of the poem. Overall I find it quite refreshing to read a poem of admiration utilizing such straight forward language. It's typical for writers to fill their works of love with flowery language, but I enjoy the realness in your description.
ReplyDeleteThank you ... like, a thank-you. ;)
DeleteFirst glancing at this poem I knew I wanted to read it, because of the complex picture. It was this stunning girl with nature and stars surrounding her yet it also portrayed an eerie and mysterious feeling. This picture really caused me to take a second glance and want to read this poem due to its positive imagery that conveyed a sense of love yet possibility a hidden twist. When I began to read the poem I noticed all the passionate, loving, and genuine imagery that was describing this girl. It seemed as if even if sometimes she had some flaws such as when she was “pulsing and sweating, / red and shining” (16-17) she was still perfect to the speaker. This speaker seems to act as if this girl is incomparable to anyone else he has ever met. I believe this poem has a little bit different tone than some of the other poems. It is more uplifting and heartful. I was not able to find any hidden messages so maybe I was wrong on the mysterious feeling you get from the picture.
ReplyDeleteYou're close -- the poem isn't about how much the speaker sees that girl/boy/hermaphrodite/lycanthrope/etc. as perfect. Rather, it's about how much the speaker wants that subject to see itself as perfect -- simply for being what it is.
DeleteThat's why it's called you: you, Lauren -- or Amy or Danielle or Ruthie in the comments before you -- this is for you all to remember that you are beautiful, every pore and nail and tooth and hair and other societally-slurred "inelegance" is a manifestation of beauty.
Always keep that close to your heart.
I love the portrayal of beauty in this poem. I take the repetition of the word “you” to mean that there is no common scale to measure beauty and it can only be measured according to one individual without comparison to anyone or anything. The speaker acknowledges the fact that this girl he is so infatuated with does not meet society’s idealist representation of beauty, however, he continues to be captivated by her because she is perfectly herself. I think this poem is highlighting that even though today’s society has such a powerful influence over the meaning of beauty and so many women attempt for conform to meet these standards, they can still find value and appreciation simply by being themselves. These lines of the poem really stood out to me, “You. Not the sun or the stars or the birds or anything Perfect I'd compare some pretty thing too,” (line 3). To me, the fact that the speaker has nothing to compare this women to means that when an individual is true to who they are, they are perfect and beautiful in every faction. I think the sun, the stars, and birds represent individuals who attempt to take on foreign attributes that they think are more appealing than their own. In their strive for uniqueness, they become even more ordinary just like the sun in the way it rises every day and stars/birds as they are so plentiful in our world they seem to have lost their wonder. I appreciate the simple diction of this poem because the simplicity and straightforwardness are a metaphor for the poem in its entirety. A poem can still be beautiful without lavish words like a person can still be beautiful if they don’t have “the face” to be on a magazine cover.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't call stylistic choices a "metaphor" per se.
DeleteMy mantra, regarding poetry and all forms of communication, is "function over form" -- the medium you choose, and the way you use that medium, should reflect your subject and what you want to do regarding that subject.
If you want to convey romantic notions, avoid concrete details and fill your words with grand abstractions and flowery comparisons. If you want someone to move beyond that romantic haze and simply appreciate the unadorned value of what they are ... then just say what you mean.
I love the message of this poem: we are beautiful just they way we are. We do not need to be compared to birds and flowers to be considered beautiful. We are beautiful by being ourselves. When the girl in the poem is described as “pulsing and sweating, red and shining,” the speaker sees her as more than her exterior. He praises her appearance, even though those words tend to have a negative connotation towards a girl’s beauty. Not many girls feel comfortable with oily skin or red sweaty faces, but the speaker longs for her to accept her purest form. She is beautiful because she is herself and not trying to be the sun or the stars. The speaker admires the girl for her raw and natural self, not the superficial beauty that society demands. The speaker wants the girl to find confidence in her skin because she is beautiful, and that is nonnegotiable.
ReplyDeleteI think writers often try to push a relationship between humans and "typical" beautiful items. Beauty cannot be described as a romanticized extreme, but the simplicity that is the beautiful person. On the other hand, this poem pushes for accepting yourself and your insecurities as beautiful. So many people struggle with accepting their self as beautiful, let alone feel that other people will not see them as beautiful. Everyday I deal with friends thinking they need others approval to feel beautiful, but beauty (as cliche) as it sounds comes from within. To compare beauty to flowers, the sun, birds, ect is an unrealistic standard and sets the wrong precedent. I really like this poems spin on the traditional, cliché, boring comparisons of beauty.
ReplyDelete