Being away from you is like the space
Between my breaths. At first, It feels
alright,
full of oxygen, fueled for a long-far
flight;
But then that draw from my heart
keeping pace
Leaves my diaphragm hard-pressed to
rest in place;
So down it pulls, and against the suck
I fight;
Lungs spasm, pulsing; red lines climb
the white
Of my eyes, now on a purple-dark face.
Still, I have wind enough to laugh like
I own a secret well – some endless
breeze.
And you'll think I possess some callous
might,
Impervious to your pain, while I gape
and wheeze.
“Oh, cruel God!,” you'll cry, “my
tears to tongue!”
But I've drunk them not; I've breathed
them in my lungs.
After reading this poem it is clear that the speaker’s separation from the lover he talks about throughout the sonnet is causing the feelings of deep distress and anxiety he experiences. The first eight lines create such strong and vivid images of the pain both mental and physical that the speaker is feeling through phrases such as “against the suck I fight” and “Lungs spasm, pulsing.” The second stanza shifts to a more accepting tone as the speaker talks about putting on a smile to mask his deep feelings of sadness and heartbreak. I really resonated with this because i've been in many positions where you don’t want to show that you are hurt to the person that hurt you. The last two lines are beautifully written and really express the struggle that comes from being in a situation like this. Despite the speaker’s desire to just push away these feelings and consume them, they are in his lungs always there, always reminding him of the hurt he has endured.
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